Take a break from becoming rich by buying bitcoins, and check out these fantastic tweets!
If there’s no burlesque performer named Boingo Hotspot, then what are we even doing?— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 7, 2017
My brother wanted to show me his new tattoo..... pic.twitter.com/yJzhoDzuqR— dead inside (@DeadSensei) December 4, 2017
You have to respect the fact that Craigslist hasn’t updated the look of their site in 20 years. They’re like if you want to use our shitty website to sell your garbage fine, if not fuck off we don’t care— pat tobin (@tastefactory) December 5, 2017
So I timed up the guy fixing the turf with "Flight of the Bumblebees" and it's incredible pic.twitter.com/uy3KBkL5TV— Matt Allaire (@AllaireMatt) December 3, 2017
me to my manager: I need more hours— no (@tbhjuststop) November 30, 2017
my manager: *gives me more hours*
Witnesses say this man pulled over to save a wild rabbit from flames along Highway 1 in Southern California as the massive #ThomasFire spreads toward Santa Barbara County. https://t.co/gGqzZlGfqT pic.twitter.com/3MT8IvV91d— ABC News (@ABC) December 7, 2017
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Ma'am you can't take that on the plane— Eileen MERRY O’Connell (@i_Lean) March 31, 2017
ME: This is my therapy ham
My first ad campaign after suffering a massive brain injury pic.twitter.com/A66PwValUC— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) November 20, 2017
I'm watching Star Wars and this little pig is everywhere pic.twitter.com/7vX8MRy91c— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) December 5, 2017
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 7, 2013
shout out to this hustler who tried to sell merch at the crucifixion pic.twitter.com/JmxwZOTp0j— 'Tis The Season For James Colley (@JamColley) December 4, 2017
today in class this guy I was sitting next to had a bag of carrots & the entire class he kept throwing them into his backpack. I asked him what he was doing & he was like "oh sorry do u want one? they're for Kent" and then just whips open his backpack to show his chinchilla Kent— char (@charlottejorrey) December 4, 2017
I hope every person who ever thought I would fail sees this. pic.twitter.com/7iHJ3OfI4i— Eric (@canceric) December 3, 2017
White people when Mr. Brightside starts playing at a party pic.twitter.com/vekw84DnGY— jose (@abitchua) December 3, 2017
So this girl I volunteer with showed me this video last week of her leg giving out during a HS dive competition and I now watch regularly when i need a laugh pic.twitter.com/UalGTUeb9C— Lesley Goynes (@lesleygoynes) December 2, 2017
DATE: I love spicy food.— R&M (@dorsalstream) November 28, 2017
ME: [trying to impress] I once ate an entire bonfire.
No sign has ever encapsulated my life more than the one this woman is wearing pic.twitter.com/eWFVita7Dx— Tim (@Playing_Dad) September 7, 2017
Should you ever encounter a space alien hold off on telling them about MoonPies at first because while it seems like a relatable topic to discuss it could come off as incredibly offensive to them we honestly don’t have all the facts yet— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 7, 2017
Shower sex is overrated fuck me in the microwave— boss baby fan account (@smokeyybearr) December 1, 2017
Later! Best of luck with your bitcoins!