Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell

Zach Galifianakis – Hello. Welcome to, uh, another edition of, uh, “Between Two Ferns”. I’m your host Zach Galifianakis, and I’m very pleased to have one of my favorite actors, Steve Carell.

Steve Carell – Yeah, it’s a pleasure to meet you. You know, I hear the camera adds ten pounds. Looks like you’ve eaten five cameras. Here we go. Here we go.

Zach Galifianakis – Uh, I really love “The Office” and I think that you did such a great –

Steve Carell – And you love Ricky Gervais. I see where you’re going.

Zach Galifianakis – Uh.

Steve Carell - I’ve watched your show. I know what you do. ‘Oh, I got you confused. I got you confused with the good one.’ Right? ‘Oh no, I didn’t mean your “Office”, I meant the good one.’ And, scene.

Zach Galifianakis – All right, listen, Steve, I’m not here to—I’m not going to do the insults like I usually do—

Steve Carell – Oh, okay.

Zach Galifianakis – Like, I’m not going to say your character on “Despicable Me”, I hear that they were going to base the nose of the character on your nose and decided to go for something less cartoonish.

Steve Carell – Okay.

Zach Galifianakis – I’m not going to say that. Let’s just do a straight interview.

Steve Carell – A straight interview. Okay. Yeah, I’m down with that. That sounds great.

Zach Galifianakis – What is the thing that you’re most proud of in your career?

Steve Carell – Oh, “Evan Almighty”, of course.

Zach Galifianakis – That’s a good movie.

Steve Carell - That’s one I’m most proud of.

Zach Galifianakis - That’s a good movie.

Steve Carell – Fuck you, fatty!

Zach Galifianakis – Steve! I’ve not—

Steve Carell – Just lead me right in to that, and smack me across the face.

Zach Galifianakis – It’s a great movie!

Steve Carell – Okay.

Zach Galifianakis – Regardless of all that, like it lost a lot of money and all that stuff. No one saw it and the budget was way over, and no one was interested in seeing it. It’s a great movie.

Steve Carell – I actually brought a few things I’d like to say to you. “G-Force”? More like, “G—he’s fat!” The only French word you know is buffet.

Zach Galifianakis – That’s not true. I know the word, uh, croissant.

Steve Carell – I heard your last name used to be even longer, but you ate all the other letters of the alphabet. Zach, you look like a homeless guy who’s been to a soup kitchen that specializes in ice cream soup.

Steve Carell – What are you doing?

Zach Galifianakis – Uh, I don’t know if we should air this one.

Steve Carell – I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Zach Galifianakis – I mean, I do struggle with—with the weight thing.

Steve Carell – Okay, I’m—

Zach Galifianakis – It’s tough in Hollywood! They either want you to stay overweight or they want you to lose a bunch of weight.

Steve Carell – You’re right! You’re right!

Zach Galifianakis – I’m in kind of in a little bit of a career where I had to choose to stay in my weight and it might be unhealthy.

Steve Carell – Okay, well.

Zach Galifianakis – I’m just like…I don’t know man, you just seem so lucky. You—no one ever makes fun of the great Steve Carell. Everybody just loves you, and—

Steve Carell – That’s not true.

Zach Galifianakis – Well, it is true.

Steve Carell – Well, you--There’s lots of things to make fun of.

Zach Galifianakis – Like what?

Steve Carell – Um, I’m Italian. Can you make fun of that?

Zach Galifianakis – Is Carell not your last name?

Steve Carell – Not originally.

Zach Galifianakis – What is it? Pinocchio?

Steve Carell – Okay. Okay.

Zach Galifianakis – Like when you go to the beach and someone yells, “Shark! Shark!” and then they just realize that it’s Steve Carell doing the back stroke?

Steve Carell – When you go to the beach and you swim out past the buoys do people think that there’s an island there?

Zach Galifianakis – I’m not that fat, man!

Steve Carell – You are pretty fat.

Zach Galifianakis – No, I’m not that fat!

Steve Carell – You’re pretty fat.

Zach Galifianakis – If you were to do my like my percentage of body fat versus your percentage of how much your nose weighs, I guarantee that your nose, per capita, weighs more than what I would.

Steve Carell – All right. Fuck you, fatso

Zach Galifianakis – Point is, is that I’m not that fat. Okay?

Steve Carell – Okay.

Zach Galifianakis – I’m not that fat.