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Now hears sum sik shits, yall. I wont you to member this HISI next time you go to tha... more »
Published September 27, 2010 870 views More Info »
I'm Loretta Jenkins
and this here's How I Seize It.
I couldn't sleep,
so I got up to have me some 'Coorios.'
That's Coors Light and Cheerios.
I know some of y'alls out there sayin',
"Eww, that's gross..."
And you know what I say to you?
Fuck you right back.
I know some folks that eats
worser things than Coorios.
Y'all know them types...
Them types that eats them fishes
that ain't cooked.
Them people that eats cow brains,
and eggplants-
I don't even know what the fuck an eggplant is.
And then some gays,
but not all of them-
Them hairy pig fuckers...
They likes to drank each others pee.
Ain't that delicious?
But what I read on the internet
really takes the shit cake,
for real...
Now get this.
There's these third world countries,
and they makin' this super-expensive coffee
that's like $500 a pound!
That's more than gold...
...and marijuana!
Now y'all, I'm serious-
I ain't kiddin'!
They makin' this gourmet coffee...
...outta cat turds.
I said it.
Now they always bitchin' about people
thinkin' they eatin' cats...
Well, it would help if you didn't
make your cup-a-joe
out of cat shit!
You know how most coffee gives you the runs?
This coffee already had the runs!
(cackling laughter)
I don't even think Jack Daniels
would make that acceptable.
This woman on TV?
She's one of them...
coffee connoisseur British bitch,
that she look like she eat too many crumpets.
And she's all like,
"Oooh, it's so full bodied.
Ooooh! It's the best coffee I ever tasted!"
Her ass is that wide-
And even if she does have
better than normal British teeth,
I don't know nobody that wanna kiss her
with a big ass and cat shit breath!
(dog barking)
I mean, I don't care-
Fuck that damn dog!
Woof, woof, woof-
I mean who...
...who invented that?
It was probably that bitch that got caught
with her dog and that jar of peanut butter.
It is a sick fuckin' world that we live in,
and you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm just gonna plan on preserve this rockin' bod
by just drinkin'
and I suggest you do too.
And if you one of them crazy motherfuckers
that's drinkin' cat turd coffee,
than I think that you ought to just go ahead
and just kill yourself!
I can't have nothin'!
That's How I Seize It.

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