1)You were told: don't piss off the Russians, as they can be mean, vindictive bastards. Don't try to engage two fronts ( especially in winter ).Or, did you 'forget' what happened to Napoleon ?
2) Get over your revulsion of the Iranians; they would have secured the oil supply from the Allies.
3) For Pete's sake, hire someone if you must to put a little 'Glam' decorating to that bunker, dude.
4)Lose the Charlie Chaplin mustache; Oliver Hardy...yes; Hitler....no.