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JJ Jefferson is the big man on campus until he is challenged by Bo Jack and is forced to defend his thrown.
Published July 03, 2010 350 views More Info ยป
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Directors & Producers: Chris Blakeman & Ben Mehlman
Written By: Chris Blakeman
Director of Photography: Sean Emer
Starring: Chris Blakeman, Chris Mawson, Adrian Saba & Ben Mehlman
34 Funny Votes
9 Die Votes
354 Views
Published July 03, 2010
EXT. campus quad-dusk

DARYL, a nerdy looking student, is hurrying down the side walk. As he walks, a quick blur skates by. Daryl turns around but sees nothing. Another blur rolls behind him again. Once again Daryl turns around but sees nothing. Daryl continues to look all about, nervously. Upon turning back around toward the direction of his destination, he is confronted, face to face, with J.J. JEFFERSON. J.J. is wearing a sleeveless belly-shirt, cut-off shorts, roller skates, aviators, bandanna, and a handle-bar mustache. Daryl screams in terror, running the opposite direction.

J.J.

I'm gonna git chya!

J.J. skates after Daryl and tackles him to the ground.

Fade to black

INT. Dorm room

CHARLIE is on the phone with his mother. They are conversing in a heated manner.

CHARLIE

No mom! I'm fine! I'm staying here!

MOTHER(V.O.)

Charles, I don't want you going to a school whose mascot is a rapist.

CHARLIE

Okay, ONE, its not the mascot, TWO, he's not REAL, and THREE He may not even be a rapist!

MOTHER(V.O.)

Charles, stop raising your voice. It's my job as a parent to be concerned.

CHARLIE

Yes mom, but I have to go.

MOTHER(V.O.)

Okay, well remember to meet with your advisor. I want you to drop out of that late class. They say he usually strikes around dusk.

CHARLIE

GOOD BYE MOM!

Charlie hangs up his phone with annoyance clearly expressed on his face. He turns to his desk to grab his bag. It is covered with articles and news clippings of J.J. He glances at his computer with more articles on the monitor with a look of extreme curiosity. Charlie turns around to exit his dorm.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD-Day

Charlie is walking toward a crowd of people. His friend DARREN runs out of the crowd and up to Charlie.

DARREN

Dude, something got Daryl. All that was left were his pants. They think it was J.J.

CHARLIE

(Surprised and intrigued)

Really?

DARREN

Yeah man. Lucky for him, he had his license on him, other wise I don't think they'd know...being that J.J. takes the student ID cards.

Public safety officers are pushing everyone to the side, revealing caution tape circling something off.

P-SAFE

Alright, alright, everybody go to class. Get outta here.

Charlie ignores him, and moves in for a better look. Sure enough, all that was there were his friends pants. He is mesmerized by the pants.

P-SAFE

Hey you! Put those down ya sick fuck! that's evidence!

Charlie finds himself, inside the caution tape, sniffing the pants. Embarrassed, he drops them immediately and walks to class.

INT./Ext.-Montage

J.J. continues to rape. We see heavy, rodeo like riding and thrusting. Newspapers spin with him on the headlines with titles like, "Jefferson Jumps Again" and "Hofstra Student Raped Again: J.J. or Lackman", whilst Charlie continues to do research, keeping the newspaper clippings and stealing the remaining pants for his own obsession/investigation.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD-DUSK

J.J. is crouching in some bushes like a tiger. He is watching an on coming student. As he is about to pounce, a blur swoops in and steal steals it from him.

J.J.

Now what in the name of Jeffery Domer was that?

J.J. continues to stay in cover, waiting for another bit of prey to waltz his way. Just he is about to act, the same blur swoops in and steals it.

J.J.

God dangit, who keep stealing my little piggies!

J.J. is now standing up, out from his cover. He skates a ways down the sidewalk, looking for a new place to prey from. He finds another large bush and gets inside of it and waits. Another freshman comes within J.J.'s sight.

J.J.

Oooh yeaah, look at that piece a' ass. Mama's eating well tonight. We just need to get some gravy on dat shit. Yeeaah buddy!

J.J. is completely out of cover, full speed ahead, ready to pounce on what is his when once again, the blur steals it right in front him.

J.J.

Alright, that's it! Who keeps stealing my meat? Show yourself. But be warned, if ya ain't got soft skin, yous gonna be sorry you stepped up in here.

As J.J. finished his sentence, BO-JACK appears right behind him, startling J.J. J.J. turns to face him quickly, trying to hide his small amount of fear and awe. As he does this, Bo-Jack begins to skate around J.J. in a circles.

J.J.

Who da hell are you?

BO-JACK

Name's Bo-Jack

J.J.

What makes you think you can come here in my turf, and start stealing from my flock? I've clearly marked my territory.

J.J. gives a long set of sniffs in to the air.

BO-Jack

Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I know that I can do the same thing to you that I just done to those other three specimens.

J.J.

W-What? Get the hell outta here before I go Deliverance on your ass. Don't you be coming back here no mo'. If I catch you round here again, you'll wish you were one of them yuppies by the time I'm done with you.

BO-JACK

That's what you think bub. I've had my fill today, but rest assured J.J.Jefferson, Hofstra will be mine.

Bo-Jack vanishes off into the distance, leaving an obviously nervous J.J. by himself.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD-DAY

Charlie is walking to class again when he sees another huddled group of people. Darren approaches Charlie again.

DARREN

Dude, you wouldn't believe it, J.J. got three people last night! This sucker gets really horny, huh?

Charlie pushes through the people to see a pair of shoes lying on the ground.

CHARLIE

No man, this isn't J.J.'s work. He leaves the pants, not shoes. This, this is the work of someone else.

Charlie bends down and picks up the sneaker to examine them. He then looks and faces the blowing wind, looking for the answer.

EXT. CAMPUS QUAD-DUSK

J.J. is in his usual spot, waiting for prey. He is once again about to pounce when Bo-Jack skates past and grabs the kid.

J.J.

What did I tell you!? Get out of here, this is my kingdom!

BO-JACK

(holding the freshman by the scruff of his neck)

What did I tell you?

J.J.

You-I-uh, I don't remember!

BO-JACK

Wow, yeah, I don't actually either.(awkward pause) Well I remember what I'm gonna tell ya now. I challenge you, J.J. Jefferson to a rape-off.

This echoes all over the campus. Students gasp with awe, terror, and excitement. J.J. and Bo-Jack now find them selves with a crowd of people around them.

J.J.

I ain't doin' no rape-off! This here is my land...get off on it-I mean get off it!

BO-JACK

Aw, is J.J. to scared to lose his precious college?

J.J.

I ain't scured, I just haven't got time to deal with amateurs like yourself.

J.J. turns, and begins to walk away. As he does so, Bo-Jack pulls out a book.

BO-JACK

Well, that's too bad there J.J., because even if you were scared, the the Constitution of the United Rapists of America prohibits you to turn down a rape-off. As seen in article-

J.J.

I know what article! Fine, you wanna get raped...no pun intended, lets do it. Release the birds!

THE RAPE MASTER appears amidst the crowd, walking 7 freshman boys on leashes with black bags over their heads. One by one, he releases them onto the campus ground.

Rape maste

Seven have been released. You have from 6pm until 10pm get as many as possible. All abducted game must be proven with the presentation of the ID at the end of the games.

Bo-Jack let's his caught freshman go.

BO-JACK

Get outta here, I'll see you tomorrow.

The kid runs off, while dialing his cell phone

kid

Mom? Hey, I'm dropping out of school.

RAPE MASTER

All ready?

J.J. and Bo-Jack both give a nod.

RAPE MASTER

Begin!

The two of them skate off in different directions. J.J. is finding the rape-off to be just like the past two nights however. Each time is about to leap out, Bo-Jack's blur speeds by, leaving only the shoes of the victim.

EXT. campus Quad-night

The Rape Master bangs a gong.

RAPE MASTER

Time! Please return to me, all IDs so we may tally up the score.

Bo-Jack hands all seven IDs in. J.J. approaches the rape master shamefully.

RAPE MASTER

Nothing J.J.?

The crowd of students stare in silence and disappointment.

J.J.

No your honor.

BO-JACK

That's right nothin'! You're a has been J.J. Hofstra is mine now! Woo!

J.J. bows his head in shame.

BO-JACK

Aw, is J.J. gonna cry. No sweat J.J., I'm sure the pre-school could use ya. Look at this guy everyone! What a clown! He ain't even got a real mustache.

Bo-Jack smears J.J.'s drawn on mustache and pushes him away.

BO-JACK

Ya'll see that? Get outta here ya clown! Be gone! Wannabe, be gone!

As J.J. skates away slowly, he falls. As he gets back up, he sees the crowd of students dispersing, all shaking their heads in disappointment. Bo-Jack skates off, screaming cries of victory.
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