Jonathan loves three things: oysters, his cat Bug, and Game of Thrones.
- May 17, 2016
- 940k Views
Starring - Jonathan Van Ness
Featuring - Trixie Mattell
Director - Erin Gibson
Producers - Matt Mazany and Ross Buran
Writers - Erin Gibson, Mark Rennie, Gilli Nissim, Matt Mazany
Lead Editor - Joan Ford
Editor and Graphics - Kat Palardy
Director of Photography - Jenn Cohen
Production Designer - Flower Cole
Gaffer - Matt Kruger
Make Up and Hair - Emily Rae
Sound Mixer - Ryan Kaiser
May 17, 2016
Jonathan Van Ness: Tribe Mattel in front of my
face. I cannot even...
Jonathan Van Ness: Did you watch Game of
Thrones this week?
Trixie Mattell: Girl, is America's Next Drag
Superstar Bob The Drag Queen?
♪ [Theme Music] ♪
Jonathan Van Ness: In the beginning,
we had Jon Snow.
Jonathan Van Ness: He's going to Tulum
for the winter--
Where are you going to go?
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: Before you get his
Tommy Bahamas together,
Jonathan Van Ness: what's behind door number 1?
Jonathan Van Ness: Tilda and Sansa Fierce coming in
hot for a family reunion.
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: Girl, they were giving full
home for college for Christmas--
Do you remember those kidney
pies old man used to make?
With the peas and onions?
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: It was just great.
I was like a corpse all semester.
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: Oh, it was just like a normal
year at college. Just like being
Trixie Mattell: repeatedly raped
by a psychopath.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then we've
got Earl Grey who has
Jonathan Van Ness: arrived honey, and he is running
for stepfather of the year.
Greatest, rarest of birds.
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: Back in Marin County,
Munch-Munch is three apple tini's deep.
He's trying to get this Emancipation
Proclamation to free the slaves--
Slavery is the way of our world.
You don't need slaves
to make money.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: (Sighs) And poor Margaery
on a little field
Jonathan Van Ness: trip to go visit her brother, who's at the
Jonathan Van Ness: pray the gay
away conversion camp.
I just want it to stop.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: It's like, O-M-Jur,
like that potato sack.
Trixie Mattell: It is so sad to see a queen
in bone beige.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then we've got
the shovel guy from Home Alone.
Jonathan Van Ness: He's having a heart to heart
with Tom-Tom, but they're
Jonathan Van Ness: walked in upon by Vintage
Mia Farrow who sends him packing.
Trixie Mattell: Girl, he sashays away like he
stole all the silverware honey.
[Glass Objects Clanging]
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then we've got
busted, homeless Nelly Furtado
Jonathan Van Ness: who makes the fatal mistake
of being a woman in a
Jonathan Van Ness: scene with Evil Elijah Wood.
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: It's like girl, who eats
the skin of an apple?
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: But there was this
movie with Anne Heche,
Jonathan Van Ness: and she is doing that
with an apple.
Jonathan Van Ness: So, I actually really like to
eat the skin of an apple.
Trixie Mattell: Whenever I you guys are peeling
a skin off of an apple, I make a
Trixie Mattell: point not to [...?]
Trixie Mattell: because then you get the meat
flower in the jugular like she did.
Jonathan Van Ness: You do not want to
talk about Anne Heche,
Jonathan Van Ness: and that's okay.
Jonathan Van Ness: And then back at The Walt,
that steam-steam chemistry
Jonathan Van Ness: between Tilda and Wildlings
Louis C.K. was palpable honey.
[Chewing and Smacking]
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: Oh, is that the part where
Stringy Jesse Pinkman says the tagline
Trixie Mattell: for Dave and Buster's?
Sorry about the food.
It's not what we're known for.
Jonathan Van Ness: And then their polite
dinner conversation comes to
Jonathan Van Ness: a screeching halt, when they
have to go on Jimmy Kimmel,
Jonathan Van Ness: to read mean tweets
♪ [Rock Music] ♪
...to Jon Snow.
You have betrayed you own kind.
You have betrayed the north...
You will watch as I
skin them living...
You will watch as my soldiers
take turns raping your sister.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then at the climax,
we've got Christina Aguilera.
Jonathan Van Ness: She's testifying before the
committee on reproductive rights.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: But honey, she's
leaning right into that fire...
Trixie Mattell: It reminds me the time I was
at a Hamburger Mary's,
Trixie Mattell: and I was doing Chaka Khan's
"Through the fire",
Trixie Mattell: and there was an actual
kitchen fire that night.
♪ Through the fire ♪
♪ To the limit
To the wall ♪
♪ ["Through the fire" continues] ♪
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: It's so Lemonade.
Trixie Mattell: Trixie: Totally, and they
were all Jay Z, and they
Trixie Mattell: were like, "Sorry, girl."
Jonathan Van Ness: Penny, this is giving me an
unbelievable Daenerys Targaryen realness.
Trixie Mattell: Silence!
Trixie Mattell: Bring back my curls.
[They're Both Giggling]
Trixie Mattell: Where are...
Jonathan Van Ness: my dragons?