What Should Poor People Be Allowed To Eat?
David the DIY Guy shows you how to make a fun pie for tax day!
- April 15, 2015
- 42k Views
- The Crypt
April 15, 2015
Hey, what is up you guys? David here with another one of
David's tips for the do it yourselfer. So as you know it's tax day,
and if you're anything like me you may have put things off to the last minute.
Don't panic, because today I'm going to teach you how to do your taxes at the last
minute right from your own home. Just kidding. Taxes are for fucking nerds.
Late April fools' baby. I never do my taxes.
Get out of here.
But that doesn't mean that we can't have a little bit of fun on tax day.
Which is why I'm going to show you how to make my patented tax day pie.
Mmm, sounds good. Yum-yum.
Okay, so you're going
to want to keep in mind that this is more of a F-U to the government, and not
really for eating, so be sure you don't actually eat any of it.
I mean why should I have to pay taxes for schools that my kid is not even
going to go too, because I'm going to be teaching them from home.
So the next thing you're going to need is receipts.
These are my receipts from the year. Alright, this ones is for laser tag,
shoes, laser tag...
I think this one is for that perm that I got, that looked pretty cool.
Laser tag, laser tag, laser tag, dog dish, gum, gun...
What's that say? Tiolet-table? Ok, laser tag...this one says cinnamon, but
it feels high for cinnamon. Laser tag, laser tag, Michaels, I'm a Michaels
freak, and laser tag, and this is for a hot dog that I got at the laser tag place.
Ok, great. Whoops...laser tag.
Ok, so you're going to want to take all of those receipts and just toss them
into your bowl. Just mix them up right there, and I'm also going to throw
in a bunch of parking tickets, that I do not intend to pay. Alright...
Alright, so next you're going to want to grab any tax forms, or letters that the IRS
may have sent you.
Oh boy, I might need to make two pies.
I moved 8 times, and they always end up finding me.
Just go ahead, and start tearing them up.
That's what I think of that.
Ok, so we've got our tax mix in are big bowl. The next thing we're going to want to do
is to fill it 2 thirds of the way with water, and stir.
You're just gonna want to go ahead, and...whoops, and add our water there.
It's important to mash these really good, because not only are we making
a fun pie, we're also getting rid of all of these forms which is huge for me,
because no paper trail, no problem. Ok, so once we got that mashed up I actually
like to add a little bit of Choco Sauce.
Now remember, this is a metaphorical protest pie so you could really add
in just about anything you want, if you want to spit in it, pee into it...
Sometimes I like to pretend that this is my little butt hole, and there is just
shit coming out. Just anything that conveys your hatred for the government,
and for taxes. Mmm, yum-yum. Just go ahead and pretend that your Uncle Sam,
and the bowl is my pockets. Really reach in there where your fingers don't belong.
You know, or don't. Fuck it.
Alright so the next step is we're going to get our pie crust.
I just use the store bought kind that you buy at the store, and I know a
lot of you guys in the comment section is probably going to say, "Hey David,
aren't you a do it yourselfer? How come you're buying your pie crust?"
And to you I say mind your own business. So next you're going to want to take your
bowl of tax fill in here and just sort of dump it into the pie--
> David what the hell are you doing?
> Honey, I'm doing a tutorial video on how to make a symbolic pie that
expresses how much we hate taxes and big government.
> Oh that's great. Fuck the government. That's my wife Deb.
So we're going to go ahead and just dump our slop.
Alright, and our next step is to pop it in the oven and bake for an hour.
And that is how you make tax day pie. As you can see it got a little burnt,
but that's actually a good thing, because our final step is to throw
it in the garbage.
(police sirens are heard in the background)
This is actually going to be my last tutorial for a little while. The FEDS have
actually surrounded my house, and it looks like there might be a little
bit of a scuffle, but be sure to subscribe to my channel for more
David's tips for the do it yourselfer.
(you hear sirens and helicopters in the background)
> (Male Voice on a bullhorn):
David you have your whole life ahead of you.
Don't do this.
Let us help you.
> (David): Coming.
(you hear a gun cock)
(soft piano music plays)