Starring Rachel Bilson, Adam Scott and McG. Written By Chris Henchy and Jake Szymanski Directed by Jake Szymanski DP: Christian Sprenger Producer: Mike Farah Sound: Bo Sundberg Make Up: Shauna O'Toole Production Designer: Colin Blake AC: Zoe Van Brunt Hair: Gregory Russell Gaffer: Tony Lopez Art Director: Rea Deslich Special Thanks to Jeff Grosvenor
The video opens on a sound-stage. Crew members are moving back and forth
in a hurry. A clapper board appears and snaps shut. It shows that the
movie being filmed is Hearts of Palm, the director is McG and the
director of photography is C. Sprenger. McG walks onto the set.
McG: All right, clear the audience. This is an important scene.
The shot cuts to Rachel Bilson and Adam Scott waiting for McG.
McG: All right guys. It's the emotional crux of the picture, okay? Adam
you take your shirt off.
Adam Scott immediately pulls off his shirt.
McG: There's a beat and then, Rachel, you take off yours. Then we simply
do the love scene.
Adam Scott: I'm fucking psyched. I'm psyched. This is gonna be fucking
awesome. I'm psyched.
Rachel Bilson (to McG): Can I talk to you alone, for a sec?
McG (to Adam Scott): Hold on a second, my man.
McG and Rachel Bilson walk away from Adam Scott.
Rachel Bilson: I've decided I'm not comfortable doing the nudity.
McG: What are you talking about? It's an art film. At every point, an
actress does this.
Rachel Bilson: No.
McG: God dammit Bilson. I fucking hate your ass. All right, listen. I'm
gonna make it work with a body double. All right? I'll cut it together
tightly and elegantly.
Rachel Bilson: I'm going to ruin the scene.
McG: I'm going to cut it together very tastefully. All right?
Rachel Bilson: Okay.
McG: Let's go. Let's shoot. Everybody, here we go.
The shot cuts to Rachel Bilson and Adam Scott in a romantically lit
room. Bruce Springsteen's song, Secret Garden, plays in the background.
Adam Scott: Well, I guess I should get going.
Rachel Bilson: You can't go back out there. It's pouring.
Adam Scott: Well, so what should I do?
Rachel Bilson: I don't want tonight to end.
Adam Scott takes his shirt off. Rachel Bilson unbuttons her shirt and
pulls it open to reveal a hairy, male torso.
Adam Scott: You're incredible.
Adam Scott runs his hand down the hairy, male chest and stomach. The
shot cuts to Rachel Bilson falling backward onto the bed. Adam Scott
runs his fingers over the male chest again. The shot cuts to Rachel
Bilson's face and she laughs.
Adam Scott: Does that tickle?
Rachel Bilson: Yeah.
Adam Scott: Good.
Adam Scott tickles the male stomach and pops a finger into and out of
the belly button on the male stomach.
Adam Scott: Boop.
Rachel Bilson: Boop.
Adam Scott: Is that a little scar?
Rachel Bilson: I used to have a navel ring. Sometimes, it still hurts.
Adam Scott: I'm gonna make it feel better.
Adam Scott leans his head down and kisses the male stomach repeatedly.
He then moves up and Rachel Bilson wraps her arms around him.
Rachel Bilson: You drive me crazy.
Rachel Bilson rolls them over so she is straddling Adam Scott.
Rachel Bilson: I want you.
Adam Scott: Take me.
Adam Scott reaches out and fondles the male torso.
Adam Scott: Oh yeah! Fuck!
The shot cuts to Rachel Bilson's face briefly and then she leans
forward. The face that leans down is that of McG in a wig. McG kisses
Adam Scott on the lips. She leans back and it's Rachel Bilson's face
Rachel Bilson: I'm going to go fast now.
The shot pans down to reveal the male torso rocking back and for.
Adam Scott: Jesus fucking Christ.
The shot pulls back to reveal the back of a nude, male body in a wig,
rocking back and forth on Adam Scott.
Rachel Bilson (voiceover): Isn't this fantastic?
The shot pulls in to show Rachel Bilson's face again. The shot cuts to
the next morning. Adam Scott is in bed, asleep. He comes to and finds
himself alone. He looks around for Rachel Bilson. Rachel Bilson pops he
head around a doorway.
Rachel Bilson: Morning.
Adam Scott: Hey you.
Rachel Bilson steps from around the corner. Her head has been digitally
grafted onto a nude, male body.
Rachel Bilson: How do you like your eggs?
Adam Scott: Scrambled.
Adam Scott leans back in bed, with a self-satisfied smile on his lips.
The shot cuts back to Rachel Bilson's head on a nude, male body and then
cuts to black.