Helpful hints on how to keep your bitches in line.

Full Credits

Starring The Hollywood Entertainment Industry's Jack McBrayer. Written by Amy Rhodes and Bryan Safi. Directed by Drew Antzis.

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October 11, 2007


Voicover: [Gudish].
Jack: Hello, I'm the Hollywood
entertainment industries Jack McBrayer.
You may recognize me from my role
of Mario Lopez on Saved by the Bell,
to which banks Customer Service Industrial
or the Trader Joe's on Hyperion.
I am humbled to welcome you to my show,
Living Neath the Law with Jack McBrayer.
Today, I'd love to share a
kernel of wisdom with you
about how to keep your bitches in line.
Come along.
You don't have to be a
pimp to have bitches.
You just have to be a man
and like it or not,
women are here to stay.
As you know bitches are
always saying things like
"Let's hold hands,"
or "Take me out for Korean Barbecue,"
or "Don't throw me down
the stairs, I'm pregnant."
That ain't no way to live.
Whenever one of your
bitches gets out of line,
feel free to slap her around.
After all, if God hadn't want
us to smack our bitches around
he wouldn't have given us hands.
So next time your bitch gets out of line,
remember talk shit, get hit.
I'm Jack McBrayer, reminding you,
you don't have to look like
a criminal to live like one.