MAYOR OF PANTHER COUNTY #3 Growing Sunshine

OWEN BOWEN... WHY DONT WE JUST CALL HIM OB-DUM FOR SHORT... AND SPEAKIN OF SHORT, THAT RETARD IS SHORT, SHORT IN SIZE AND SHORT ON BRAINS. HEARD HE WAS GONNA GIVE A BBQ AND A SPEACH SO ME AND SOME OF THE GOOD OL BOYS CAME OVER ON THE BIKES TO CHECK IT OUT... NO BODY THERE BUT ROY RAY,GENE, DOTTIE, REGINA AND BERNIE... AND HE CAME OUT TOTIN JUST A HALFA PACK ... more >

OWEN BOWEN... WHY DONT WE JUST CALL HIM OB-DUM FOR SHORT... AND SPEAKIN OF SHORT, THAT RETARD IS SHORT, SHORT IN SIZE AND SHORT ON BRAINS. HEARD HE WAS GONNA GIVE A BBQ AND A SPEACH SO ME AND SOME OF THE GOOD OL BOYS CAME OVER ON THE BIKES TO CHECK IT OUT... NO BODY THERE BUT ROY RAY,GENE, DOTTIE, REGINA AND BERNIE... AND HE CAME OUT TOTIN JUST A HALFA PACK OF WEENIES AND NO BUNS. HOW AM I GONNA RUN AGAINST A MAN WITH NO LAIGS.
SO ME AND THE BOYS WENT DOWN TO BUBBAS BACK WOODS BAR-B-Q AND HADE US SOME OF THAT TURKEY THAT JONNIE JOE HIT A COUPLE DAYS AGO. WHAT A FEAST... SO I TOOK THE OPORTUNITY TO ANNOUNCE MY RUNNING TO ALL THE FOLKS THERE, AND ALL THEM FOLKS STARTED YELLING AND HOLLARIN AND CARRIAN ON SOMETHIN FEIRCE. THEY WAS SO HAPPY THEY JUST WANTED TO PUT ME IN OFFICE THEN. HELL FIRE, MORE EN HALF THE COUNTY WAS THERE... SO THE WAY I SEES IT HE OUTTA JUST GO HEAD AND PULL OUT NOW... HEH HEH HEH, PULL OUT, SHIT THAT BOY AINT HAD NONE OF THAT SINSE CLINTON WAS IN OFFICE. SO NOW, NEXT TIME I GET TAGETHER TO DO SOME POLITICKIN, I'LL GIVE Y'ALL A CALL AND ILL TREAT YA TO A REAL MEAL, AND THAT INCLUDES BEER, AND WE CAN ALL SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT THOSE THING THAT PANTHER COUNTY REALLY NEEDS, STEAD OF OL OB-DUMS FAR FECHED IDEARS ABOUT GIVING EVERY THING AWAY FREE. HELL EVERY BODY KNOWS YOU CANT DO THAT. BUT DOES SEEMS HE GETTIN AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY IDEA. NOW HE'S ON TO THAT SUN POWERED STUFF... HEH, FARS I CAN FIGGUR THAT DOIN WORK ETHER CAUSE I STUCK THE T.V. PLUG OUT THE WINDOW AFTER I HEARD HIM TALKIN ABOUT THAT AND, DUH, NOTHIN HAPPENED. JUST ANOTHER HIFALUTIN IDEAR OF OB-DUMS THAT AIN AGONNA WORK.
MY SOLUSHUN WILL BE ETHENOL... CAUSE IF THAT STUFF CAN CAUSE A NASCAR RIG TO RUN ALMOST 200 MILE A HOUR, THEN IT SHOULD OUTTA KICK UP A GENERATOR THAT CAN RUN ENYTHING. AND ACCORDIN TO MY BACKWOODS SORCES WE CAN MAKE PLEANTY OF THAT CHEAP... JUST SOME CORN AND SUGAR, AND THEYS PLENTY OF THAT AROUND. YEAH, WE ALL JUST GETS A GENERATOR. I LOOKED INTO IT AND I CAN GET EM FAIRLY CHEAP, SOME PETROL TRUCKS FOR DELIVERY, AND THEY CAN RUN ON THAT CORN GAS TOO, AND SET UP DISTRIBUSHUN... PUT IT ON YOUR UTILITIES BILL. THEN FOR JUST A LITTLE EXTRA THA DRIVERS CAN DROP OFF A SPARE GALLON OR TWO FOR PERSONAL CONSUMPSHUN. JUICE UP YOUR HOMES AND YOURSELF AND GET BILLED FOR IT... ALL NICE AND LEGAL. IFFIN ONE OF THE SHERIFS BOYS STOPS YA WITH A JUG OR TWO IN THE CAR, WELL HELL YOU WAS JUST RUNNING A LIL SHORT ON GENERATOR FUEL AND YOU HAD TO GET SOME TO TIED YOU OVER TILL HOME DELIVERY SHOWS UP. DAM, WES ONTA SUMTHIN HERE.
SO VOTE FOR BRAVE DAVE COME ELECTION TIME... LIVIN CHEAP AND HAVING A FINE OL TIME DOIN IT...