Two people wake up together the morning after a wild night and they try to put together the pieces.
Published October 09, 2011 510k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Lauryn Kahn & Jake Szymanski
Written & Directed by Lauryn Kahn
Produced by Christin Trogan
Director of Photography & Edited by Elliot Dickerhoof
Also featuring Steven Leeds & Erin Brown
Production Assistants: Ross Buran, Taylor Robinson, & Michael Gabriel
11,775 Funny Votes
5,838 Die Votes
506,954 Views
Published: October 09, 2011

Male Speaker 1:
(whispers) Exclusive.
[music plays]
Jake Szymanski: Hey.
Lauryn Kahn: Morning.
Jake Szymanski: How are you?
Lauryn Kahn: I'm good.
Lauryn Kahn: J-Justin?
Jake Szymanski: Jeremy.
Lauryn Kahn: I knew it was a J.
Jake Szymanski: It's okay.
You got the J.
Lauryn Kahn: I'm sorry.
Jake Szymanski: I think I'm in the same
boat. Is it Cindy?
Lauryn Kahn: Wendy.
Jake Szymanski: Wendy...
Lauryn Kahn: But you have the "ndy"
party. You were like
Lauryn Kahn: so on top of it.
Jake Szymanski: I'm sorry.
Lauryn Kahn: Don't be sorry. So...
Jake Szymanski: Did we do it?
Lauryn Kahn: I don't know.
Jake Szymanski: I don't know what happened,
but I feel good about it.
Lauryn Kahn: I got this good feeling, like,
things went really
Lauryn Kahn: well last night.
Jake Szymanski: That's crazy though, right?
Lauryn Kahn: Yeah, I think so.
Lauryn Kahn: This comforter's really soft.
Jake Szymanski: Yeah. It's pretty cozy.
Lauryn Kahn: You're cozy.
[he laughs]
Lauryn Kahn: Sorry, that was stupid.
Jake Szymanski: You're funny.
Lauryn Kahn: No, I'm not.
Jake Szymanski: You are. You're like
really funny.
Lauryn Kahn: You liked it?
Jake Szymanski: I did.
Lauryn Kahn: Okay.
Jake Szymanski: I know love is like
a crazy serious word.
Lauryn Kahn: Yeah. People don't just--
Jake Szymanski: You don't throw that around.
Lauryn Kahn: No. No.
Jake Szymanski: That's like, that word
means something to me,
Jake Szymanski: but like something's
happening here. Right?
Lauryn Kahn: Something's definitely
happening here.
Jake Szymanski: I mean like, I'm definitely
feeling that.
Lauryn Kahn: I am, 100% feeling it.
Jake Szymanski: Oh my God. That's so good
to hear you say that.
Lauryn Kahn: Is this you?
Jake Szymanski: Mmm.
Lauryn Kahn: It's okay, if it's you.
Jake Szymanski: What is that? Is that me?
I don't think so.
[animal panting]
Jake Szymanski: Whoa. Hey.
Lauryn Kahn: Hey. What a good boy.
Jake Szymanski: Wow. What a pretty dog.
Lauryn Kahn: Pretty dog. What a nice dog.
Jake Szymanski: So...
Jake Szymanski and Lauryn Kahn: What's his name?
Lauryn Kahn: Is he...what's his name?
Jake Szymanski: It's not my dog.
Lauryn Kahn: That's not my dog.
Male Speaker 2: You gotta
get outta here.
Steven Leeds: Seriously, this was amusing for a
moment. Now it's just depressing.
Jake Szymanski: Yeah. I'm so sorry.
I guess we go.
Lauryn Kahn: Totally. Totally.
Lauryn Kahn: Um, is your car
around here?
Jake Szymanski: I have no idea.
Jake Szymanski: Are we in LA?
Steven Leeds: Temecula.
Jake Szymanski: Wow. Okay.
Hey little buddy.
Mommy, that's my blanket.
Steven Leeds: Okay, you're trespassing.
Get your shit, and get out of here.
Jake Szymanski: Yeah. Okay, we should go.
Lauryn Kahn: We're going to go.
Lauryn Kahn: We're going to get going.
Lauryn Kahn: That's fine.
Jake Szymanski: Um, quick question.
Is my penis hanging out of my
Jake Szymanski: Batman suit right now?
Lauryn Kahn: Yeah.
Jake Szymanski: Okay. It is, right? Yep.
Lauryn Kahn: Oh. Shit.
Jake Szymanski: Are you a doctor?
Lauryn Kahn: No.
Steven Leeds: What you need to worry
about right now is grabbing
Steven Leeds: your shit, and getting
out of here.
Jake Szymanski: (whispers) I didn't even think
that's a real cop.
Lauryn Kahn: Are you a real cop?
Steven Leeds: Are...do you not
see my badge?
Jake Szymanski: I have that same shirt.
That's just a dress shirt
Jake Szymanski: from the Men's Warehouse.
Jake Szymanski: I don't know where we are,
or why my penis is hanging
Jake Szymanski: out of my costume--
Erin Brown: Get off my property!
Lauryn Kahn: Geesh.
Jake Szymanski: Give us a minute. Okay?
Lauryn Kahn: (whispers) I love the way
you just did that.
Jake Szymanski: You gotta deal with these people.
You know what I mean?
Lauryn Kahn: It was masculine.
Jake Szymanski: It's like, kinda how I do it.
I'm so feeling this.
Lauryn Kahn: Me too.
Jake Szymanski: And it feels good.
Lauryn Kahn: And didn't want to be like
a chick, and be like
Lauryn Kahn: what are we, but...
Jake Szymanski: No, and I didn't want to like
come on to strong, and then be like--
Lauryn Kahn: No, not at all.
Jake Szymanski: How about I buy
you breakfast?
Lauryn Kahn: I thought you would
never ask.
Jake Szymanski: Really?
Lauryn Kahn: Yeah.
Jake Szymanski: I'm asking. Can I buy
you breakfast?
Lauryn Kahn: And the answer is yes.
Jake Szymanski: Perfect. Then let's get
out of here.
Jake Szymanski: I'm just going to quick
take a shit on this lawn--
Steven Leeds: No. No. No.
Erin Brown: Excuse me.
Steven Leeds: Nobody's taking a
shit anywhere.
Jake Szymanski: This is a private
conversation.
Jake Szymanski: My lady, I could go for a
tremendous 12 right now.
Lauryn Kahn: I never had one.
Jake Szymanski: They're good.
Erin Brown: Are you actually
a cop?
Steven Leeds: I'm just a guy who has a
uniform, a scanner, and
Steven Leeds: likes to help people.
Erin Brown: What?
Steven Leeds: So, if that makes me a
cop, then yes. I am a cop.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: I think something
special is beginning here.
Jake Szymanski: Jake: I totally agree,
and on a separate note,
Jake Szymanski: I still really have to
take a shit. So if we
Jake Szymanski: could find anywhere
to do that.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: Definitely.
Jake Szymanski: Jake: That's like best case
scenario for me.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: Definitely.
Jake Szymanski: Jake: I don't know Temecula
at all. So, pick a way.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: How about...
let's go this way.
Jake Szymanski: Jake: You know what?
I'm totally okay with that.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: Jeremy.
Jake Szymanski: Jake: Cin-Wendy.
Lauryn Kahn: Lauryn: That's okay.

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