Yahoo offered me $100 million to bury this video.

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Stats & Data

May 01, 2010


Turn on my PC, and open Chrome
It automatically loads my Home

Page -- what website am I on?
You're damn right -- it's

Holy smokes, those pages load fast
It took me half a sec to find J Lo's ass

Obama's in charge -- that's not quite accurate
He's second in command, right behind Eric Schmidt

Even more -- there's a Google freakin' world
From Google Search and Earth to Google Jheri Curls

We revolve around the sun -- that used to be true
But nowadays, we go around Mountain View

The company's making all the right moves
Back in the day, they gave us Google News
In 2006, they acquired YouTube
And in 2010, they introduced Google Lube

Thanks to Google dates, I met my wife Dolores
Six months later, I got a Google Divorce

Ten times a day I check my Gmail
And thanks to Google Shopping, I don't pay retail
I pay my bills using Google Checks
And I get busy using Google Sex

See the stars with Google Telescope
Get off drugs with Google Methadone
Feed your fish with G-Aquarium
If you're insane use Google Sanitarium

Sometimes I go to Google
For no reason
Maybe I find
The Google logo pleasing

'Tis the season to be Googly
It's high treason to be Yahooey

Put an end to wars -- just go to Google Peace
And sign a treaty with Ahmadi-
nejad, Kim Jong Il, Fidel, and Saddam
Hussein -- oh wait, that guy is gone

Google stock debuted at eighty five
Right now it's really freakin' high

They make 20 million every day
It should be 20 Googol -- move the decimal place

They gained our trust -- Google always comes through
That's why Yahoo is a distant number two

Google's name is something sacred
Sometimes I think that we should hyphenate it

If Google were a snack, I'd have a fat neck
If Google sold crack, I'd be a crackhead
If Google baked rolls, I'd eat nothing but bread
If Google had a hole, I'd dump my girlfriend
If Google were a hooker, I'd be in line to pay
And if Google made a toilet, I'd pee twenty times a day

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs
Will watch Google grow
And in in a couple of years
Both of their asses will be broke

Windows, ipods, ipads, iphones
Excel and word, pretty soon they'll go

They'll be replaced with Google products
Say goodbye to those ridiculous markups

If I could snort Google, I'd be snorting those keys
Oh yeah, I'm high

Search images, videos, books, and blogs
And with a quick download
Your own desktop

Scholarly papers, patents, and traffic
You can even search Uranus
Both your ass and the planet

Checkout let's you pay the safe and easy way
And also say, "Screw you eBay"

Google Maps will give you directions
Use Google condoms for your protection

I used Google Faith, and I found God
I Used Google Earth and found Osama bin Laden

Pop Pop -- used my Google AK
And I don't think that he went Heaven's way

And I gotta say
That even though I'm not gay
I must admit
I'd like to marry Larry Page

GOOG-411 is FRE

Create some privacy with Google Toilet Stalls
Then pull out and inflate your Google blow up doll

Store your pictures with Picasa
Park your Honda and your Datsun

Find the distance from Japan to China
And pics of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan's vaginas

Safe search off -- I want some nudity
After I'm done, I better clear my history