So Fat, He Can't See His Dick Rhyme

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I must lose five pounds and I must lose it quick,

Cause the rolls of my fat block the view of my dick.

This weight, it must go. My pants don’t fit Prope

And my wife screams in pain as I’m laying Atop he

I get the picture, no need to be chatty.

Don’t need your life story, you jiggling Fatty

I hear this so often as a Dietician

Helping tubbies drop weight is my life’s only mission

I’ve heard this process is Incredibly Heinous

With clamps on my stomach and tubes up my Anus.

We don’t need a drastic, invasive Stomach pump

To Stop you from being a corpulent Tub-a-lump

It’s a simple procedure to contract that Belly in

Though my methods may seem to be quite Machiavellian

We’ll replace the bread and French fried Potatoes

With limited portions That Probably blow

But we’ll Trick your brain into thinking it’s fed

With sugarless bubble gum chewing instead.

Sugar-free bubble gum isn’t the Answe

That aspartame shit causes Fast-growing cance

And cancer’s a wonderful pants size Consumer.

You’ll surely drop weight when you’re riddled with tumors

Uhhh. Thanks for your time and suggested Improvements

But I’ll stick with my fat and my Infrequent Bowel movements.