Don't Sell Out, America!

Uploader

Funny Or Die

Actor

Jordan Peele

Producer

Josh Simpson

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

The video opens with a shot of the Supreme Court Building. The following
text scrolls over the image of the Supreme Court Building and is read
in a voiceover by an announcer.



Scrolling text/announcer(voiceover): In a landmark decisions, the
Supreme Court decided that it is within the 1st Amendment Rights of
Corporations to fund political television commercials, to comment on
this historic ruling, President Barack Obama.



The video cuts to Barack Obama, portrayed by Jordan Peele, standing at a
podium in a mock up of the press conference setting used by the White
House. Pictures are taken and the flashes can be seen coming from
offscreen.



Jordan Peele: My fellow Americans, I just wanted to say that I am deeply
disappointed in the recent Supreme Court ruling. I think it is a huge
step backward for the individual rights of Americans and I think it's
destructive to democracy. Now, what we...



Jordan Peele looks off-camera.



Jordan Peele: Really? (sighs) We'll be right back after this commercial
break.



The shot cuts to a still, black and white, image of Jordan Peele.



Announcer: The President want you to believe that commercials are bad
for America, but isn't Barack Hussein Obama bad for America?



Still in black and white, a clip made up of bits and pieces of the press
conference Jordan Peele was giving right before going to the commercial
is shown. It is choppy and clearly edited.



Jordan Peele: My fellow Americans, I am a huge step backward and I am
destructive to democracy.



A circular logo appears that is dominated CC in giant, yellow text.
Along the bottom curve of the circle is the text: WE'RE A CORPORATION
AND A citizen.



Announcer: Brought to you by Corporate Citizens of America. A
corporation that's also a citizen.



The shot cuts back to Jordan Peele standing at the press conference
podium.



Barack Obama: And now, so, we're back. So, yeah, I think you can see the
problem here. These companies will use their vast resources to
basically silence the average American, who doesn't have the deep
coffers of a multinational corporation. And now, on to another
commercial break.



The shot cuts to Jane Shayne and Phil Powers sitting down at a kitchen
table.



Phil Powers: The President is on TV so much.



Jane Shayne: He interrupts our favorite programs, telling us we have to
make up commercials and put them on the air.



Phil Powers: I don't know how to do that. I don't even know what a
coffer is. I look to corporations to do that. Thank you corporations.



A circular logo appears that is dominated CC in giant, yellow text.
Along the bottom curve of the circle is the text: WE'RE A CORPORATION
AND A citizen.



Announcer: Brought to you by Corporate Citizens of America. A
corporation that's also a citizen.



The shot cuts back to Jordan Peele at the press conference podium. He is
covered with corporate logo stickers, such as Marlboro, Bank of
America, Lowe's and Ford.



Jordan Peele: Okay, you see, (sees the logo stickers) who? This is
ridiculous. (pulls off stickers) Who did this? You see? This is a
slippery slope people. You see what's happening? Okay? Now, I should be
talking to America about the things America cares about. You know, like,
jobs. Okay? And according to the Skittles Job Report...(to someone
offscreen) Skittles? I just can't even take that seriously. I'm sorry.



On the front of the podium, a large portion of the Presidential Seal has
been replaced by the Tostitos logo. Beneath the Seal/logo are the
words: With a hint of lime.



Jordan Peele: That's just rainbow bullcrap to me.



Music begins to play and the words “Viva Viagra” are heard. The Viagra
logo appears in the lower left hand corner. The Old Spice logo appears
in the upper right hand corner and the Old Spice whistle is heard.



Jordan Peele: Okay, now, electronic silence. You see what's happening.



The flurry of logos covers over Jordan Peele's image.



Jordan Peele: Fight for your rights America. Speak out. Be loud. Don't
let corporate America shut you out...



The shot cuts to an image of the American flag waving in a breeze.
Orchestration from The Star-Spangled Banner plays. When The
Star-Spangled Banner music stops, you hear: “By Mennen” and the Mennen
logo appears and the video ends.