Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

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The video opens with a title that read BETWEEN TWO FERNS with ZACH GALIFIANAKIS. The titles fade to reveal Zach Galifianakis and Jimmy Kimmel sitting between two ferns.

Zach Galifianakis: Hi, my name Zach Galifianakis. Welcome to between two ferns. I’m your host Zach Galifianakis. With me today is Jimmy Kimmel.

Jimmy Kimmel: Thank you for having me.

The words - Jimmy Kimmel “Talk Show Host” – appear beneath Jimmy Kimmel.

Zach Galifianakis: You’re a late night talk show host. What’s it like to be in the late night business?

Jimmy Kimmel: Well, it’s great you know. It’s something I always wanted to do. When I was a kid, I’d watch Letterman and it’s really, like, it’s a dream come true.

Zach Galifianakis: Have you ever farted on a cocker spaniel?

Jimmy Kimmel: No. No, I can’t say that I have.

Zach Galifianakis: Do you want a beer?

Zach Galifianakis pulls out a forty.

Jimmy Kimmel: Seems like that one was opened.

Zach Galifianakis then pulls out a 12 ounce bottle for Jimmy Kimmel.

Jimmy Kimmel: Thanks.

Jimmy Kimmel opens his beer and takes a sip.

Zach Galifianakis: Maybe, it’ll loosen you up a little bit.

Jimmy Kimmel: It’s nice and warm. Just the way I like it.

Zach Galifianakis removes his shoes and socks.

Zach Galifianakis: Bet you can’t do that on your show.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah, I could. I mean, there’s no rule against it. I just, it’s just not something I would do.

Zach Galifianakis: You have a girlfriend, Sarah Silverman. What’s that like?

Jimmy Kimmel: People always ask, do you guys just crack each other up all the time and that gets tiring.

Zach Galifianakis continues drinking his beer.

Zach Galifianakis: You and Sarah, Sarah being a comedian, do you always crack each other up at home and stuff?

Jimmy Kimmel laughs politely.

Zach Galifianakis: I like to go to Long John Silver’s and be shocked at how much the prices are and then just look at the cashier and go only in New York. You and Sarah could something with that.

Jimmy Kimmel: Well, she doesn’t like fish.

Zach Galifianakis gives Jimmy Kimmel a knowing look.

Jimmy Kimmel: What?

Zach Galifianakis: I know that that means.

Jimmy Kimmel: What?

Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. That’s good man. Men like fish. The Benaffleck thing that you did.

Jimmy Kimmel: That what?

Zach Galifianakis: Benaffleck.

Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, Ben Affleck?

Zach Galifianakis: How close did you get to Ben Affleck’s lips?

Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, I got pretty close to him.

Zach Galifianakis: Did you ever do takes where you were closer to his lips.

Jimmy Kimmel: Than the ones that were in the video?

Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, like in rehearsals and stuff?

Jimmy Kimmel: No.

Zach Galifianakis: You got girl lips.

Jimmy Kimmel: Thank you.

Zach Galifianakis: You’re welcome. We gotta have, I’m sorry, we gotta have a word from our sponsor.

The shot cuts to a guy in a banana costume.

Banana Man: Hi, I’m Barry, from Barry’s Bananas. Bananas so good, other bananas enjoy them.

Banana man begins to peel a banana. The shot cuts back to Jimmy Kimmel and Zach Galifianakis.

Zach Galifianakis: I’m sorry.

The Shot cuts back to Banana Man.

Banana Man: Our bananas are so delicious, I guarantee, you’ll pull them apart.

The shot cuts back to Jimmy Kimmel and Zach Galifianakis.

Zach Galifianakis: Enough! Enough! This, this, between two bananas, but, I mean, going on and on about banana stuff. (To Kimmel) Do you like bananas?

Jimmy Kimmel: Hmmm.

The shot cuts back to the title, BETWEEN TWO FERNS with ZACH GALIFIANAKIS.