Kobe Bryant breaks his legendary silence to talk about the NBA lockout and what it will mean for him and the rest of the league.
Published July 19, 2011 670k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Writers: James Davis & Mitchell Marchand
Director/DP/Editor: Pat Bishop
Producers: Rachel Goldenberg and Anna Wenger
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Makeup: Genevieve Lamb
Snake Wrangler: Michael Darling
Thanks: Oz Rodriguez and Elliot Dickerhoof
6,553 Funny Votes
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672,461 Views
Published: July 19, 2011

[SportsCenter music]
Reporter: So Kobe, how do you
feel about the lockout?
James Davis: Uh, you know, a good time
to rest up, train with
James Davis: my trainer, Mamba Mike
over here. We've been working
James Davis: on speed and agility.
Reporter: What's your take
on the dispute between
the players and
the owners?
James Davis: I got my money. Uh, you
know, lock out, or no
James Davis: lock out I flew
in a helicopter.
James Davis: I will say this though,
people pay to see the
James Davis: players, not the owners.
I've never seen a crowd of fans
James Davis: outside the Staples Center
trying to meet Jerry Buss.
James Davis: There's no Most
Valuable Owner award.
James Davis: I think that says
a lot in itself.
Reporter: What are some of
the issues that the
players are having
with the owners?
James Davis: Uh, you know, it's just
too cold in the arena.
James Davis: That's why you have
these players wearing
James Davis: arm sleeves.
James Davis: D-Howard wears two.
James Davis: D-Rose wears thermal
knee pads.
James Davis: And D-Wade's over here
playing with scuba gear.
James Davis: And there's too many
players with the letter D.
James Davis: What about M, O, Q?
James Davis: You know, there players
out there with different names.
James Davis: Lets draft them.
James Davis: Lockout.
Reporter: What are you doing
to keep yourself busy?
James Davis: I just started filming
Space Jam 2.
James Davis: I'll be playing a Monstar,
because on the court...
James Davis: what...I'm a mother
[bleep] Monstar.
James Davis: I don't really want to
give away the end, but Michael
James Davis: Jordan dies.
James Davis: I kill him,
James Davis: because I'm a mamba
slash Monstar.
Reporter: So how are
your daughters Kobe?
James Davis: What? I mean,
they're fine.
James Davis: You guys saw LeBron
lose right? Miami lost.
James Davis: We all saw
this right?
James Davis: Dirk?
James Davis: He's a beast.
James Davis: He's like the
white mamba.
James Davis: Wouldn't you say?
James Davis: He's like you,
but like German.
James Davis: But the reason I'm here
today is because
James Davis: I want to debut
some Kobe faces.
James Davis: I don't know who's in
charge, and maybe ya'll
James Davis: should zoom on
me real quick.
James Davis: So the first Kobe face is
the pre-game warmup, tip-off,
James Davis: Kobe face.
James Davis: The last is the overtime,
game winner, you must
James Davis: be on that dope to think,
LeBron is better than
James Davis: me Kobe face.
James Davis: I held it a
little longer.
Reporter: What about the
reports of you getting an
experimental blood transfusion
surgery in Germany?
James Davis: That's absolutely,
unequivocally true.
James Davis: I did get that surgery. I'm
getting all the surgeries
James Davis: actually. The lockout means
more recovery time, so
James Davis: anybody got a hot new
surgery out there, let me know.
James Davis: I just actually got
the bionic surgery.
James Davis: I'm officially the black
Steve Austin mamba.
James Davis: Six Million Dollar
Man bitches.
James Davis: You guys want to see
how fast I am?
James Davis: Just happened.
James Davis: Run the tape back.
Show'em.
[beep]
[bionic man sound]
James Davis: Kobe face.
James Davis: Uh well, I think it's time
I get my 4th quarter LeBron
James Davis: on, and disappear
from the moment, but uh,
James Davis: I'll see you guys
next season.
James Davis: [bionic man sound]
[camera shutter]
[background chatter]
[background chatter]

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