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Episode 9: Zach sits down with Steve Carell from "The Office" and they quite possibly discuss "Dinner for Schmucks".
Patience is overrated...
Patience is overrated...
Between Two Ferns with Steve Carell
Zach Galifianakis – Hello. Welcome to, uh, another edition of, uh,
“Between Two Ferns”. I’m your host Zach Galifianakis, and I’m very
pleased to have one of my favorite actors, Steve Carell.
Steve Carell – Yeah, it’s a pleasure to meet you. You know, I hear the
camera adds ten pounds. Looks like you’ve eaten five cameras. Here we
go. Here we go.
Zach Galifianakis – Uh, I really love “The Office” and I think that you did such a great –
Steve Carell – And you love Ricky Gervais. I see where you’re going.
Zach Galifianakis – Uh.
Steve Carell - I’ve watched your show. I know what you do. ‘Oh, I got
you confused. I got you confused with the good one.’ Right? ‘Oh no, I
didn’t mean your “Office”, I meant the good one.’ And, scene.
Zach Galifianakis – All right, listen, Steve, I’m not here to—I’m not going to do the insults like I usually do—
Steve Carell – Oh, okay.
Zach Galifianakis – Like, I’m not going to say your character on
“Despicable Me”, I hear that they were going to base the nose of the
character on your nose and decided to go for something less cartoonish.
Steve Carell – Okay.
Zach Galifianakis – I’m not going to say that. Let’s just do a straight interview.
Steve Carell – A straight interview. Okay. Yeah, I’m down with that. That sounds great.
Zach Galifianakis – What is the thing that you’re most proud of in your career?
Steve Carell – Oh, “Evan Almighty”, of course.
Zach Galifianakis – That’s a good movie.
Steve Carell - That’s one I’m most proud of.
Zach Galifianakis - That’s a good movie.
Steve Carell – Fuck you, fatty!
Zach Galifianakis – Steve! I’ve not—
Steve Carell – Just lead me right in to that, and smack me across the face.
Zach Galifianakis – It’s a great movie!
Steve Carell – Okay.
Zach Galifianakis – Regardless of all that, like it lost a lot of money
and all that stuff. No one saw it and the budget was way over, and no
one was interested in seeing it. It’s a great movie.
Steve Carell – I actually brought a few things I’d like to say to you.
“G-Force”? More like, “G—he’s fat!” The only French word you know is
buffet.
Zach Galifianakis – That’s not true. I know the word, uh, croissant.
Steve Carell – I heard your last name used to be even longer, but you
ate all the other letters of the alphabet. Zach, you look like a
homeless guy who’s been to a soup kitchen that specializes in ice cream
soup.
Steve Carell – What are you doing?
Zach Galifianakis – Uh, I don’t know if we should air this one.
Steve Carell – I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Zach Galifianakis – I mean, I do struggle with—with the weight thing.
Steve Carell – Okay, I’m—
Zach Galifianakis – It’s tough in Hollywood! They either want you to
stay overweight or they want you to lose a bunch of weight.
Steve Carell – You’re right! You’re right!
Zach Galifianakis – I’m in kind of in a little bit of a career where I
had to choose to stay in my weight and it might be unhealthy.
Steve Carell – Okay, well.
Zach Galifianakis – I’m just like…I don’t know man, you just seem so
lucky. You—no one ever makes fun of the great Steve Carell. Everybody
just loves you, and—
Steve Carell – That’s not true.
Zach Galifianakis – Well, it is true.
Steve Carell – Well, you--There’s lots of things to make fun of.
Zach Galifianakis – Like what?
Steve Carell – Um, I’m Italian. Can you make fun of that?
Zach Galifianakis – Is Carell not your last name?
Steve Carell – Not originally.
Zach Galifianakis – What is it? Pinocchio?
Steve Carell – Okay. Okay.
Zach Galifianakis – Like when you go to the beach and someone yells,
“Shark! Shark!” and then they just realize that it’s Steve Carell doing
the back stroke?
Steve Carell – When you go to the beach and you swim out past the buoys do people think that there’s an island there?
Zach Galifianakis – I’m not that fat, man!
Steve Carell – You are pretty fat.
Zach Galifianakis – No, I’m not that fat!
Steve Carell – You’re pretty fat.
Zach Galifianakis – If you were to do my like my percentage of body fat
versus your percentage of how much your nose weighs, I guarantee that
your nose, per capita, weighs more than what I would.
Steve Carell – All right. Fuck you, fatso
Zach Galifianakis – Point is, is that I’m not that fat. Okay?
Steve Carell – Okay.
Zach Galifianakis – I’m not that fat.
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