I.F.H. MONDAY'S

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The video opens with a shot of the T.G.I. Friday’s logo.

Announcer: Everyone knows about T.G.I. Fridays. Well now there’s a new restaurant. I.F.H. Monday’s or I Fucking Hate Monday’s.

The shot cuts to logo similar to T.G.I. Friday’s that reads I.F.H. Monday’s.

Announcer: We have a hung over wait staff.

The shot cuts to Julia Wolov and Branden Williams sitting at a table, looking at menus. The shot then cuts to Nick Swardson standing by table, looking hung over.

Branden Williams (in a normal speaking voice): Can I get the crispy…

Nick Swardson: Bro, can you not fucking yell. I’m just really hung over and it was a long weekend and just stop shouting man and order like a normal person.

BRANDEN WILLIAMS and Julia Wolov stare at Nick Swardson as though he is insane.

Nick Swardson: Is this yours?

Nick Swardson picks up a glass of water from the table and drinks from it.

Nick Swardson: Oh, I hope I don’t shit my pants. So, what did you want?

Announcer: We kind of have a bar.

The shot cuts to the bar. David Spade is behind the bar in uniform with his head on the bar. Beardo walks up to the bar.

Beardo: Hey man, can I get something to drink?

Beardo raps his knuckles on the bar.

Beardo: Sir?

Announcer: We have food sometimes.

The shot cuts to Simon Rex, in uniform, standing by a table and texting while Edward Barojas looks at a menu.

Edward Barojas: I’ll have a cheeseburger.

Simon Rex: Yeah, we’re all out of that.

Edward Barojas: Um, how about the chicken nuggets.

Simon Rex: Trust me, dude, you don’t want that shit. It tastes like dukie.

Edward Barojas: Um, the ceasar salad?

Simon Rex: You got any blow?

The shot cuts back to Beardo standing at the bar, trying to get David Spade’s attention.

Beardo: Hey man, dude, are you alright?

The shot cuts back to Branden Williams and Julia Wolov at the table.

Branden Williams: Oh yeah, by the way, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. Do you guys do like a song or a…

Nick Swardson: Are you serious?

Julia Wolov: Uh-huh.

Nick Swardson: Okay, what are you five? I mean, are you five today? Happy birthday, happy birthday to the baby. Who fucking cares?

The shot cuts back to Beardo and David Spade at the bar.

Beardo: Hey man! Sir.

Beardo shakes David Spade, who jerks into a standing position and pukes onto the bar.

Beardo: Sir? Are you alright?

David Spade: What do you need? What can I do for you?

David Spade falls down behind the bar. The shot cuts back to Branden Williams and Julia Wolov sitting at the table. Nick Swardson sings will Simon Rex stands next to him giving Julia Wolov and Branden Williams the middle finger.

Nick Swardson: Happy birthday annoying stupid chic and gay douchebag. Happy suck it, fuck you.

Nick Swardson throws a plate on the table that has shit on it and Simon Rex puts his cigarette into the shit like a candle.

Branden Williams: Is that shit?

David Spade comes over to the table and promptly pukes onto the plate with the shit on it.

David Spade: Hap…

David Spade, Nick Swardson and Simon Rex all walk away from the table.

The shot cuts to a plate with chicken and salad on it that has pink fluid being dumped onto it like dressing.

Announcer: And all new for crappy hour, we’ve got our Pepto Bismol chicken.

The words Pepto Bismol chicken appear over the food. The shot then cuts to the I.F.H. Monday’s logo.

Announcer: I fucking hate Monday’s.