The Teachers' Lounge - episode 2: planned parenthood

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The Teachers' Lounge

The Teacher's Lounge
– Episode 2 “Planned Parenthood”

INT.
- A Teacher’s Lounge

SFX
– School Bell Ringing, Sounds of people having sex from Knocked
Up

Karen

My god what are you
watching?

Carol

Something that got me
in a whole lot of trouble.

Karen

I told you that making
homemade porn would come back to bite you in the ass.

Carol

I’m not in trouble
for my homemade porn, unless know something I don’t know. Is my
website having technical problems?

Karen

Website? What?

Carol

Never mind. I’m
trying to educate kids.

Karen

Educate them on what?
How to have sex through the third trimester of pregnancy?

Carol

No, I’m trying to
teach them that parenthood need to be planned and what better way
than to show them the record breaking hit comedy, Knocked
Up, starring
the greatest comic actor of our generation, my future husband Seth
Rogan.

Karen

I’m the health
teacher. I think Sex Ed should be my job.

Carol

I’m teaching about
parenting so I think they need to see this.

Karen

Admit it; you just want
any excuse to bring Seth Rogan into your curriculum.

Carol

You’re just jealous
because I have a sex life.

Karen

Yes, I am jealous you
have sex. But what does that have to do with you showing Knocked
Up in Home
Economics class?

Carol

You’re jealous of
Seth and me.

Karen

Carol, there is no you
and Seth. He’s a Hollywood Movie Star and I use the term “star”
loosely.

Carol

Well, you’ll see I’m
going to meet him and once I do our lives will be changed forever.

Karen

So how much trouble are
you in?

Carol

Well, it’s really
ridiculous. I wasn’t going to show them the inappropriate parts.

Karen

It’s rated R, that
means it’s completely inappropriate.

Carol

Fine, but seriously I
was just gonna show the scene where Kathryn Heigl and Seth Rogan meet
in a bar and then fast forward to the part when she realizes she’s
pregnant.

But when I pushed play
it was smack dab in the middle of the “my penis is gonna hit the
baby in the head scene.”

Karen

So one of the little
shit heads did this to you.

Carol

Liam did it. I know it
was him. I gave him an F last week because he burned his no bake
cookies.

Karen

How do you burn no bake
cookies?

Carol

Exactly.

Karen

We can’t let him get
away with this. Have him deliver a note to me today during fourth
period.

CUT
TO:

STILL
PHOTO OF LIAM WITH A SIGN ON HIS BACK THAT READS. I PICK MY NOSE AND
EAT IT

SFX
- Classroom door shuts. We hear an uproard of laughter from Liam's
classmates.

END
OF EPISODE