10 Things You Can Buy If You Switch To Brita
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We get it; college is busy, you ‘re constantly on the go, what ‘s this weird growth, etc.
Just because you ‘re constantly hustling doesn ‘t mean you should be constantly spending money on bottled water. You could save up to $1,950 per year of college by using a Brita Stream instead of buying bottled water*! The Brita Stream Pitcher filters as you pour so you never have to wait for great tasting water.
By switching over to a Brita you can save up to buy the things that are really important in college – useless crap.
Here now is a list of things you could purchase from Craigslist with just one year of savings if you made the switch. Think of it as your water rebate program.
*Savings based on average retail price of a single count bottled water per ounce.
1) ‘Whizzer Pacemaker MotorBike- $1600
Fulfill that lifelong dream of looking like Pee-Wee Herman with this wild little moped. Red bow tie sold separately.
2) An Above Ground Pool- $1735
In ground pools are just a fancy way to say “hole in the ground. ‘ An above ground pool? That ‘s a magic trick, folks.
3) An Actual Fire Truck- $1900
Imagine rolling up to a party in this bad boy! Once your friends ‘ realize that no one called the cops , you ‘ll be the hero that let ‘s them play on the ladder and pretend to be the station Dalmatian. Who needs a DJ airhorn when you have a literal siren?
4) Angus Bull- $1875
Bulls are multipurpose animals – companion, transportation and, if that doesn ‘t work out, dinner. They ‘re like dogs made of steak!
6) Multiple Burial Plots- $1769
College is where you learn to plan for the future; why not take care of the end of your life now? If you decide to be cremated, use the burial plots as storage units.
7) Coin Operated Horse Ride- $1925
Have you ever tried to put a quarter in a real horse? They do not like it. This one does though. Plus it ‘s much cleaner and smells nicer. Think of it as a mechanical bull but a lot more polite.
8) A 4 ‘ Pennywise Statue- $600
If you ‘re the kind of person that feels like they need more nightmares in their sleepytime, may I present the solution – a hyper-detailed 4 ‘ tall statue of an otherworldly murder clown.
9) An Electric Bouzouki- $960
Guitars are for basics, gang – if you want to stand out on campus, a bouzouki is where it ‘s at. Whip this out on the quad, play “Crash Into Me, ‘ and by the time you ‘re done you ‘ll be surrounded by people saying “what the hell is that thing you ‘re playing? ‘
10) A Waterslide- $1100
FACTS: Every day is a party when you own a waterslide. Even if you ‘re failing all your classes, you own a waterslide. Remember: you can ‘t slide down water that ‘s trapped in a bottle!
