Episode 9: Zach sits down with from "The Office" and they quite possibly discuss "Dinner for Schmucks".

Full Credits

Starring: Zach Galifianakis and Steve Carell Directed by: BJ Porter Produced by: Scott Aukerman & BJ Porter Edited by: Mordecai Druitt Director of Photography: Brian Murray B-camera: Nick Moo Special Thanks: Christin Trogan, Mike Farah, and Matt LaBov


[ whispering ]
[ Theme music ]
Zach Galifianakis: Hello. Welcome to, um, another
edition of, uh, "Between Two Ferns".
Zach Galifianakis: I'm your host Zach Galifianakis,
and I'm very pleased to have one of my
- favorite actors, Steve Carell.
- Yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Steve Carell: You know, I hear the
camera adds ten pounds.
Steve Carell: Looks like you've
eaten five cameras.
Steve Carell: Here we go.
Here we go.
Zach Galifianakis: Uh, I really love "The Office"
and I think that you did such a great--
- And you love Ricky Gervais.
- Uh.
Steve Carell: I see where
you're going.
Steve Carell: I've watched your show.
I know what you do.
Steve Carell: 'Oh, I got you confused.
I got you confused with the good one.'
Steve Carell: Right? 'Oh no,
I didn't mean your "Office",
I meant the good one.'
Steve Carell: And, scene.
Zach Galifianakis: All right, listen,
Steve, I'm not here to--
- I'm not going to do the
insults like usually do--
- Oh, okay.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm not going to say your
character on "Despicable Me",
Zach Galifianakis: I hear that they were going to
base the nose of the character on your
Zach Galifianakis: nose, but decided to go for
something less cartoonish--
- Okay.
- I'm not going to say that.
Zach Galifianakis: Let's just do a
straight interview.
Steve Carell: A straight interview. Okay.
Yeah, I'm down with that.
Steve Carell: That sounds great.
Zach Galifianakis: What is the thing that you're
most proud of in your career?
Steve Carell: Oh, "Evan Almighty", of course.
- That's a good movie.
- That's one I'm most proud of.
Zach Galifianakis: That's a good movie.
Steve Carell: Fuck you, fatty!
Zach Galifianakis: Steve! I've not--
Steve Carell: Just lead me right in to that,
and smack me across the face.
- It's a great movie!
- Okay.
Zach Galifianakis: Regardless of all that,
like it lost a lot of money
and all that stuff.
Zach Galifianakis: No one saw it and
the budget was way over,
Zach Galifianakis: and no one was
interested in seeing it.
Zach Galifianakis: It's a great movie.
Steve Carell: I actually brought a few
things I'd like to say to you.
Steve Carell: "G-Force"?
More like, "G-he's fat!"
Steve Carell: The only French word
you know is buffet.
Zach Galifianakis: That's not true.
I know the word, uh, croissant.
Steve Carell: I heard your last name
used to be even longer,
Steve Carell: but you ate all the other
letters of the alphabet.
Steve Carell: Zach, you look like a homeless guy
who's been to a soup kitchen
Steve Carell: that specializes
in ice cream soup.
Steve Carell: What are you doing?
Zach Galifianakis: Uh, I don't know if we
should air this one.
Steve Carell: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Zach Galifianakis: To be honest with you,
I do struggle with--
Zach Galifianakis: with the weight thing.
Steve Carell: Okay, I'm--
Zach Galifianakis: It's tough in Hollywood!
They either want you to
Zach Galifianakis: stay overweight, or they want
you to lose a bunch of weight.
Steve Carell: You're right.
You're right.
Zach Galifianakis: Now that I'm kind of in a little bit of a career
grind the Jews want me to stay in my weight,
- and it might be unhealthy.
- Okay... well.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm just like--
I don't know man,
Zach Galifianakis: you just seem so lucky.
Zach Galifianakis: No one ever makes fun
of the great Steve Carell.
Zach Galifianakis: Everybody just
loves you, and--
Steve Carell: That's not true.
Zach Galifianakis: Well, it is true.
Steve Carell: Oh, you--
there's lots of things
to make fun of.
Zach Galifianakis: Like what?
Steve Carell: Um, I'm Italian.
You can make fun of that?
Zach Galifianakis: Is Carell not
your last name?
Steve Carell: Not originally.
Zach Galifianakis: What is it?
Steve Carell: Okay. Okay.
Zach Galifianakis: Like when you go to the beach
and someone yells, "Shark. Shark,"
Zach Galifianakis: and then they just
realize that it's Steve Carell
doing the back stroke?
Steve Carell: When you go to the beach
and you swim out past the buoys
Steve Carell: do people think that
there's an island there?
- I'm not that fat, man!
- You are pretty fat--
- No, I'm not that fat!
- You're pretty fat.
Zach Galifianakis: If you were to do my like my
percentage of body fat versus your
Zach Galifianakis: percentage of how
much your nose weighs,
Zach Galifianakis: I guarantee that your nose, per capita,
weighs more than what I would.
Steve Carell: All right. Fuck you, fatso.
Zach Galifianakis: Point is, is that
I'm not that fat. Okay?
Steve Carell: [ softly ]
Zach Galifianakis: ZACH:
I'm not that fat.
[ Theme music ]