Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Laws i thot we dun hit the Bitch Ceelin whiff dat Linsee Lohan, but lurnin in the... more »
Published April 03, 2014 120 views More Info »
Hey!
This Loretta Jenkins
and every now and then
I do cater to the masses
and I just report on somethin'
y'all want to hear about.
And it seems like they ain't nobody
folks like to hate on more
than that ol'
Smiley Hanner Montanne
Transgennered
Whore on a Wreckingball
Wouldn't even be famous
Lessen your Daddy wasn't who he was
Cyrus Bitch…
Damn, that's a mouthful.
Oh well…
I'm used to mouthfuls.
(laughs, burps)
Hey, I got a sawbuck
for the first person
what kicks Miley in the back of the head
next time she stick
that nasty whore tongue out.
I mean, goddamn-
Why you gotta be so slutty, huh?
Man, she probably got diddled when she was little.
That's probably what happened.
Did she ever do one of them
Woody Allen movies?
He got a reputation.
He like them youngins.
We need to support him.
Err- EXport.
Oops!
THat's my Freudian slip.
I can't stand Wooly Allen
to tell ya the truth.
Miley, shit!
There ain't no such of a thing
as a flat-chested whore.
Shit, you got money!
Go buy you a set of them!
You bought you a set of dentures, didn't ya?
Man, this here's what happens
when child stars don't OD.
They just become stuts.
Ha!
Cum-sluts.
(laughs, coughs)
She probably does that too.
She all tryin' to be all
sexually free-spirited.
She probably gonna be doin'
one of them creampie gang bangs
for her next music video.
I wouldn't put it past her.
She probably gonna do one of them
two-girls-one-cup sequels.
You watch.
You mark my words.
She nasty.
She is THAT nasty.
She probably take them morning after pills
like a pez dispenser.
(laughs)
Oh god.
Sometimes I just crack myself up.
What was I talkin' about?
What's this hammer here for?
Oh yeah…
Man, I used to fuck her Daddy
back in the day.
You know, back in the day
when he had that
Achy Breaky one hit wonder.
But I never could get used to them dudes
that want you to spit on them
or stick your thumb up they butt
while they humpin' on ya.
Hell, who knows?
I might even be Miley's momma.
Them days is just a haze.
I wonder if she that baby
I left behind the Sak-N-Sudz.
Somebody check her Wikipedia page
and see where she's birthed.
Lemme know.
It piss me off that I got that Wreckerball song
stuck in my head
before I knower it was that heifer a-singin'.
Somebody else musta writ that song,
cause how's some 12 year old nit-wit
gonna know about love and loss
and all that heavy shit like that, huh?
i hate folks that's borned into fame.
They ain't that special!
Unlike her cunty-
I mean country counterpart, Taylor Swift?
Miley do have about five to six
notes in her vocal repertoire,
so I will give her that.
But I ain't got big specks for somebody
what act a certain way
just so they can get attention.
I mean I wouldn't go
to one of her concerts on purpose,
but the other day,
I call in on this radio show
thinkin' Ize gonna win tickets
to Billy Ray's concert
and I get there and there ain't nothin'
but a million thousand screamin' nit-wits
waitin' for her to come out
and twerk on 'em!
(farts)
So thankfully,
I had my wine bra on
and my stadium buddy strapped in
and I just ended up down there
in the mosh pit,
but don't you know that stick-figured
Miley Cyrus?
She toss her ass at me
thinkin' Ize gonna help
crowd surf her around her ass!
Shit.
I don't know what diseases
that bitch be carrying,
I just toss her ass on the ground like that!
Like a Chinaman
in one of them "HYAH-HYAH" movies.
She grabbed my brand new
Goodwill crop-top as she's a'fallin'
and sposed my titties to everybody!
It was just about the most
embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.
I don't care if she is a celebrity,
so I grabbed her up by the hair-
cause an eye for an eye
and a tooth for a tooth-
and well…
I been in lockup since then.
That's why she had to cut her hair off
like some tranny boy.
I mean, I took a-
It was blood!
I ripped half of that bitch's scalp off!
Who's proud of me?
(Indian battle cry)
Hell yeah!
And then, I got to wonderin',
Cause I had a flashback
from when I had this bar fight
when I was young
and I ripped this bitch's wig off
and then I realize Ize fighting' a dude!
See, I think that Disney channel
cancel that Hannah Montana
show cause she a transgendicle.
And then she started moonlightin'
on YouTube as Justin Beaver.
They ain't never seen in the
same place twice.
Has y'all ever noticed that?
It's like fuckin' Superman-Lois Lane!
That kinda shit.
I mean,
I hate to throw conspiracy out there,
but I'd like to see some proof.
All this sumbitch does is
party like a freakazoid
and above everybody else
like he ain't gotta go by anybody's rules.
He just doin' weird offensive shit
to get everybody's attention.
We need to deport that bitch
back to my motherland.
Or hell, go ahead and
tape them both togethe
and shoot them to the moon,
like that Galaxy movie.
Let 'em fade off into obscurity,
and that's How I Seize It.
Ow...

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More