Drunk History Vol. 5 w/ Will Ferrell, Don Cheadle & Zooey Deschanel

• • 

  • Will Ferrell

  • Actor
• • 

  • Don Cheadle

  • Actor
• • 

  • ZooeyDeschanel

  • Actor
• • 

  • Drunk History

  • Web Series
• • 

  • Derekwaters

  • Writer
• • 

  • JeremyKonner

  • Director
• • 

  • FODPresents

  • Executive Producer
• • 

  • Tom Gianas

  • Writer
• • 

  • Jen Kirkman

  • Actor
• • 

  • showfriendz

  • Editor
• • 

  • Live Funny or Die

  • Uploader

Additional Credits

The video opens with the following text: On March 22nd Jen Kirkman
drank two bottles of wine...and then discussed an historical event.
Derek Waters Presents DRUNK HISTORY. The shot cuts to Jen Kirkman
sitting on a couch.



Jen Kirkman: Today we're going to talk about Frederick Douglass.



The shot cuts to a painting of a Civil War battle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): The Union was falling apart. The South was seceding. It was a very young country.



The shot crossfades to a still image of Frederick Douglass.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Frederick Douglass was an abolitionist and he believed it is morally wrong to have slavery.



The shot crossfades to Will Ferrell dressed as Abraham Lincoln talking with “Senator Pomeroy” in period dress.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): And people were like, hey Lincoln, this guy is talking a good game. You should meet with him.



The shot cuts to Jen Kirkman sitting on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: And Lincoln wasn't a douchebag.



The shot cuts back to Will Ferrell.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): He's like, okay, I'll meet with him.



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle, dressed as Frederick Douglass, arriving at
the White House and meeting Will Ferrell and “Senator Pomeroy.”



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Frederick Douglass comes to the White House.
Senator Pomeroy is, like, da da da! Abraham Lincoln, let me introduce
you to Frederick Douglass, a black, former slave. A good black man who
has some speeches. He would like to talk to you. I'm not being
prejudiced. He's black, I'd like to let you know.



The shot cuts back to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: And he was asking. He was asking Frederick Douglass...



The shot cuts back to Will Ferrell.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): ...what do I do about slavery? What do I do about the black population?



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): And Frederick Douglass comes over to him. He's
like, whew, Abraham Lincoln, I am Frederick Douglass. I am a former
slave who – and he's (referring to Will Ferrell) like, shhhh, I get it. I
know. I know who you are. It's been explained to me. I've been
following your career forever. Be quiet. I'm into it. Let's talk.



The shot cuts back to Jen Kirkman. She's moving around on the couch, trying to get comfortable.



Jen Kirkman: I will do more about him, but I will lay down. (she lies
down on the couch) My legs are showing. (she adjusts her dress to cover
more of her legs) I wanted to lose weight before this. Wait. Don't show!
It's too white. I want to lay down and have a drink.



Voice (offscreen): Do you want a blanket?



Jen Kirkman: No! You know what I'm gonna do?



The shot cuts to Jen Kirkman on couch, under a blanket, with a glass of wine in her hand.



Jen Kirkman: Frederick Douglass...



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): ...he's like, guess what Abraham Lincoln? I
have to tell you three things. Blacks should fight in the war. Two.
Black soldiers who do fight in the war should get equal pay as whites.
Three. If they're prisoners of war, don't fucking kill them. And
Lincoln's like, yeah, I think we can do this, but, I just want to let
you know, that I'm just into preserving the Union. The thing about,
about, about, about Richard Dreyfuss...



The shot cuts to a still image of Richard Dreyfuss and then cuts to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: What is his name? (laughing) Frederick Douglass. I knew it
was something similar. The thing about Frederick Douglass...



The shot cuts to Will Ferrell and Don Cheadle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): ...they were good friends. And they remained an adviser for President Clinton for years.



Will Ferrell turns and looks directly at the camera at the mention of
President Clinton. The shot cuts to Don Cheadle writing and “Senator
Pomeroy” comes into the room.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): And word gets back to him that, President Lincoln is dead.



The shot cuts back to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: Why do I feel like – I didn't take my pants off or anything did I?



Voice (offscreen): No, you took your shoes off.



Jen Kirkman: Cause I feel like I don't have pants on. Oh, because I'm in
a dress. But there was a moment where I took my pants off. Okay good.



The shot cuts to the unveiling of the Emancipation Memorial.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): A couple years later, they're in Washington DC
and they're like, alright, it's the Lincoln emancipation memorial, and
then someone says, hey, Frederick Douglass is in the audience. He should
speak.



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): He's an orator. I mean this is his livelihood.
So he gets up. He he did that for a little while and he did a good
job...



The shot cuts to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: And then I would go on and do a good job. (laughs) Wait, that was different than that.



The shot cuts back to Don Cheadle.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): He says, I gotta be honest with you guys. Abraham Lincoln was a white man's President.



The shot cuts to Zooey Deschanel.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Mary Todd Lincoln, Abraham's wife, is there.
And she was there when he got his head blown off in the theater...



There is a brief scene of Will Ferrell falling forward in a chair and Zooey Deschanel looking down where he fell.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): She's a badass, but it doesn't mean she's immune to feelings. She's there.



The shot crossfades back to the Emancipation Memorial ceremony.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): So he (refers to Don Cheadle) says, we had
different views on slavery. We had different views on the Emancipation
Proclamation. We had different views on the war, but he's a great guy
and I respect him because he listened. Even if he knew he couldn't
fulfill my wishes, he brought me in and he fucking listened. Nobody does
that.



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle and Zooey Deschanel.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Mary Todd Lincoln comes up to him and goes, he
would have fucking loved that. That is exactly his style. She goes,
Douglass, come here. I have something for you.



The shot cuts to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: Now my head is shutting asleep.



The shot cuts back to Don Cheadle and Zooey Deschanel.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Mary Todd said, I want you to have Abe's walking stick. His favorite walking stick.



Zooey Deschanel hands Don Cheadle a stick.



Jen Kirkman (voiceover): Douglass was like, thank you much for the
walking stick. I'm gonna do my best to preserve the honor of it and I
just take it more of a symbol as a friendship between you, me and your
husband.



Don Cheadle walks off into a bright light and the shot crossfades to Jen Kirkman on the couch.



Jen Kirkman: And then, he died a few months later, doing what he loves. Sticking up for ladies.



The shot cuts to Don Cheadle, who give the camera a wink, and then back to Jen Kirkman.



Jen Kirkman: And you can't fault him for that. Did I need to do more story about them?



The credits roll.



The shot cuts back to Jen Kirkman.



Jen Kirkman: I have a mental illness, but I don't. He's the father of the civil rights.



The credits end.