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This overprivlige bich thank she so hawt. I relly cant stan this stoop bich. Aint she... more »
Published October 27, 2010 2k views More Info »
This here's uhh, umm...
Welcome back to How I Seize It.
I'm your host, you know that,
Loretta Jenkins.
Y'all knowed that I hate ignorant bitches.
I seem to attract them like flies.
Princess Paris Hilton-
Coke-Whore Paris Hilton-
Eh, eh, eh...
Y'all heard of this twitknit, right?
If there was ever supposed to be
a poster child for abortion,
just slap this bitch's
scrunched-up mug on the cover.
Now why can't develop a technology
that let's you know how retarded
a not-really-retarded bitch is
gonna turn out to be?
I'd have jerked that bitch out with a crowbar.
First off, Miss Paris...
You did not make up the words 'That's Hot!'
And I know all my faggot drankin'
buddies out there is goin',
"Hell to the yeah, Loretta!"
Let me tell you,
we been saying, "That's Hot!"
since before you was a glitter in your daddy's eye.
We knowed that before you was even borned,
and we been sayin' it since before you was borned.
So quit tellin' everybody you got a trademark about
"That's Hot!"
cause it ain't!
She, she-
She's be all like,
"People'd be so surprise to find out how smart I am."
Oh yeah, Paris.
You a real fuckin' genius.
I think she only got a GED
and she probably can't even spell that.
I bet she can spell STD!
I wonder why they name that floral place 'STD.'
I mean what you gonna do?
"Here's some begonias...
Sorry I gave you the gonhorrea."
Speakin' of gonhorrea...
What I would like to do is
I would love to see a cop
keep a straight face while they's arrestin' Paris
and they puttin' the handcuffs on he
and she's like goin',
"That ain't my purse! Where am I?"
"Who's that homeless guy?"
It ought to be legal to just walk up
and kick that bitch in the neck.
I hate chihuahuas.
We got our own 'Paris Hilton' right here
in the Tin Dreams Trailer Park,
only her name is 'Tapioca,'
and it ain't no Hilton.
It's more like a roach-Motel 6.
Goddang, I hate that spread-eagled heifer.
She probably got to use Neosporin for lube!
I wish I could charge her for her gentleman callers,
but my lease is wrote up to where
I can't charge her unless
they stay for over a week
and most of hers ain't even there but an hour,
mostly lesser than that!
That ain't right!
And then this piece of gold trash-
I think I just rented to some Perezes...
Anyways, she done got the brass balls
of a bald-ass monkey
to be postin' on celebrities
and drawin' dicks on they faces
and all I can say is like,
"Who are YOU to talk?"
I done seen clips of that
nasty-ass sex tape of yours.
Who are you to talk shit about anybody anyway?
If I know anything about anything,
it's 'dumb sluts.'
She supposed to got all this money
and she ain't got the sense God give he
to fix that daggo lazy eye.
Y'all evern notice how sometimes it kinda
drift off to the side-
Like in the Scooby Doo,
when them paintings
and they eyes go like
from one side to the other.
Her eye does that.
Ain't y'all notice that?
And it must be heretical,
cause her labia crooked too.
It like stick out
over to the side like,
"Hey! I'm a crooked pussy!"
I don't understand whores.
What the hell did she ever do?
I mean did she do something important
that I ain't never heard of?
What did you do?
Hell, she famous for standin' around lookin' stoop...
Sayin' stoop stuff...
She is personification non grata of stoop.
So anyway, Paris...
I knowed you out there watchin'.
So why don't you just buy yourself some panties
and cover up that snaggletwat.
Don't nobody wanna see it.
"I gotta crooked pussy!"
And you know you invincible,
so you just go ahead
and take all the drugs you want.
Chase it with some Windex,
you whore of babylon!
Damn whores...

That's How I Seize It.
Hey, y'all keep it real.