Finding love is hard- about as hard as finding a ride back to your car after a night of drinking in downtown Austin.

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August 08, 2014


Every little girl dreams of her future man, but I never imagined he would drive a pedicab
I know you’re really going places in life
And you’re getting there on a cart attached to a bike
Pedicab boyfriend

Pedicab boyfriend take me away
To your sublet where you got 6 weeks left to stay
I know you’re doing the very best you can
Going up that hill called life in your cab
Pedicab boyfriend, your thighs are so toned
Pedicab boyfriend, you’ll never ride alone

We’ll talk about things like your Psychology degree
And how on the side, you’ve been selling weed
Then you’ll tell me about all your exes
And that women are crazy, “if it’s true, it’s not sexist”
Pedicab boyfriend... oh...
Pedicab boyfriend… okay

Out at dinner, you will make me pay
because as you always say “chivalry goes both ways”
You’ll laugh the hardest at your own jokes
But refuse to come to my improv shows

(Insert clip of me doing improv)

Pedicab boyfriend, you can just pull over here
Pedicab boyfriend, no, I’m not gonna tip
Pedicab boyfriend, next time I’ll just walk
Pedicab boyfriend, you’ll tell all your friends I’m a bitch