(Kevin sits in front of drumset; female interviewer facing him)
Interviewer : You play a large kit.
Kevin : Yeah, but every drum is important. And they know that.
Interviewer : Any favorite?
Kevin : Oh no – I mean, if you have children, you don’t have, like, a favorite kid. Even if your kid looks like a ride cymbal.
Interviewer : So you consider your drums like your kids?
Kevin : Oh no – you gotta keep that relationship strictly professional. I mean, I’m behind that kit all the time, straddling drums, touching ‘em, banging ‘em. You’ve gotta have a clear line drawn.
Interviewer : I see . . .
Kevin : Now that doesn’t mean we’re not a tight unit. We’re very cohesive, and word’s started to get around about that.
Interviewer : Get around to whom? Other musicians?
Kevin : To other drums. I’m constantly having drums call me trying to get into the kit. I’ve gotta tell ‘em no. You know, I’m not gonna cut loose a skin that’s hung with me for years, through thick and thin next to that tight-wound snare just because some shiny tom- tom thinks he’s a vibraphone.
Interviewer : Drums call you?
Kevin : Yeah – there’s nothing worse than getting woken up by a damn cowbell in the middle of the night.
Interviewer : Don’t you think it’s unusual that your drums talk to you?
Kevin : What, music doesn’t speak to you?
Interviewer : Well, I guess, in a manner of speaking . . .
Kevin : Look, have you ever interviewed an MC?
Interviewer : Yes . . .
Kevin : Well, his voice is his instrument. And it talked to you. So what’s different about my instrument talking?
Interviwer : You’re unbelieveable.
Kevin : You wanna interview any of the boys?
Interviewer : I am not talking to your drums.
Kevin : Too bad. The kick drum said you had nice gams. (she rolls her eyes) Hey I’ve got a question for you. Is the Gong Show the only game show ever named for a drum?
Interviewer : I have no idea. (She throws up her hands and leaves)
Kevin : Think about it. (turns to bass drum) Now that you mention it, she does have a nice gait – 4/4 time, I think.