Jonathan and Sarah field some tough questions about their post-debate performance from their harshest critics; their internal thoughts.

Full Credits

CAST
Sean Patton
Lauren O'Brien
Dink O'Neal as Mr. Sheffield
CREW
Director - Kevin Mead
Producer - Sean Dacanay
Writer - Darren Miller
DP - Scotty Field
1st AC - James Jeffrey
Gaffer - John Manning
Key Grip - David Kitchner
Swing - Tommy Oceanak
Wardrobe Stylist - Jordy Scheinberg
Hair/Makeup - Jessica Leigh Schwarts
Sound - Mike Robertson
PA - Matt Myers
PA - Edgar Castillo
Editor - Yuri Chernykh
Graphics - Olivia Kowalczyk
Graphics - Shawn James

Transcript

Lauren O'Brien: Well this is me.
Sean Patton: I mean, I had such a
great time tonight.
Lauren O'Brien: Me too.
Sean Patton: I guess this is good night.
Sean Patton: Good night Sarah.
Lauren O'Brien: Good night.
(music)
(music stops)
Lauren O'Brien: Oh...good night I guess?
Sean Patton: Oh no. That's not...
(sounds from a press conference)
Sean Patton: First of all, I'd like to say
that I beat myself out
Sean Patton: there tonight.
Sean Patton: I felt that we hit it off,
and I blew it.
Sean Patton: That's my responsibility.
I'm taking that on me.
Sean Patton: I will now accept questions
from myself.
(shouts of Jonathan ring out)
Sean Patton: Hi, it's me, your neuroses from
your limbic system.
Sean Patton: So I'm just wondering...
Sean Patton: You kissed her hand!
That is so weird!
Sean Patton: You think she thinks
that's weird?
Sean Patton: Why'd you do that?
Sean Patton: I was going for the mouth.
I was going to land right
Sean Patton: on the mouth, and I panicked.
(shouts of Jonathan)
Sean Patton: Yo bro, it's me, your sex drive, representing the
Sean Patton: hypothalamus. Look, quit being
such a pussy, and
Sean Patton: start literally sucking on
her face with your penis
Sean Patton: till it barfs.
Sean Patton: That's...What's a?
Sean Patton: Left brain, (inaudible) here, Parietal lobe. According
to statistics this issue
Sean Patton: is ongoing. How do you address
the pattern?
Sean Patton: I wasn't really aware of a pattern.
Sean Patton: Junior year of University
you shook Pam Smith's hand
Sean Patton: whilst in her dormitory, and
just last year, you high-fived...
Sean Patton: Uh, the pattern is not the problem.
Sean Patton: Right brain creative, frontal lobe.
Sean Patton: I'll ask this question in the
form of an interpretive
Sean Patton: dance as accompanied by your
5th grade music teacher, Mr. Sheffield.
Sean Patton: Okay, let's see where that goes.
Dink O'Neal: (singing) Listen to your heart
Dink O'Neal: When he's calling for you
Sean Patton: You're right, I will
listen to my heart.
Sean Patton: No further questions.
Sean Patton: Sarah, wait.
Lauren O'Brien: Jonathan?
Sean Patton: It's me Jonathan from earlier.
Sean Patton: Look, tonight I kissed your hand. I didn't mean to do that.
Sean Patton: That's not what I wanted.
Sean Patton: I wanted to kiss you on your face,
Sean Patton: with my penis.
Lauren O'Brien: What?
Sean Patton: Oh, no...
Lauren O'Brien: I really liked you.
(shouts of Sarah)
Lauren O'Brien: Okay, yes.
Lauren O'Brien: Unaresis here, limbic system.
Lauren O'Brien: You just like hit him.
I mean he should've never
Lauren O'Brien: said that, but isn't that
like physical assault?
Lauren O'Brien: I must've over reacted.
(shouts of Sarah)
Lauren O'Brien: It's your Sex drive, Hypothalamus.
When he offered up that
Lauren O'Brien: perfectly good face penis,
why didn't your prude mouth
Lauren O'Brien: take a fuck-cation from this
first date, masturbate hell
Lauren O'Brien: you call life.
Lauren O'Brien: What?
I'm not like that.
Lauren O'Brien: You're lying. I'm apart of you.
(shouts of Sarah)
Lauren O'Brien: Biological clock here, Hypothalamus.
- Miss you. What's up?
- Gross.
Lauren O'Brien: You blank slated at 31.
Pregnancy complications
Lauren O'Brien: will start at 35...
Lauren O'Brien: Can you just get to the question?
Lauren O'Brien: Will you lift your current ban
on freezing your eggs?
Lauren O'Brien: Geez.
Lauren O'Brien: Sarah, compassion here.
Lauren O'Brien: You seemed really nervous.
Maybe you could forgive him.
Lauren O'Brien: You've asked that same
question after every date
Lauren O'Brien: that I've been on.
Dink O'Neal: Hey Sarah.
Lauren O'Brien: Mr. Sheffield?
Dink O'Neal: Mmhmm.
Lauren O'Brien: You know, I wonder if
your music class was the
Lauren O'Brien: only thing that Jon and I
ever had in common.
Dink O'Neal: Naw, that's probably not true.
Lauren O'Brien: How did you get in here anyway?
Dink O'Neal: I live in your heart Sarah.
Dink O'Neal: Your heart.
Dink O'Neal: Your heart.
Lauren O'Brien: Jonathan.
Sean Patton: Sarah.
Lauren O'Brien: Yeah.
Sean Patton: I'm a moron.
Sean Patton: I'm sorry.
Sean Patton: Make a move bro. Lets drown
her in our squirt.
Lauren O'Brien: Lets cut this shit, and get some
dick please.
(dramatic music plays)
Dink O'Neal: (singing) Listen to your heart
Dink O'Neal: When she's calling for you
(Funny or Die ending jingle plays)

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