Scott Bakula is a glorious man. A man's man. A man's man who appears--more... more »

Full Credits

Song by Andrew Livingston. Video by Jesse Livingston.


This ain't a song about Dracula
It's back to ya, Scott Bakula
This ain't about Bunnicula
That's ridicula
(That's a rabbit, suh)

I'm about a mind to smack you up
It's back to ya, Scott Bakula
I'm about a mind to put a cap in ya
Spectakula, Scott Bakula

You know you're watchin' him up the the club
Smokin' drugs, girls in love
Give him fifty bucks to teach the mac to ya
He won't, and he won't give it back to ya

All you little haters just shut your lip
Suck on his taters and take a tip
'Cuz you're all just mutherfuckin' imitators
Image-takers of the original shake
Mistranslators of the Gospel of
Mister Love, Scott Bakula

You were learnin' his moves in your pull-up pants
Shit yourself when you do his dance
You wish you could do the Quantum Leap
Dreamin' of bein' him in your sleep

Now you're grown, you think you're Bakula-size
It don't take a man to dis Enterprise
He's eaten twice as many cherry pies
Than you all added up in all your lives

Saw him eatin' pies in a contest
He took first and then ate the rest
Saw him at the State Fair hittin' the bell
He won a prize for bein' strongest

"What about the bull in the rodeo?"
He rode the mutherfucker the longest
"What about the target at the county gun show?"
Six straight shots in the center of the chest

"What about that huge-ass mound of blow
Bigger than the one in Scarface, yo?"
You mean that movie with Al Pacino?
"Yeah, where the FUCK did all that go?"
He did it all, there's nothin' left

"Man, FUCK Scott Bakula!"
Aw, you just fucked up

Welcome to the Scott Bakula
Underwear Spectakula!
It is the greatest thing that you have ever heard
You ever heard

You have waited your whole life
To hear something quite
As wonderful as this
You can't miss

The Underwea
Scott Bakula
Looks fantastica
In his taffeta

The Scott Bakula
Underwear Spectakula!
It is the greatest thing the world has ever seen
And I mean:

Look at the man
Look at his package, man
You've got it where it counts
Oh, Scott