Starring - President Barack Obama and Zach Galifianakis Directed by - Scott Aukerman Executive Producers - Scott Aukerman, BJ Porter and Mike Farah Producers - Sean Boyle and Rachel Goldenberg Cinematographer / Editor - Brian Lane Camera Operators - Aaron Ulrich, Kevin Stewart and Jordan Downey Key Grip - Leon Mitchell Sound - Bo Sundberg for BoTown Sound Make Up Artist for the President - Jackie Walker Production Assistant - Jordan Robert Clark Special Thanks - Valerie Jarrett, Bradley Cooper, Brad Jenkins, Cody Keenan, Dag Vega, Neil Campbell, Mike Gibbons, Tim Kalpakis, Ben Schwartz, Joe Wagner, Nick Wiger and Harris Wittels
Zach Galifianakis: Sorry I had to cancel a few times.
Zach Galifianakis: …my mouse pad broke last week
Zach Galifianakis: and I had to get my great aunt some
diabetes shoes and uh...
President Obama: You know what Zach, it's no problem.
President Obama: I mean I have to say when I heard that like,
President Obama: people actually watch this show
I was actually pretty surprised.
Zach Galifianakis: Shhh… shhhh!
Zach Galifianakis: Hi. Welcome to another edition of
Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm your host Zach Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis: And uh, my guest today is,
uh, Barack Oba --
Zach Galifianakis: President Barack Obama.
President Obama: Good to be with you, Zach.
Zach Galifianakis: First question --
Zach Galifianakis: In 2013 you pardoned a turkey.
Zach Galifianakis: What do you have planned for 2014?
President Obama: We'll probably pardon another turkey-
President Obama: we do that every Thanksgiving.
President Obama: Was that depressing to you?
President Obama: Seeing one turkey
kind of taken out of circulation?
President Obama: A turkey you couldn't eat?
Zach Galifianakis: So how does this work?
Zach Galifianakis: Do you send ambassador Rodman to
North Korea on your behalf?
Zach Galifianakis: I'd read somewhere that you'd be sending
Hulk Hogan to Syria.
Zach Galifianakis: Or is that more of a job for Tonya Harding?
President Obama: Zach, he's not our ambassador.
Zach Galifianakis: What should we do about North Ikea?
Zach Galifianakis: [fumbles] Kor… North..
Why don't we move on.
Zach Galifianakis: I have to know,
what is it like to be the last black president?
President Obama: What's it like for this to be the last time
you ever talk to a president?
Zach Galifianakis: It must kind of stink though
Zach Galifianakis: that you can't run, you know, three times.
President Obama: No, I actually -- I think it's a good idea.
President Obama: If I ran a third time
President Obama: it would be sort of like doing a third 'Hangover' movie.
President Obama: Didn't really work out very well- did it?
President Obama: Now I have to say that
I've seen this show before and…
President Obama: some of the episodes have probably been
President Obama: a little bit better than this.
President Obama: You know, for example the one with Bradley Cooper.
President Obama: THAT was a great show.
Zach Galifianakis: [mumbles] Yeah everybody loves…
President Obama: He kind of carried that movie- didn't he?
Zach Galifianakis: W-which film are you speaking of?
President Obama: Uh- those 'Hangover' movies.
President Obama: He… basically he carried them.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah- everybody loves Bradley.
Zach Galifianakis: Good for him!
President Obama: Good lookin' guy.
Zach Galifianakis: Being like that in Hollywood- that's easy!
Zach Galifianakis: Tall, handsome- that's easy.
Zach Galifianakis: Be short, fat and smell like Doritos
Zach Galifianakis: and try to make it in Hollywood.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it going to be hard in two years
Zach Galifianakis: when you're no longer President
Zach Galifianakis: and people will stop letting
you win at basketball?
President Obama: How does it feel- having a three inch vertical?
Zach Galifianakis: It's a three inch horizontal. [smirk] So.
Zach Galifianakis: Where do you planning on
building your Presidential Library,
Zach Galifianakis: in Hawaii or your home country of Kenya?
Zach Galifianakis: Because…
I mean both places seem like they would be…
President Obama: Zach, that's a ridiculous question.
Zach Galifianakis: Well, you know-
Zach Galifianakis: I mean not to bring up the
birth certificate thing
Zach Galifianakis: but you really never did really produce your real…
President Obama: Where is your birth
certificate? Why don't you show it to us right
Zach Galifianakis: I don't want to show
anybody my birth certificate
because it's embarassing.
- President Obama: What's embarassing about it?
- ZACH: [sighs] My weight on it.
Zach Galifianakis: It says that I was born seven pounds…
Zach Galifianakis: eight hundred ounces.
Zach Galifianakis: You know what I would do if I were president Mr. President?
Zach Galifianakis: I would make same-sex divorce illegal.
Zach Galifianakis: Then see how bad they want it.
President Obama: I think that's…
President Obama: why you're not president.
President Obama: And that's a good thing.
Zach Galifianakis: You said if you had a son
you would not let him play football.
Zach Galifianakis: What makes you
think that he would want
to play football?
Zach Galifianakis: What if he was a nerd like you?
President Obama: Do you think a woman like
Michelle would marry a nerd?
President Obama: Why don't you ask her…
- President Obama: whether she thinks I'm a nerd.
- ZACH: Could I?
President Obama: No- I'm not gonna let her near you.
Zach Galifianakis: So do you go to any websites
that are dot coms or dot nets,
Zach Galifianakis: or do you mainly just stick with dot govs?
President Obama: No, actually we go to dot
govs. Have you heard of Healthcare.gov?
Zach Galifianakis: Here we go… [heavy sigh]
Zach Galifianakis: Okay, let's get this
out of the way.
Zach Galifianakis: What did you come here to plug?
President Obama: Well, first of all I think it's fair to say that
President Obama: I wouldn't be here with you
today if I didn't have something to plug.
President Obama: Have you heard of the Affordable Care Act?
Zach Galifianakis: Oh yeah- I heard about that.
Zach Galifianakis: That's the thing that doesn't work-
Zach Galifianakis: Why would you get the guy who created the Zune
Zach Galifianakis: to make your website?
President Obama: Healthcare.gov works great now.
President Obama: And millions of Americans have already gotten
President Obama: health insurance plans.
President Obama: And what we want is for
people to know that you can get affordable
President Obama: Most young Americans right now-
they're not covered.
President Obama: And the truth is they can get coverage
President Obama: all for what it cost you
to pay your cellphone bill.
Zach Galifianakis: [sounding bored]
Is this what they mean by drones?
President Obama: The point is that a lot of young people-
President Obama: they think they're invincible.
Zach Galifianakis: Did you say invisible?
Zach Galifianakis: Because uh…
I just think like that’s impos…
President Obama: No, no… not invisible.
President Obama: Invincible.
President Obama: Meaning that they don't think they can get hurt.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm just saying that nobody can be
invisible if you had said invisible.
- President Obama: I understand that.
- [Zach clears his throat]
President Obama: If they get that health insurance
it can really make a big difference.
President Obama: And they've got until March 31st to sign up.
Zach Galifianakis: I don't have a computer, so how does…
President Obama: Well then you can call
Zach Galifianakis: Uh- I don't have a phone.
I'm off the grid.
President Obama: I don’t want you people looking at my text
President Obama: if you know what I mean.
President Obama: First of all Zack,
nobody's interested in your texts.
President Obama: But second of all,
you can do it in person.
President Obama: And the law means that insurers can't
President Obama: discriminate against you
President Obama: if you've got a pre-existing condition anymore.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah- but what about…
Zach Galifianakis: …what about this though?
President Obama: That's disgusting.
President Obama: How…
how long have you had that?
Zach Galifianakis: Oh- just four months.
President Obama: Really?
- ZACH: Spider bites.
Zach Galifianakis: I got attacked by spiders.
President Obama: Zach, you need to get that checked right away.
President Obama: You need to get on Healthcare.gov because…
President Obama: …that's one of the most
disgusting things I've ever seen.
Zach Galifianakis: Is your plug finally over?
President Obama: Uh…
President Obama: …I suppose so.
Zach Galifianakis: So which country were you rooting for
in the winter Olympics?
President Obama: Seriously?
President Obama: I'm the President of the United States.
President Obama: What do you think, Zach?
Zach Galifianakis: I want to thank President Obama
for being on the show…
- President Obama: I'm gonna press this.
- ZACH: Uh- don't touch that please!
[loud buzzer sound]
[loud crashing noises]
Zach Galifianakis: Thanks for the interview and umm…
Zach Galifianakis: thanks for letting me shoot my show here
Zach Galifianakis: all of these years.
President Obama: You've been shooting these- these shows…
President Obama: …here in the diplomatic room?
President Obama: Who gave you permission to do that?
Zach Galifianakis: Bush.
President Obama: Seriously? Who gave him clearance?
Zach Galifianakis: Watch the spider bite!
That's the other hand.
Eh, no- it's everywhere.