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Jared, community outreach leader from the Creationist Baptist Church of Alabama,... more »
Published April 14, 2014 1m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Timothy Simons
Director/Editor - Charles Ingram
Director/Editor - Nick Corirossi
Writer - Jack Allison
Writer - Emily Strachan
Executive Producer - Betsy Koch
Producer - Jason Carden
1st AD/Coordinator - Sean Dacanay aka Seanzilla
DP - Brian Lane
Gaffer - Kevin Stewart
Key Grip - Jordan Downey
Swing - Dave Cronin
Wardrobe - Tala Bakhtar
H&MU - Jessica Leigh Schwartz
Art - Candy Lopez
Sound - Kayla Croft for BoTown Sound
PA - Becca Scheuer
Additional VFX - John Allison

1

A BLACK HOLE.

2

3

AN ENORMOUS WELL OF GRAVITY
IN THE VERY FABRIC OF SPACE.

4

5

BUT WHAT DO WE
KNOW ABOUT BLACK HOLES?

6

WHAT ARE THEY REALLY?

7

8

THEY DON'T EXIST.

9

IF IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT IT IN THIS BOOK,

10

THEN YOU DON'T
NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT.

11

12

OUR VAST INFINITE UNIVERSE,
HAS BEEN THE SOURCE OF

13

QUESTIONS SINCE THE DAWN OF MANKIND.

14

BUT ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS
CAN BE ANSWERED QUITE EASILY.

15

THE ANSWER IS, GOD DID IT.

16

17

IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WHITE CHURCH
MINIVAN, WE CAN GO

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ANYWHERE. FROM THE EVENT HORIZON
OF A WORMHOLE, TO

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A PICKETING OF A PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

20

WE ALL KNOW GOD LIVES IN HEAVEN.
BUT WHAT DO WE

21

SEE WHEN WE LOOK TO THE HEAVENS?

22

PLANETS. STARS. CONSTELLATIONS.

23

I SEE SOMETHING. A MAN'S FACE.

24

25

THAT MAN IS GOD.

26

SO GOD IS JUST SOME OLD WHITE MAN
WITH A BIG BUSHY BEARD

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LOOKING DOWN ON US FROM HEAVEN?

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29

YES.

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YES, HE IS.

31

32

BUT WHO CREATED THE HEAVENS
AND THE STARS?

33

GOD.

34

BUT WHY DID HE DO THAT?

35

TSK, TSK, TSK.

36

THAT'S NOT FOR YOU TO
QUESTION, OR KNOW.

37

WE KNOW FROM FOSSIL RECORDS, THAT OUR PLANET WAS ONCE RULED,

38

BY GIANT FEROCIOUS REPTILES.
AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

39

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NOTHING.

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THEY NEVER EXISTED.

42

SATAN PUT THESE FOSSILS ON EARTH
TO TRICK YOU.

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DID HE GET YA?

44

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. NEVER
TO LATE TO COME BACK INTO THE FOLD.

45

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SATAN, YOU OLD JOKESTER.

47

CARL SAGAN SAID, "WE ARE ALL
MADE OF STAR STUFF.",

48

AND HE WAS RIGHT, BUT GOD MADE
THAT STAR STUFF.

49

WE ARE ALL MADE OF STAR STUFF.

50

EXCEPT FOR WOMAN. WHO ARE MADE
FROM THE RIB OF A MAN.

51

AND WHAT ABOUT THE SUN?

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GOD MADE IT.

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THE ONLY SUN YOU NEED TO BE
THINKING ABOUT IS THE HOLY SON.

55

JESUS.

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THE MOON.

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MAN WALKED ON IT. GOD MADE IT.

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ANTS? GOD MADE THEM.

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DOGS? GOD MADE THEM.

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TREES? GOD MADE THEM.

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GAY PEOPLE. GOD DIDN'T MAKE
THEM. THEY CHOSE THAT FOR THEMSELVES.

64

CARS. AMERICA MADE THEM, BUT
GOD MADE AMERICA.

65

SANDWICHES. GOD MADE THEM.

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EVERYTHING, GOD MADE IT.

67

WELL, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO
SIX MORE EPISODES, BUT WE'VE

68

SEEMED TO HAVE ANSWERED ALL
OF YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE FIRST

69

TWO MINUTES. SO WE'RE GOING TO
AIR COLOR BARS WITH

70

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES FOR THE
REST OF OUR TIME.

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I'M JARED. COMMUNITY OUTREACH
LEADER OF THE CREATIONIST

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BAPTIST CHURCH OF ALABAMA.

73

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

74

GOD BLESS.

75

GOOD BYE.

76

(BLEEP)

77

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