The Teacher's Lounge
– Episode 2 “Planned Parenthood”
INT.
- A Teacher’s Lounge
SFX
– School Bell Ringing, Sounds of people having sex from Knocked
Up
Karen
My god what are you
watching?
Carol
Something that got me
in a whole lot of trouble.
Karen
I told you that making
homemade porn would come back to bite you in the ass.
Carol
I’m not in trouble
for my homemade porn, unless know something I don’t know. Is my
website having technical problems?
Karen
Website? What?
Carol
Never mind. I’m
trying to educate kids.
Karen
Educate them on what?
How to have sex through the third trimester of pregnancy?
Carol
No, I’m trying to
teach them that parenthood need to be planned and what better way
than to show them the record breaking hit comedy, Knocked
Up, starring
the greatest comic actor of our generation, my future husband Seth
Rogan.
Karen
I’m the health
teacher. I think Sex Ed should be my job.
Carol
I’m teaching about
parenting so I think they need to see this.
Karen
Admit it; you just want
any excuse to bring Seth Rogan into your curriculum.
Carol
You’re just jealous
because I have a sex life.
Karen
Yes, I am jealous you
have sex. But what does that have to do with you showing Knocked
Up in Home
Economics class?
Carol
You’re jealous of
Seth and me.
Karen
Carol, there is no you
and Seth. He’s a Hollywood Movie Star and I use the term “star”
loosely.
Carol
Well, you’ll see I’m
going to meet him and once I do our lives will be changed forever.
Karen
So how much trouble are
you in?
Carol
Well, it’s really
ridiculous. I wasn’t going to show them the inappropriate parts.
Karen
It’s rated R, that
means it’s completely inappropriate.
Carol
Fine, but seriously I
was just gonna show the scene where Kathryn Heigl and Seth Rogan meet
in a bar and then fast forward to the part when she realizes she’s
pregnant.
But when I pushed play
it was smack dab in the middle of the “my penis is gonna hit the
baby in the head scene.”
Karen
So one of the little
shit heads did this to you.
Carol
Liam did it. I know it
was him. I gave him an F last week because he burned his no bake
cookies.
Karen
How do you burn no bake
cookies?
Carol
Exactly.
Karen
We can’t let him get
away with this. Have him deliver a note to me today during fourth
period.
CUT
TO:
STILL
PHOTO OF LIAM WITH A SIGN ON HIS BACK THAT READS. I PICK MY NOSE AND
EAT IT
SFX
- Classroom door shuts. We hear an uproard of laughter from Liam's
classmates.
END
OF EPISODE
Patience is a virtue...
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