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Telenovelas Are Hell: María Mercedes

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Mexican Telenovelas are known for slapping, insanely convoluted plots, and maudlin over-the-top drama. María Mercedes is no exception.

Mexican telenovelas are known for being way too over the top and María Mercedes does not hold back on the drama. It’s the first of a telenovela trilogy, followed by Miramar and María Del Barrio. This one makes the evil mother in Snow White look like a saint. Consider the following scenario:

Would you rather: be employed as a creepy clown that juggles balls on the street in exchange for coins; have a mother in law so awful that she dresses up as a ghoul and scares the shit out of you; OR have someone shoot you with an AK 47?

Well save your answers, because the Mexican Telenovela, Maria Mercedes was created to give you all the drama and suffering your heart desires, and more. And why is that? Because Telenovelas are hell.

Maria Mercedes is a young woman whose mother abandoned her, and whose father is a raging alcoholic that smells like onions and vomit. Maria is forced to dress up as a horrifying clown and juggle balls for coins so she can raise her siblings, one of which recently got run over by a semi truck and has a bleeding head.

Maria’s fate suddenly changes when she meets Santiago Del Olmo, an insane billionaire that looks like if Javier Bardem had a kid with my tio Felipe and then it became a vampire. Santiago del Olmo is dying of a terrible disease because he’s an asshole.

One day he meets Maria and is like:

“Hey ugly, wanna get married? I’m gonna die in a day or two, and I’d rather you inherit my money than my sister who’s the biggest piece of shit that’s ever lived”

And Maria is like ”Fuck yeah. As long as I don’t have to screw you”

So they get married and he immediately croaks.

That’s just the beginning.


Narrated By: Tamara Yajia

Writer/Editor: Tamara Yajia
Editor: Paul Louis Smith