You Can Touch My Boobies

A sexy music video that takes place inside the mind of a 12 year-old boy.

Social ON

Social OFF

Credits Details Embed Transcript

: Uploader
Rachel Bloom

Additional Credits [+]

Added 12 months ago

2087 funny votes

754 die votes

Description: A sexy music video that takes place inside the mind of a 12 year-old boy.

Categories: Not Safe For Work Sketch Music

Keywords: Rachel Bloom Fuck Me Ray Bradbury You Can Touch My Boobies sexy boobs puberty awkward Jewish Hebrew school

Patience is overrated...

Standard Sizes

Custom Size

Width: px
Height: px

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

LYRICS:

(spoken)
Hey Jeffrey Goldstein. Looks like you fell asleep in Hebrew school again. Well that's okay. 'Cause now, you're about to have a dream! And not just any dream...a sexy dream!

Sex. Sex. Sexy sex.

Come with me, Jeffrey Goldstein to a fantasy.
Rip off your Stewie Griffin shirt, give yourself to me.
No need to check the lock, 'cause your parents are at Benihana.
Throw away the sock,
Now come in close I know you wanna...

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right.
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right.
'Cause you can touch my boobies.

Sex sex sexy sex boner boner uterus.

Saturday night and the music's pumpin' at the family fun plex.
We'll lick tongues in a go-kart, and you'll tell me fun facts about minerals.
Now I'm dressed like the lady from that cookie wrapper in the trash!
I'll show you my vagina which is located on my stomach somewhere!

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right.
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
(spoken) Wow, amethyst is a type of quartz?!
For that you can touch my boobies.

Sex Sex sexy sex boner boner uterus fallopian fallopian the pillow in the living room.

Jeffrey! This is Golda Meir, the fourth prime minister of Israel! You're disgusting! You are perverted! You have brought shame on your family and the Jewish people! You are going to be a rapist!

Boooooooobs!

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
(Labia).
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right.
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
(Outer labia).

We're gonna have some fun tonight
'Cause you can touch my boobies.
(You're sick!)
Don't be shy, yeah, it's all right,
'Cause you can touch my boobies.'
(Put your schmekel away!)

(Sex sex sexy sex)
You can touch my boobies!
(Boner boner uterus)
You can touch my boobies!
(Fallopian Fallopian)
You can touch my boobies!
(I see you staring at your dog's pussy!)
You can touch my boobies.

eeeehhhhhhh
i'd touch em
I was an adolescent boy, and I don't remember it being at all like this.
can iz fapp?
Stoooooooooooopid
Teacher doing child now go to jail
All the people in this video was bored and desperate
bhavani
Hilarious!
Great video..>!!
the old lady creep me out to much...
He actually qualified at eight days....
(.)(.) !!
Personal log, Stardate 2012.179 - This is ridiculously unfair because, no matter how much I try, I can't laugh at this and touch myself inapproriately at the same time. Damn forces of nature!
Add a comment...
a friend's half-sister makes $81 hourly on the internet. She has been fired from work for six months but last month her paycheck was $19477 just working on the internet for a few hours. Read more here NuttyRich♥com
Great video -- hilarious. It's a 3 minute summary of every novel Phillip Roth ever wrote, only more entertaining. Goodbye Columbus, Goodbye
So funny!
It didn't even open
Whats so funny?
U can touch my boobies

Featured Pictures And Words

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office

1 of 25
4,532 views

Loading...

Podcasts

Toilet Wine
Owen & TJ Read the News
1 of 8

Loading...

Not Safe For Work

BRACE YOURSELF (aka Oral Sex and Braces)

1 of 10
524,170 views

Loading...

Sketch

Rachel Bilson's Deleted Sex Scene

1 of 10
26,090,367 views

Loading...

Music

BAT FIGHT with Will Ferrell

1 of 10
6,941,119 views

Loading...

Quicklist

Sponsored Videos

Special Unit's Unit w/ Adam DeVine
46,926 views
Richard the Cat: The BBQ
23,223 views
AMC's Small Town Security
9,174 views

Heart Transplant with Kelsey Grammer from Kelsey Grammer, Joe Hartzler, Ian Pfaff, Aaron Ulrich, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, Andrew Grissom, Matt Sweeney, and BoTown Sound

Added

Heart Transplant with Kelsey Grammer from Kelsey Grammer, Joe Hartzler, Ian Pfaff

Behind the Candelabra: The Reviews Are In from Bryan, Chris Poole, and Funny Or Die

Added

Behind the Candelabra: The Reviews Are In from Bryan, Chris Poole, Funny Or Die

Added

Lil Dicky - White Dude from lildicky

Added

It's Not About the Nail from jheadley

Over Analyzing Texts from NicePiece, Ace Marrero, and Janna VanHeertum

Added

Over Analyzing Texts from NicePiece, Ace Marrero, Janna VanHeertum

Stop It! from Katy Walker, JasonCarden, Caitlin Smith, Betsy Sodaro, Lisa Lumar, Matt Sweeney, Aaron Ulrich, James Henchy, and Caleb Swyers

Added

Stop It! from Katy Walker, JasonCarden, Caitlin Smith

Anchorman 2 Official Teaser Trailer #2 from Will Ferrell, Dave Koechner, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, and Funny Or Die

Added

Anchorman 2 Official Teaser Trailer #2 from Will Ferrell, Dave Koechner, Paul Rudd

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 8 Recap from KristenRozanski, Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, Ross Buran, JohnFord, and Marvin Lemus

Added

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 8 Recap from KristenRozanski, Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson

Downton Diddy from Sean Combs, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram, Nick Wiger, Andy Maxwell, Funny Or Die, Betsy Koch, Andrew Grissom, Ellie del Campo, Melissa Gould McNeely, and BoTown Sound

Added

Downton Diddy from Sean Combs, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram

She-Ra with Kylie Minogue from Kylie Minogue, Alfie Allen, Danny Jelinek, Ryan Perez, Brian Lane, Funny Or Die, Dave Theune, Andrée Vermeulen, William Morse, Andrew Grissom, Allison Johnson, Ellie del Campo, Melissa Gould McNeely, and BoTown Sound

Added

She-Ra with Kylie Minogue from Kylie Minogue, Alfie Allen, Danny Jelinek

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: James Franco from Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Andy Samberg, Ed Norton, The Lonely Island, Scott Aukerman, BJPorter, Brian Lane, Between Two Ferns, Funny Or Die, Betsy Koch, Comedy Deathray, and Antonio Scarlata

Added

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: James Franco from Zach Galifianakis, James Franco, Andy Samberg

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office from Brian Boone

Added

14 Tips for Staying Fit at the Office Most of us sit in front of a desk all day, typing away at a computer, which is partly to blame for our obesity crisis. But just because you're sedentary all day,... by Brian Boone

10 Rules I Learned From Lifetime Movies & An Interview With My Friend Who Wrote One from Andy McDonald

Added

10 Rules I Learned From Lifetime Movies Put down the photos you've collected of your next victim, and the cigarette you're using to burn the eyes out, and the lipstick you're applying liberally around ... by Andy McDonald

An Admittedly Incomplete Guide To Arrested Development from Jason Flowers

Added

An Admittedly Incomplete Guide To Arrested Development Arrested Development hits Netflix on May 26th with an all-new season and, hopefully, a lot of the same great running gags we've come to know and love. Been a whi... by Jason Flowers

14 Photos That Can't Be a Coincidence, Right? from Look What I Found

Added

14 Photos That Can't Be a Coincidence, Right? There are times when it seems everything on earth aligns to create that picture-perfect moment. Either that or somebody's messing with you. by Look What I Found

Let's Make all the Anthony Weiner Puns Now and Just Get Them Out of the Way from Funny Or Die

Added

Let's Make all the Anthony Weiner Puns Now and Just Get Them Out of the Way Former disgraced Congressman/walking NY Post dream Anthony Weiner has announced that he will run for mayor of New York. This is fantastic news if you've been wai... by Funny Or Die

Hollywood On Vine with Simon Rex from Simon Rex, andymilonakis, Dashiell Driscoll, Avin Das, Katy Walker, Matt Sweeney, Caleb Swyers, and Funny Or Die

Added

Hollywood On Vine with Simon Rex from Simon Rex, andymilonakis, Dashiell Driscoll

Introducing EHHHHHHHH.COM from Ed Asner, Cloris Leachman, Rip Taylor, and Funny Or Die

Added

Introducing EHHHHHHHH.COM from Ed Asner, Cloris Leachman, Rip Taylor

The Kings of Summer Red Band Trailer from Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, Hannibal Buress, Megan Mullally, Thomas Middleditch, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Kumail Nanjiani, Eugene Cordero, Angela Trimbur, Nick Rutherford, Craig Cackowski, and Tony Hale

Added

The Kings of Summer Red Band Trailer from Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie

Arrested Development Returns! EXCLUSIVE Sneak Preview from Nick Wiger and Funny Or Die

Added

Arrested Development Returns! EXCLUSIVE Sneak Preview from Nick Wiger, Funny Or Die

Richard Linklater's "Before 30 Seconds From Now" from BonafideComedy, Drew DiFonzo Marks, Ally Hord, madelinewalter, and Ryan Moulton

Added

Richard Linklater's "Before 30 Seconds From Now" from BonafideComedy, Drew DiFonzo Marks, Ally Hord

The Mouseketeer from Matt Oberg, Jody Lambert, Grace Helbig, Sydney Poitier, Peach OBrien, Funny Or Die, MichaelChernus, and dennislambert

Added

The Mouseketeer from Matt Oberg, Jody Lambert, Grace Helbig

Dealing With Bed Bugs In 19 Easy Steps from John Zachary Townsend

Added

Dealing With Bed Bugs In 19 Easy Steps An easy, step by step rundown on how to deal with a bed bug problem. by John Zachary Townsend

The Exploding People from Justin Bilicki

Added

The Exploding People A weekly foray into the lives of fictional shitbags. from Justin Bilicki

6 Gifs of Miguel's Epic Stage Dive from Andy Maxwell

Added

6 Gifs of Miguel's Epic Stage Dive Miguel attempted to fly during the Billboard Awards last Sunday night. He didn't quite make it, but he did manage to crush a couple of women's heads in the proce... by Andy Maxwell

8 Reasons Why Justin Bieber Is A True Artist from Pat O'Brien

Added

8 Reasons Why Justin Bieber Is A True Artist After being booed during a recent acceptance speech at the Billboard Music Awards, Justin Bieber defensively claimed “I’m an artist and I should be taken serious... by Pat O'Brien

THIS IS THE END - Seth & Jay Confess from ThisIsTheEnd, Seth Rogen, and Jay Baruchel

Added

THIS IS THE END - Seth & Jay Confess from ThisIsTheEnd, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel

Added

Inside Focus from The_Hangover_III

They Surf with Patton Oswalt from Patton Oswalt, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram, Andy Maxwell, Funny Or Die, Chris Poole, Caleb Swyers, Katy Walker, and Brian Lane

Added

They Surf with Patton Oswalt from Patton Oswalt, NickCorirossi, Charles Ingram

Gay of Thrones:Game of Thrones Ep. 7 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Eileen O'Connell, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, JohnFord, and Marvin Lemus

Added

Gay of Thrones:Game of Thrones Ep. 7 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Eileen O'Connell, Erin Gibson

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 6 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz, Funny Or Die, MattMazany, and JohnFord

Added

Gay of Thrones: Game of Thrones Ep. 6 Recap from Jonathan Van Ness, Erin Gibson, Brad Schulz

Gays Beware with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei from Jesse Tyler Ferguson, George Takei, Brad Goreski, lauren, DaddyReynolds, Funny Or Die, Deborah Tarica, Betsy Koch, and Ross Buran

Added

Gays Beware with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei from Jesse Tyler Ferguson, George Takei, Brad Goreski

Everyone Who Showed Up for Stefon's Wedding from TheMagicHour

Added

Everyone Who Showed Up for Stefon's Wedding The wedding of Stefon and Anderson Cooper, on the season finale of Saturday Night Live, was truly a must-see-TV event. Here's a look at the guest list, which wa... by TheMagicHour

7 Reasons Why You’re Sleeping On The Couch from Brandon Scott Wolf

Added

7 Reasons Why You’re Sleeping On The Couch “Why are you sleeping on the couch?” has been a question that people have asked ever since Jonathon Couch invented the couch in the Spring of 1843 and up until e... by Brandon Scott Wolf

Daft Punk-Get Lucky is Dangerous from cascade up and MattMazany

Added

Daft Punk-Get Lucky is Dangerous from cascade up, MattMazany

April Diamond, Voice Coach Proves Her Abilities from deloromusic and Skybach

Added

April Diamond, Voice Coach Proves Her Abilities from deloromusic, Skybach

You Can Touch My Boobies