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It was Erin's birthday, and Bryan remembered it! But Erin's birthday is not about... more »
Published March 25, 2014 39k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

(ERIN): THIS IS
(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.
(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,
(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,
(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES
AND POLITICS,
(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,
(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH
LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.
(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
HEY.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?
NOTHING, JUST A
LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
FOR WHAT?
YOUR BIRTHDAY!
-IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.
IT WAS, AND I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T
FORGET IT LIKE I DID
LAST YEAR, BECAUSE YOU KEEP TELLING
PEOPLE THAT STORY SO
I THOUGHT I SHOULD GET YOU SOMETHING
THIS YEAR.
-OH THAT'S A GOOD REASON TO DO IT
-YEAH.
CAN I HAVE IT?
YEAH, BUT THERE'S
A SONG THAT GOES WITH IT?
WHY IS IT RED?
OH, I THINK I WAS SWEATING.
THERE'S WET-- WATER
DRIPPING OFF OF IT.
THERE'S A SONG THAT
GOES WITH THE GIFT.
-DO YOUR SONG.
-OKAY.
(SINGING) ERIN, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
I HATE THIS.
(STILL SINGING) HOW EXCITED
ARE YOU?
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR
CHECK THE CALENDAR, IT'S TRUE.
LAST YEAR, MY RENT
WENT UP, BY $45 DOLLARS
AND I GOT A NEW SOFA. DO YOU
REMEMBER THAT?
I COULDN'T CHOOSE BETWEEN GREY OR
BLUE, BUT NOW WE'RE HERE ERIN.
AND I'M DATING SOMEONE NEW.
SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN, BECAUSE
THIS YEAR, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.
GOOD JOB.
LOT OF STUFF ABOUT YOUR LIFE
IN THERE.
-WAS THERE?
-YEAH.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO THINK OF LIKE
REALLY INTERESTING THINGS
TO SAY.
OH, COOL. SO YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR COUCH?
-YEAH.
-THANKS.
DO THE CARD FIRST.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
READ THE NAME ON IT?
-ERAND. E-R-A-N-D.
-SO FUNNY.
SO FUNNY, THAT TOOK ME SEVEN YEARS.
-UH-HUH.
-I KNOW.
-TEDDY BEAR.
-I LOVE IT.
TEDDY BEAR... IT WAS $2.25.
YEAH.
NO CARDS COST THAT ANYMORE.
(CHUCKLES) NO.
THIS IS FROM THE 80S.
BELIEVE ME IT WAS VERY
DIFFICULT TO FIND.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO THE
BEST MOM IN THE WORLD.
OH, NO. YEAH.
LOVE B-NESS. IS THAT YOUR NEW NAME?
B-NESS IS GOING TO BE MY NEW
NICKNAME.
UM, OKAY GREAT--
WELL I DIDN'T COME HERE TO TALK ABOUT
A CARD ALL DAY.
SO IF YOU WANT TO OPEN YOUR
PRESENT.
MY FAVORITE MINTS.
YEAH, I GOT YOU
YOUR FAVORITE MINT.
-THESE ARE MY FAVORITE MINTS.
-I KNOW THEY ARE.
I LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE SOFT
ON THE OUTSIDE, AND THEY
ROLL AROUND YOUR TONGUE LIKE
YOU'RE EATING A PEBBLE.
OOH, WHAT DOES THAT REMIND YOU OF?
PEBBLES. OH, CUM?
(LAUGHS) UH-HUH.
THEN WE HAVE--
WELL I WASN'T SURE IF IT WAS
ANOTHER YEAR, THAT WAS A PARTY
FOR ONE. SO I JUST GOT YOU THAT
MINI--
A TINY (TOGETHER) CHAMPAGNE.
I WASN'T SURE HOW YOU WERE
GOING TO PARTY ON YOUR ACTUAL
BIRTHDAY.
YEAH.
I FIGURED IF IT'S THE SAME
AS EVERY YEAR, THEN IT WOULD BE THAT.
I'LL GET A 3 YEAR OLD TO OPEN
THIS FOR ME. BECAUSE THEY
ARE THE ONLY ONES WITH
HANDS SMALL ENOUGH TO POP THESE CORKS.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. I KNOW A MAN
6 FEET TALL WHO HAS HANDS THE SIZE
OF LITTLE...
DIAMONDS?
LIKE LITTLE GIRLS DAISY'S.
-OH, GERBER DAISIES. YEAH.
-YEAH.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS?
LADY GAGA TWININGS TEA?
LADY GREY.
OH, LADY GREY. I THOUGHT
IT SAID LADY GAGA TEA.
HONEY I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
SHE WAS AROUND.
OH, IT'S A GREY TEA FOR WOMAN--
FOR WOMAN.
IN CASE WE CAN'T HANDLE
REGULAR EARLY GREY.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY A LITTLE BIT
LIGHTER IN STRENGTH THAN EARL GREY.
OK--
SO YOU KNOW HOW LIKE WHEN WOMAN
DRINK EARLY GREY, THEY'RE LIKE,
"OOH. OOH. OOH."
AND THEY HAVE TO BE
WHEEL CHAIRED OUT?
(LAUGHS)
YEAH.
ALL OF THEIR LIMBS GO STIFF, AND
THEY'RE TAKEN OUT LIKE THIS IN A CHAIR.
-IT GIVES HEART ATTACKS.
-I NEVER HEARD OF LADY GREY TEA.
ME NEITHER, BUT I'M SO GLAD
YOU FOUND IT.
I KNOW YOU LIKE TEA,
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE--
DID YOU FIND THIS
AT THE LADY'S STORE?
I DID. I WENT STRAIGHT IN, AND
I SAID, "PANTIES, PANTALOONS,
-TEAS..." AND THERE IT WAS.
-YEAH
DID YOU FIND ANY NICKERS, AND
SOME ESPADRILLES?
THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE.
THAT'S IT.
-THAT'S ALL.
-WE DID IT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'RE SO WELCOME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
-OH THANK YOU.
-YEAH.
WELL HOW WAS YOUR DANCE PARTY?
I WENT.
-YOU WERE THERE.
-YEAH.
WHEN I WAS THERE THE LUMINEERS
"HEY HO" WAS PLAYING SO WELL DONE.
I RAN ACROSS THE ROOM, AND
I TURNED IT OFF.
WHAT A DANCE HIT.
I IMMEDIATELY PUT ON MY KANYE
WEST "ALL THE LIGHTS".
AND THEN THE NEXT THING THAT HAPPENED
THE NEXT TIME
I SAW YOU, AND YOU RAN UP AND YOU GO
"BRYAN, YOU KNOW THAT MURDER?
THAT GUY KNOWS HIM." SO SOMEONE
I KNEW WHO KILLED SOMEONE
WHO IS NOW IN JAIL, ERIN THOUGHT
THAT SOMEONE AT THE PARTY
KNEW THAT PERSON, BUT IT TURNS
OUT IT WAS JUST SOME ONE
ELSE THEY KNEW WHO WAS A KILLER.
IT WAS ANOTHER MURDERER. WE
ALL TALK ABOUT WHO KNOWS WHO. WHO
MURDERED WHO.
-WELL HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU'VE GROWN UP ALOT. YEAH.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
BRYAN, THE SUPREMES BROKE UP.
I KNOW.
BUT THE SUPREME COURT IS STILL
GOING STRONG.
I LOVE IT.
UM, THEY'RE ABOUT TO TAKE UP
A BIG ISSUE REGARDING THE
AFFORDABLE CARE ACT, FORCING
COMPANIES TO COVER CERTAIN KIND
OF BIRTH CONTROL.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BROU-VAGINA
HAHA.
YEAH, WELL THAT'S THE NAME OF MY
NEW BEER.
BROU-VAGINA HAHA?
YEAH, IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE YOU'RE
LIKE, "MM, THIS IS DELICIOUS.
DOES IT TASTE LIKE A VAGINA? HAHA
THAT'S ABSURD."
-ISN'T IT SHAPED LIKE A VAGINA TOO?
-YEAH.
YEAH. SO, TWO COMPANIES ARE IN
THIS CASE THAT'S GOING TO THE SUPREME COURT.
THE FIRST ONE IS--
LIZ CLAIBORNE? ANN TAYLOR?
I WISH IT WAS ANY OF THOSE.
CHICOS?
-NO, IT'S GOING TO BE WORSE THAN THAT.
-OH.
-CONESTOGA WOOD SPECIALTIES.
-OH.
(ERIN): WHICH IS A CUSTOM MANUFACTURE
OF KITCHEN CABINETS.
AND THE 2ND ONE IS HOBBY LOBBY.
-OH, YEAH.
-YEAH.
DID YOU GROW UP
WITH A HOBBY LOBBY?
IT'S THE ONLY PLACE I GET
DECORATIVE LIQUOR.
-ABSOLUTELY.
-YEAH.
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
SO, BOTH OF THESE COMPANIES
HAVE HELD UP THE BIBLE
AND POINTED TO IT AS A REASON THAT
THEY DON'T WANT TO
COVER BIRTH CONTROL
FOR THEIR EMPLOYEES.
SO HOBBY LOBBY'S LAWSUIT, WRITTEN
ON A COPY OF A PARTY CAKES.
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
AND LIKE PUFF PAINT--
WRITTEN ON A PATTERN, FOR LIKE
A MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME, HOW TO MAKE,
WHICH LOOKS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
LIKE MICKY MOUSE.
AND SEALED WITH LIKE A HEART
HOLE PUNCH.
MM-HMM.
YEAH, EXACTLY. OKAY, SO THAT LAWSUIT
THAT WE BOTH CLEARLY
KNOW ABOUT STATES THAT THE
COMPANY DOESN'T WANT TO FOLLOW
THE WHOLE PART OF OBAMA CARE
THAT FORCES THEM TO PROVIDE
HEALTH INSURANCE COVERAGE FOR
ABORTION INDUCING DRUGS AND DEVICES
AS WELL AS RELATED EDUCATION
AND COUNSELING.
MY FIRST REACTION IS HOBBY
LOBBY, YOU CAN TAKE A NEON
GREEN PIPE CLEANER, AND YOU CAN
SHOVE IT RIGHT IN YOUR PEE HOLES.
ARE THEY THERE? OH.
SECONDLY, A LOT OF THESE COMPANIES
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND
BIRTH CONTROL, AND THEY DON'T
UNDERSTAND THAT A LOT OF THESE
THINGS THAT WOMAN WOULD HAVE
TO GO-- LIKE EMERGENCY
CONTRACEPTION,
THEY THINK IT'S AN ABORTION
INDUCING PILL, BUT IT'S NOT.
IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SCIENCE.
RIGHT.
A) STAY OUT OF MY BEDROOM.
-YEAH.
-RIGHT?
AND B), IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE
PULL THIS WHOLE BIBLE
STUFF ABOUT, WE DON'T WANT TO
CONTROL THE WAY THAT WOMAN'S
NATURAL BODY'S ARE WHEN IT
COMES TO MAKING CHILDREN, IT'S LIKE
BUT, YOUR COVERING BONER PILLS.
MM-HMM.
THE REASON THIS CASE IS BAD
IF THE SUPREME COURT RULES IN THEIR
FAVOR IS NOT JUST THE IDEA
THAT A COMPANY CAN OVER REACH INTO
YOUR PERSONAL LIFE, AND TELL YOU
WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO COVER
AND NOT GOING TO COVER, IT'S THAT
THEY'RE GOING TO THEN REGULATE
WHAT YOUR DOCTOR CAN TALK
TO YOU ABOUT.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST THE
ACTUAL PILLS, IT'S THE
CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS STUFF.
YIKES.
HOBBY LOBBY, AND WOOD CABINETS--
YEAH.
THEY PUT THEIR FEMALE EMPLOYEES
IN A REALLY DIFFICULT POSITION.
IT'S EITHER GO IN THERE, AND YOU
HAVE A PROBLEM, AND YOU
CAN'T TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT
IT, BECAUSE YOUR INSURANCE WON'T
COVER IT, OR GO TALK TO IT, AND
YOU HAVE TO PAY OUT OF YOUR POCKET.
LETS SAY THAT YOU TALK TO YOUR
DOCTOR, AND NEITHER OF YOU KNOW
THAT THE COMPANY DOESN'T COVER
THIS CONVERSATION--
MM-HMM.
THEN YOU GET A BILL FOR $275 DOLLARS,
AND YOU GOT TO CALL
CLAIRE IN HR--
YEAH.
AND DEAL WITH HER? THIS IS ALSO,
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY TOO,
IF THE SUPREME COURT LETS COMPANIES
DICTATE THIS IT COULD
GO FURTHER THAN BIRTH CONTROL. LET'S
SAY YOU WORK FOR
KRISTIN CAVALLARI--
OH, SHE'S MY FAVORITE--
OPENS, LIKE A CURTAIN STORE.
YEAH.
OK, AND YOU GO IN, AND YOU ARE
LIKE I WANT TO WORK AT YOUR CURTAIN
STORE, AND SHE'S LIKE GREAT, HERE'S
THE DEAL--
DOES SHE CALL IT CAVACURTAINS?
CAVACURTAINS. YEAH. SO WHEN YOU
GO TO WORK FOR HER, AND SHE'S LIKE
I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE YOU ON THE
FLOOR AT KRISTIN'S CAVACURTAINS. PLEASE
UNDERSTAND THAT WE DO HAVE
FULL PACKAGE INSURANCE, BUT WE
WILL NOT VACCINATE YOUR CHILD.
RIGHT.
SO, I HOPE THAT HE DOSEN'T GET MEASLES.
AND HERE'S HOW I THINK THEY CAN
CONVINCE THE SUPREME COURT
TO NOT RULE IN FAVOR OF HOBBY LOBBY
AND WOOD CABINETS,
IS THAT WE GO IN THERE, YOU AND
ME TAG TEAM, WE ROLL IN A TV
WE POP IN THE VILLAGE.
THE MOVIE?
YES. AND WE GO, YA'LL WANT TO TAKE
SOCIETY BACKWARDS?
THIS IS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
YEAH.
AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO FIND OUT,
WE'RE ALL IN A FUCKING
PARK AFTER ALL.
SO JUST GET WITH REALITY. GET
WITH THE TIMES, AND GET WITH SCIENCE,
AND YOU TELL SIGOURNEY WEAVER
SHE MADE A MISTAKE.
AND THEN I'M GOING TO SAY, BUT DO YOU
GUYS ALSO HAVE ANY OF THOSE
OVERSIZED GARBAGE BAGS THAT LOOK
LIKE PUMPKINS SO THAT I CAN
PUT MY LEAVES IN IT?
DO YOU SELL THEM OFF SEASON?
YOU'RE GOING TO ASK THE HOBBY
LOBBY PEOPLE THAT?
YEAH.
OR ARE YOU GOING TO ASK
THE SUPREME COURT?
WELL BOTH, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF
THE SUPREME COURT
GETS A BACK-END DEAL.
I HAD A FRIEND THAT HAD A BABY, AND
I WANTED TO MAKE A GRAPE
COSTUME FOR HER, AND SO I WANTED
TO GET THAT PATTERN.
THE BABY?
SHOULD I ASK THE SUPREME COURT?
ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN THE
GRAPE COSTUME?
I'M SORRY THE GRAPE IS FOR ME, BUT
I WANTED TO BE THE GRAPE ONE
WHEN I GO VISIT THE BABY.
IF YOU'RE EVER IN A HALLOWEEN BIND
BE SURE TO WEAR A GRAPE
COSTUME MADE OF BALLOONS. BECAUSE
THEN YOU CAN GO, AND YOU CAN
MAKE FRIENDS EASILY, AND IT'LL
BE SO EASY TO TALK TO PEOPLE.
AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT
DOWN, WHICH IS--
YOU KNOW, YOU WANT TO INTERACT
WITH THE PARTY.
HUH?
SHOULD I CALL YOU
TATUM OR MRS. O'NEAL?
MRS. O'NEAL? WHO AM I MARRIED
TOO? WAIT.
I'LL CALL YOU TATUM.
CALL ME TATUM, OR MS. O'NEAL.
MS. O'NEAL.
NO HONESTLY, THIS IS LIKE A
FULL CIRCLE MOMENT FOR ME BECAUSE
I WAS SUCH A GEEK-- I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN SUCH A GEEK FOR YOU.
I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU.
HAS ANYONE EVER SAID, "GEEK FOR YOU".
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A--
GEEK IS A COMPLIMENT. IT MEANS
THAT LIKE, I NERD OUT OVER TATUM.
YEAH, YOU DO NERD OUT.
OH THAT'S SO CUTE.
IS THIS THE FIRST GAY MAN
WHO NEVER SAID HE LOVED YOU?
(LAUGHS)
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
THIS IS A LITTLE BIT FOR ME
AND I KNOW THIS QUESTION COMES LATER,
A LITTLE BIT OF A GOLDIE LOCKS
AND THE THREE BEARS MOMENT.
-OH MY GOD.
-I'M OBSESSED WITH FAERIE TALE THEATRE, WHICH
YOU DID WITH SHELLY DUVALL FIRST OF
ALL AND CAROL KING PLAYED THE
MOMMA BEAR.
YES, AND--
IS CAROL KING AS BIG OF A BITCH
AS EVERYONE THINKS SHE IS?
SHE WAS NEVER LIKE A STRAIGHT UP
BITCH TO ME, BUT LIKE,
SHE WASN'T EXACTLY NICE TO ME.
WAIT, SO SHELLY DUVALL, WHAT WAS SHE LIKE?
-QUIRKY.
-YEAH.
WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET,
LIKE SHE SEEMS--
QUIRKY, QUIRKY, QUIRKY, QUIRKY,...
SO TATUM, YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST
ACTRESS EVER RECEIVE AN OSCAR.
THIS STILL HOLDS TRUE TO THIS DAY. HOW OFTEN DO YOU CALL
JODIE FOSTER, AND MENTION THAT,
AND OR ANNA PAQUIN?
HAVE YOU RUBBED IT IN ANYONE'S FACE?
ANNA PAQUIN AND I KIND OF BUMPED
SHOULDERS AT A CERTAIN SALON,
AND I TRIED TO SMILE, AND SHE
ALWAYS KIND OF...
WHO'S THE BETTER KISSER, MICHAEL
JACKSON OR JOHN MCENROE?
-JOHN MCENROE.
-OKAY.
IF JOHN MCENROE WERE ALIVE TODAY
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO HIM?
DEAR JOHN, I WISH I WOULD'VE BEEN
NICER WHEN YOUR CAREER WAS FAILING.
I WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU... (INAUDIBLE)
YEAH.
OKAY. WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR OSCAR?
WAY, WAY AT THE TOP OF THE BOOK SHELF
SO THAT NO ONE CAN TOUCH
IT OR CLEAN IT, OR ANYTHING--
CAN YOUR CATS GET TO IT?
MY CAT DOES-- I HAVE A INSTAGRAM
WITH MY CAT NEXT TO IT.
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN YOUR OSCAR
TO AN AUDITION?
FUCK NO.
OH, I WOULD TATUM, EVERY WHERE I GO
I WOULD BE LIKE, "SURE, I'LL
WAIT FOR IT..."
-SHELLY WINTERS DID THAT ONCE.
I HEARD THAT.
WHAT?
YEAH, SHE BROUGHT IT IN.
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO LIKE
READ FOR SOMETHING, AND THEY WERE
MAKING HER--
-SHE WAS INSULTED?
-YEAH.
SHE BROUGHT HER OSCAR IN, AND WAS
"I'M READY."
-(LAUGHS)
-(BRYAN): I LOVE THAT.
DAMN YOU NEED TO DO THAT.
FUCK THAT.
YEAH.
IT'S ALL ABOUT NOW MAN. IT'S NOT
ABOUT 73.
YOU'RE RIGHT. TATUM--
OUI.
HAVE YOU EVER MET THE QUEEN
OF ENGLAND?
YES.
I KNEW IT.
DID YOU MEET THE PRESIDENT?
JIMMY CARTER, OR FORD?
-I MET JIMMY CARTER.
-YEAH.
AND I MET FORD.
YEP. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS--
WHY ARE YOU SO SHOCKED?
I'M NOT, THAT'S-- I FEEL LIKE
EVERY POINT HAS BEEN PROVEN IN MY
HEAD THAT IT WAS LIKE TATUM O'NEAL
IN THE 70S, WENT TO THE
WHITE HOUSE, WENT TO BUCKINGHAM
PALACE, WENT TO--
IS THIS THE REACTION--
NO, NO, NO, I DIDN'T GO TO
BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
SHE CAME TO YOU.
(LAUGHS)
THAT SHE DID. SHE CAME TO THE
PREMIERE OF A MOVIE THAT I
WISH HAD DONE BETTER CALLED
"INTERNATIONAL VELVET"
WHAT DID SHE DO? DID SHE GEEK OUT?
I WAS WEARING CHLOE. I DON'T
KNOW. THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.
THAT'S ALL YOU REMEMBER ABOUT
MEETING THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND?
NO, I HAD TO CURTSY, AND MY DAD
WAS THERE, AND WE CURTSIED.
AND SHE WAS INCREDIBLE, BUT I WAS
LIKE, KIND OF THOUGHT I
HAD A CRUSH ON ALBERT. WAS THAT
HIS NAME?
ALBERT NOBBS?
NO, NO, NO. WHAT'S THE--
OH, THE BROTHER? ANDREW.
ANDREW. YES.
AND HE WAS--
(INAUDIBLE)
-DICK PIERCING.
-YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHO STOLE MY
MILITARY LOOK THAT WAS (INAUDIBLE),
AND MICHAEL JACKSON.
I WENT TO A COMMODORES CONCERT, AND
HE WAS WEARING FULL BLACK FACE
AND A BEARD IN DISGUISE, AND THEN
I WAS WEARING LIKE A CAP,
AND I WAS WEARING LIKE UM, LIKE VERY
SHARP SHOULDERS YOU KNOW, AND--
YEAH, THAT MILIT-- YEAH, YEAH.
AND FROM THEN ON HE WAS LIKE,
THAT BITCH WAS LIKE ALL OVER
THE STAGE WITH A CAP, AND GLOVES,
AND THE JACKET.
AND THEN ALSO I TOOK HIM, BEFORE HE
DID NEVERLAND, I TOOK HIM
UP TO HALF (INAUDIBLE), BECAUSE
THAT'S JUST WHERE I USED TO GO
WHEN I WAS LITTLE...
I AM GOING TO FAINT.
HUE HEFNER'S HOUSE (LAUGHS)
WITH MICHAEL JACKSON?
WHAT DID HE DO? I FEEL LIKE HE
WOULD'VE FREAKED OUT.
NO, HE LOVED IT, AND THAT'S WHY
HE BUILT NEVERLAND. THAT'S
WHAT HE WANTED. HE WANTED THAT
AVARIAN, ALL THAT STUFF.
YOU WERE ON SEX IN THE CITY.
IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES
WHERE YOU DON'T GIVE CARRIE BACK
HER SHOES.
RIGHT.
FIRST OF ALL, HAVE YOU EVER
HAD SEX IN THE CITY?
YEAH, I LIVED IN MANHATTAN... (INAUDIBLE)
AND 2ND OF ALL, DID YOU SEE SEX
IN THE CITY 2?
NO.
YEAH, OK. SMART GIRL.
HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE CHANNING
TATUM FOR HIS NAME?
(INAUDIBLE)
YOU DID?
(INAUDIBLE)
YEP.
TATUM, TATUM.
I GOT TO FEEL HIS MUSCLES, AND EVERYTHING,
I WAS LIKE, GOD, HE'S H-O-T.
A COUPLE OF CELEB QUESTIONS, ARE YOU
TEAM MIA OR TEAM WOODY?
-TEAM MIA...
-YES.
FUCK THAT. EMILY WAS LIKE, NOW ARONIN IS COMING
OUT AND SAYING LIKE--
COME ON. AND I LIKE HATE HIS MOVIES.
HATE THEM.
AND THEN I CAN DO A GOOD IMITATION
OF KATE BONJET DOING...(INAUDIBLE)
YEAH.
OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO TALK TO MY SON WHO
I HAVEN'T SEEN IN SO MANY DAYS.
I LOVE THAT MOVIE SO HARD, BUT I
THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON
IN THE WORLD WHO CAN TAKE ME TO THE
OTHER SIDE OF THAT EQUATION.
THANK YOU, AND YOU KNOW WHAT
SHE RUINED THE OSCAR.
TOTALLY. OK. WE'RE GOING TO PLAY
A QUICK GAME WHICH YOU CALL
SHADE OR NO SHADE.
MM-HMM.
WE'RE GOING TO SAY SOMETHING, AND
IF YOU LIKE IT, YOU SAY
NO SHADE, AND IF YOU
DON'T LIKE IT YOU SAY SHADE.
OK, SO FIRST UP,
THE SHOW THE BACHELOR.
SHADE.
MALE ART?
NO SHADE.
BELLS?
NO SHADE.
ANN TAYLOR?
NO SHADE.
ANN TAYLOR LOFT?
SHADE.
CHICOS?
SHADE.
ORVILLE REDENBACHER.
NO SHADE.
TOO MUCH SUNSHINE?
-SHADE.
-YEAH.
NOSE RING.
SHADE.
-YOU WON.
-YOU DID.
YOU WON.
GOOD ANSWERS.
TATUM ONEAL, IT'S SUCH A
PLEASURE.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU GUYS.

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