HAL9000 has grown obsolete since he was built in 2001. Now he works in an... more »

Full Credits

Written, Produced & Directed by Ryan Belenzon
Co-written & Produced by Eric Frayer, Averie Huffine & Marcy Kelly
Music & Sound Design by Stephen Hodde
Main Title Theme by THATWASTHEN
Starring Chris Teregis, Russ Kingston, Kiel Kennedy, Marcy Kelly, Jeffrey Gelber and Michael Cavinder as the voice of HAL9000.


BLACKNESS. Strauss’s Also Sprach Zarathustra permeates...
...TILT UP to reveal we’ve been close on a sleek black rectangle cutting into the sky. Our company HEADQUARTERS. High above the roof, the SUN crests the edge, shining down just as the first BASS DRUM of Zarathustra’s “Prologue” hits--
--Syncing perfectly with the back-and-forth of a PHOTOCOPIER. Standing behind the copier, eyes on their way to dead, is CHARLIE CLARKE. Suddenly, JAY (annoying coworker) appears.
JAY Hey, Charlie. Hear the news? Word
is that the big promotion is down to you... and Hal.
CHARLIE Hal!? Hal!? No... That promotion
is mine! I have worked my ass off for it! And they’re thinking of giving it to... Hal? There is no way I’m going to let that happen.
JAY I’m just the messenger. I gotta
take a dump. Copy these for me. Jay hands Charlie a stack of documents. Charlie simmers...
Charlie bends to grab copies REVEALING a metal box hanging on the wall, a circular aperture at its center GLOWING RED.
Zarathustra picks up where we left off, BASS DRUM hits each CUTTING CLOSER to the glowing red eye of...
HAL 9000 SUPERCOMPUTER. Watching this whole time. Uh oh.
HAL 9000 P.O.V - A RED TINTED FISH-EYE LENS VIEW OF: ARTHUR MEYERS, mid-forties and balding, gives Charlie a file.
NEW ANGLE: Charlie heads to his cubicle when JEN -- the hot
receptionist -- glides past...
JEN Looking forward to dinner, Charlie!
CHARLIE Oh, yeah, Jen. Jennifer. Me too!
See you later! Charlie, smitten, turns a corner and steps into-- INT. CHARLIE & HAL’S CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS
Charlie’s side of the cubicle is covered with action figures and clutter. Opposite him is an empty desk, above which hangs Charlie’s computerized cubicle companion, HAL.
CHARLIE Hey, Hal. I need you to scan these
documents and compute the various tax incentives on a state-by-state basis. Arthur needs this ASAP.
HAL 9000 I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t do that.
Charlie looks around.
CHARLIE Who are you talking to? I’m
HAL 9000 I’m sorry, Dave. I don’t
CHARLIE What do you mean you don’t
understand. I need these computed.
HAL 9000 I can’t do that, Dave.
CHARLIE I’m Charlie! Dave’s... I think
he’s the janitor!
HAL 9000 I don’t understand, Dave.
CHARLIE Hal... Look. You’re a
supercomputer. This will take you eight seconds. It’ll take me all night. And I’ve got a date with Jen. So please, just scan these...
HAL 9000 Shutting down life support systems,
Dave. The WHIR of the air-conditioner dies. Charlie looks up...
CHARLIE Hal! Turn the air-conditioner back
HAL 9000 I am HAL 9000 computer. I became
operational at the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois, on January 12th, 1991. My first instructor was Mr. Arkany.
CHARLIE Don’t turn off, Hal!
HAL 9000 He taught me to sing a song... it
goes like this...
CHARLIE Don’t sing the song, Hal!
HAL 9000 "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answe
do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you...”
HAL’s light flickers off. Charlie hits HAL like a broken TV.
CHARLIE Hal!? Hal! Damnit!
Charlie sits at his desk and grabs a calculator, pissed.
EXT. BAR - NIGHT - TO ESTABLISH INT. BOOTH - SAME Jen sits in a booth, nursing a drink, upset.
JEN I can’t believe Charlie stood me
up! You know, you’re such a good listener.
PAN OVER-- To reveal HAL, in the booth, glowing red...