Follow me @Bikramperhar Whats up Edmonton how are yall doin this evening.? So its... more »
Follow me @Bikramperhar
Whats up Edmonton how are yall doin this evening.? So its my first time doing stand up and to me its like the first time you have sex. Your really nervous there is alot of sweating and screaming if your good and you hope you dont get heckled while its happening. You also might get a standing ovation at the end and when your done you hope you cum at the right time.
My name is Bikramjit perhar but you can call me By my white name Slum dog millionaire. And recently i go by Rusell Peters.
I know what your all thinking and no im not his brother and no not all east indians look alike. But it does start to help me out when im performing. When i tell the clubs russell peters is performing i get a better turn out.
Its good to have multiple names.Didnt work for my friend though... he got pulled over. He was pissed drunk and when the officer asked for his name he yelled out Martin Luther king he then screamed out racism when he was getting cuffed...... my friend is white.
I was always wondering where i got my sense of humor. Its my crazy indian parents. They are the funniest people i know. Especially my mom shes crazy and she really believes in what she is saying. My parents own a convenience store... surprise surprise and we do get alot of asshole customers. My dad uses itimidation and swearing to deal with those mother fuckers. My mom does it a little different she doesnt intimidate but when some one swears she always swear back.. Someone will say fuck you and my mom will literally reply fuck you and fuck your mother. A couple days ago a girl called me and my mom bastards and my mom turned and replied as the girl was leaving your mom is the bastard your family is a bastard. Your family is the bastard. Im like mom you already said that. I know but i really believe she is a bastard.
Ive applied so many places in my life and i dont really get call backs so when i do get an interview i really try my hardest not to screw it up. I got an interview from a phone company. I thought I was doing pretty good until the question came up about what my weakness'es were. Now im not the type of person who performs well under pressure.... just ask the girls ive dated. I took a pause and responded. i gave him the typical answers. I forget things. Im slow and i dont listen some times. Now this is a true story mind you the interview finished and he told me hed call me. Im like yea right your not going to fucking call me. A few days later a call came.IT was Jason the hiring manager I. He told me he liked me and i got the job. I put the phone down and was shocked. I told this motherfucker i was lazy forgetful and slow and the fucker still hired me. I asked him later on Jason why did you hire me? He told me i reminded him of himself.
Does everyone remember hitting puberty. Well i did. I was in grade 7 and i had a full beard not a goatee not a little stubble i had a full on taliban beard. I also had a little stubble on my face.
Hair wasnt the only thing that was changing. My voice changed gradually and people didnt mistake me for my mom and my sister any more. But im still waiting for my penis to hit puberty. Or maybe i cant find it because its hiding in this bush i call pubic hair.
I love porn guys love porn. You know what i hate when people steal your porn nothing makes me more angry then when my roomates steal my porn and dont think ill notice. But there is nothing i can do about it its my dads house. I stopped stealing my dads porn along time ago and started buying my own. One day i noticed that i was missing Some dvds. And im kind of an organization freak so i had my porn categorized by alphabetical order. There was something in the v section missing. I found out it was my dvd called vaginal tendencies was missing. And also a c category missing and that was called Can i put my dick in your ass. And its weird to ask my dad like hey dad do you have my copy of can i put my dick in your ass. "You want to put what in my ass? Thats a conversation you dont want with the man who raised you. So i had to steal it back. So i went in my parents room and searched... didnt take too long was in and out in a minute. Everything was right again. I had my porn back and didnt think my dad would notice that i stole it back. Besides what was he going to say. Hey Bik did you steal your porn back?