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Our old pal, Colonel Sanders is back with a message for Chick-Fil-A and chicken lovers that is totally honest and not at all panderous.
Published August 01, 2012 3.2m views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring John Goodman
Featuring Mike Rose, Tony Cavalero, Tony Rodriguez
Written and Directed by Nick Corirossi
Produced by Ally Hord
DP Brian Lane
2nd AC Seth Craven
Gaffer David Cronin
Grips Mike Rousselet
Production Designer Martin Vallejo
Art Director Candy Lopez
HMU Chris Mills
Wardrobe Tala Bahktar
Sound Steve Pallow for BoTown
Editor Andy Maxwell

[music]
John Goodman: Why, hello there.
It's me, the Colonel.
John Goodman: It don't take a bony-fide
Einstein genius to know
John Goodman: that I'm an
oldly-fashioned sort.
John Goodman: But, when it comes to the
subjamacation of marriage
John Goodman: rights, well, I reckon I'm
a bit more progressive
John Goodman: than my pals down at
Chick-Fil-A.
John Goodman: Yep! Let it be known that
Colonel Sanders loves the gays.
John Goodman: Hell, I might
even be gay!
Tony Rodriguez: Hey, Colonel, dinner's
almost ready.
John Goodman: Be right there,
Omarion! See?
[music]
John Goodman: Ay! I was just tapping a
toe to my favorite Bette
John Goodman: Midler album.
John Goodman: Thighs and Whispers.
John Goodman: I know what you're thinking
as you lie there
John Goodman: snuggling up with your bear.
John Goodman: You're thinking "How do I
know you're not just a
John Goodman: gibbering this jab to win
more of my gay business?"
John Goodman: Well, you don't! But, what
you should know is that I
John Goodman: love all gay people. Always.
And, we're open on Sundays.
John Goodman: That's right! The only
church the Colonel attends
John Goodman: on Sunday is the
church of chicken.
John Goodman: Not to be confused with
Church's Chicken who I
John Goodman: hear, unlike myself,
hate gays!
John Goodman: We all know that when it
comes to the chicken of
John Goodman: America, I prefer the
white meat to the dark.
John Goodman: But, never in my one
hundred and forty years on
John Goodman: this earth have I ever
harmed a gay.
John Goodman: Hell, I prefer to see the
world the way my hormone-
John Goodman: bloated, antibiotically-
injected chickens do.
John Goodman: Without gender.
Or beaks. Or a butt hole.
John Goodman: Once again we're even
issuing a table dance
John Goodman: mandate at participating
locations.
John Goodman: Only the pocket squares of
a gentleman can be used as
John Goodman: a banana hammock.
John Goodman: [laughing]
John Goodman: Hell, I don't actually
give a shit.
John Goodman: Gay or not, you're all
just a bunch of big old
John Goodman: money mouths.
John Goodman: Walking around talking
and eating.
[Microphone Feedback]
John Goodman: But, if you have to pick
one chicken chain, why not
John Goodman: pick us?
John Goodman: I know their service is
better, but, we got those bowls.
[music]
John Goodman: ♪ If you want the
gayest chicken, ♪
John Goodman: ♪ you ha-ave to
vi-i-sit me! ♪
John Goodman: [laughing]

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