- [Narrator] Trump in the Wild: The First Year
It was almost a year ago that the aging Donald
seized the American kingdom.
Let us take a look at his journey thus far.
From the very moment he takes his reign,
The Donald finds himself in peril.
His first trial, the predators of the main stream.
Hoping to keep them at a distance, he puffs his chest
and announces his presence through a series
of intricate roars.
The fight against these beasts of prey
will continue throughout the year
as their danger is ever present.
As the brutal winter begins to take its toll on The Donald,
he is cheered on by omegas
looking to raise their status in the pack.
They watch as the alpha,
seeking to increase his self-confidence,
performs a rare ritual:
the honking of the big loud horn.
Stiffened by lonely decades in the wastelands
of real estate development and reality television,
The Donald treks across the Atlantic
to the domains of other great packs.
In an attempt to prove his value to the host alphas,
The Donald finds himself touching a wall, a glowing orb,
and two other men simultaneously,
all with his particularly diminutive palms.
Back in the Pride Lands, an act of God
has placed part of The Donald's hoard in grave danger.
The heroic Donald does his best to aid their recovery,
despite not realizing they were officially
in the pack until now.
Here, we see The Donald high-fiving a kid with a lawnmower.
After nearly a year of constant attacks,
with his approval rating at a new low,
The Donald reiterates his omnipotence
in a test of strength and intellect,
by staring directly into the sun.
Blind with rage and from staring at the sun,
he walks off
into a new year