Gay Of Thrones S6 E7 Recap: The Broken Condom

Jonathan Van Ness: Oh my God Betsy, did you see
Game of Thrones this week?
Betsy Sodaro: Um, is my favorite dance the Bartman?
[theme music]
Jonathan Van Ness: So off the top we're at this
gorgina yoga retreat, and they
Jonathan Van Ness: are doing the most girl. They're
building their gorgeous studio.
Jonathan Van Ness: They even have their Café Gratitude
buffet line going with
Jonathan Van Ness: grateful community bowls.
Betsy Sodaro: And I was so confused, because
there is no theme music and then
Betsy Sodaro: Dog the Bounty Hunter is back.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And she was like,
"Live from Westeros it's Saturday night!"
Betsy Sodaro: Betsy: With your musical
guests, Imagine Dragon,
Betsy Sodaro: and your host Ian McShane.
[cheering]
Jonathan Van Ness: And then Barefoot Contessa
finds out that Kate Middleton
Jonathan Van Ness: is a sparrow in the streets,
and a sparrow in the sheets,
Jonathan Van Ness: and he's like, "Honey, you've got that [inaudible].
Betsy Sodaro: Yeah, and she's like, "Hey dude, I'm not horny."
Congress does not require
desire from a woman's part.
Betsy Sodaro: But the good news is
Kate Middleton hasn't been drinking
Betsy Sodaro: The 700 Club Kool-Aid.
But you should leave grandmother.
-Jonathan: That was rose note was clinch.
-Ooh.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: Diva, King's Landing's
library is open, and we had
Jonathan Van Ness: Hägar and Maggie Smith reading
Vintage Mia Farrow to filth hunty.
I wonder if you're the worse
person I've ever met.
You've lost [inaudible]. It's the only
joy I can find in all this misery.
Betsy Sodaro: She went there. Ooh.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: But then Road Hard
put away soaking wet Lord.
Jonathan Van Ness: Phrase Team was playing
chicken with Sean Connery who
Jonathan Van Ness: was like, "Who even is that guy?"
Betsy Sodaro: Betsy: I don't know.
Betsy Sodaro: Probably just some
old dude they found.
Betsy Sodaro: Betsy: And then on
Bear Island Shark Tank
Betsy Sodaro: Tiny Lori Greiner is like,
I'm not investing in this.
So why should I sacrifice one more
Mormont life for someone else's war?
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: But then he'll jump
on his countess, and Lori totally
Jonathan Van Ness: promises to get them on QVC.
How many fighting
men can we expect?
.
Jonathan Van Ness: That's like when you win
the Showcase Showdown, but
Jonathan Van Ness: you find out all you
won was a dishwasher.
Betsy Sodaro: Oh my God.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then Lena Dunham
shows us that women can
Jonathan Van Ness: objectify women too.
I'm going to go fuck
the tits off this one.
Betsy Sodaro: Then she makes Theon
play the best drinking game ever.
Betsy Sodaro: The rules are when your
sister screams at you for
Betsy Sodaro: being depressed you drink.
If you're so broken, take a knife
and cut your wrists. Drink.
[gasps]
Betsy Sodaro: Maybe that's not a
great drinking game.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: Meanwhile Baby K Stew
spokes her trip home with the
Jonathan Van Ness: trivago guy and gets first class.
You want a hammock?
I want a cabin.
Betsy Sodaro: Betsy: Yeah, only to get
stabbed by the grandma from
Betsy Sodaro: My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
-Sweet girl?
-[crowd cheers]
♪ ♪
Betsy Sodaro: And then she finds herself in the
most terrifying place imaginable,
[gasping]
Betsy Sodaro: the American healthcare system.
[rock music]
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: And then Dog the
Bounty Hunter gets the creepy crawlies
Jonathan Van Ness: when the Ohms have come to
an abrupt stop at the yoga retreat,
Jonathan Van Ness: and he knows it's not
time for shavasana.
Betsy Sodaro: Betsy: I bet they all died from
doing that becker bootcamp stuff.
Jonathan Van Ness: Jonathan: You can not just
go straight into a [inaudible]
Jonathan Van Ness: without even just a little bit
of a thought of what a vinyasa is.
Jonathan Van Ness: Get it together.
Betsy Sodaro: I don't know what you're
saying, but Ian McShane.
Betsy Sodaro: did not do a good
job on hosting SNL.
♪ ♪
[studio audience cheers]
Jonathan Van Ness: Yes honey girl with no name, realness.
Betsy Sodaro: [giggles] I have a name. It's Betsy.
Betsy Sodaro: Where are...
Jonathan Van Ness: my dragons.
-Get over here you little...
-Ooh yeah!