God has his own video podcast and today He has Subway pedophile Jared Fogle as his guest.

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August 28, 2015
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Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Good God, with God.
I'm God, and this is my show.
Today's show is brought to
you by trees. Trees, I made them.
They're beautiful.
Check them out.
Today's guest is Jared Fogle of, you know,
the Subway sandwich empire.
Jared, what's going on there?
What happened?
You know, just living my life I guess.
Living your life? Jared, you're
having sex with little girls--
Well, they weren't little girls.
You said, the younger the better Jared.
You set goals for yourself, and
you don't always--
Goals? Jared come on.
Goals.
Do you feel bad for what you did?
No. No, I like remembering it.
Stop remembering, alright.
Stop it, okay?
You can't remembering something.
Don't remember in my studio, okay?
Don't you want to take this time
to say, you're sorry?
Sorry for what?
S-sorry for what!?
I mean you pleaded guilty.
So you know you're guilty.
If you saw me eat a sandwich
and then you were like,
"Did you eat that sandwich?"
I would say yes, I'm guilty of
eating a sandwich.
Stop using sandwiches as a metaphor
for little girls.
You're going to ruin sandwiches
for everybody okay?
You are going to jail for a long time.
Yes.
You don't want to go to jail.
I'd rather keep doing what I
was doing. I was on a good
run there for a while--
No, don't call it a good run.
Don't call it a good run.
Not to me.
Would you do it again if you could?
Yes.
You said that so fast.
Jared, you know you're going to hell right?
I just want you know that.
I-I am the ultimate caller on that,
and you're going to hell.
I guess I'm not to worried about that.
You're not worried about
eternal damnation?
You know what they do to
pedophiles down there?
Bugs are going to be crawling in
your anus. It's awful.
It's awful for the pedophiles
down there.
It's hot--
When you made sandwiches, did you
know that it would lead to
what I did?
No. No.
I made sandwiches because they're delicious.
If you could do it again
would you unmake sandwiches?
Sandwiches are not the reason
that you are what you are, alright?
So, you think sandwiches are
more important than the
girls that were exploited by--
Fine. No sandwiches.
I take back sandwiches to stop
you from what you did.
I've done more.
There are so many delicious
things that you don't know about,
because I took them away.
Because they ended up, and someone
getting rich,
and becoming a pedophile?
Yes, yes, exactly.
This is not the first time.
What else have you gotten rid of?
Oh man, there was this one
thing. It was like a Pop-Tart
with peanut butter, and
chocolate on it.
It was s'mores, and then
you put another Pop-Tart
on top of it. It was called a
cazudo.
It was huge.
It sounds like a sandwich.
It doesn't matter, because it's
gone now, and so are
sandwiches, alright.
They're gone, because of you.
How do you feel for ruining
sandwiches for everybody Jared?
I don't like black girls.
Alright, that's all the time
we have for Good God, with God.
This has been my guest Jared Fogle.
Jared, you're disgusting in
every way possible, and
I hope you have a terrible time
in hell, and prison.
This episode has been brought to you by trees.
Trees are beautiful.
I made them.
Check them out.
They give you shade--
I love trees.
Oh God.
- I love sitting in trees.
- No.
I fucked a tree.
Oh no.

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