Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

You must Login or Signup to favorite things (it's not hard!)

You must Login or Signup to use playlists (it's not hard!)

You must Login or Signup to report abuse (it's not hard!)

The video opens with a title that read BETWEEN TWO FERNS with ZACH GALIFIANAKIS. The titles fade to reveal Zach Galifianakis and Charlize Theron sitting between two ferns.

Zach Galifianakis: Hello, welcome to another episode of Between Two Ferns. I’m the host, Zach Galifianakis. And my guest today is Charlize Theron. (He mispronounces her name.)

Charlize Theron: Charlize Theron. (She corrects his pronunciation.) It’s ok, everybody does that.

Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron.

Charlize Theron: Theron, like heron, Theron.

Zach Galifianakis: Like heroin.

Charlize Theron: Yeah, no, just Theron. Just, start away.

Zach Galifianakis: So you were in Monsters, Inc.?

Charlize Theron: Ha ha, no. That’s humorous.

Zach Galifianakis: Oh, you were in the movie, Monster.

Charlize Theron: Monster. Yeah, just Monster.

Zach Galifianakis: Did you win an Oscar for that?

Charlize Theron: I did.

Zach Galifianakis: Where’s your Oscar statue.

Charlize Theron: It’s in my house.

Zach Galifianakis: It’d be cool if you hung from the rear view mirror in your car, with a high school tassel.

Charlize Theron: (giggles) Where did that come from? That stuff just hangs out in your head. That’s funny. Did you write it down? You’re really funny. Just remember it.

Zach Galifianakis: So it says here, you’re a dog lover?

Charlize Theron: Yeah, very much.

Zach Galifianakis: Do you have a dog?

Charlize Theron: I have a few, yeah. I adopt them and I actually just recently adopted one from the pound. He actually has this really horrible disease called leishmaniasis and it’s like a cancer. He’s on medication right now and we hope he pulls through. It’s a pretty bad disease. They don’t know that much about it here in America.

Zach Galifianakis holds up a case for the video game Need for Speed Shift in front of Charlize Theron’s face.

Zach Galifianakis: We have a new sponsor for the show. Is this on camera? (To Charlize Theron) Sorry about this. We have a new sponsor of the show: Need for Speed Shift. (To someone off camera) Which camera? This one? (holds the game in front of Charlize Theron’s face) Video game. What’s his name?

Charlize Theron: Oh boy.

Zach Galifianakis: Like, oh boy I wish my dog wasn’t sick.

Charlize Theron laughs uncomfortably and looks upset.

Zach Galifianakis: You ok? Cause of the dog?

Charlize Theron: Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re sweet for asking though.

Zach Galifianakis: How often to do you go back to South Africa?

Charlize Theron: I go quite a bit you know. You been?

Zach Galifianakis: Yes.

Charlize Theron: Did you go alone or did you go with a girlfriend or…alone.

Zach Galifianakis: I have a girlfriend.

Charlize Theron: That’s great

Zach Galifianakis: She looks a little bit like you.

Charlize Theron: Really? Oh wow. That’s such a nice compliment. Thank you.

Zach Galifianakis: And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Charlize Theron: (laughing) That’s funny. You must make her laugh all the time.

Zach Galifianakis: (wipes sweat of his brow) It’s warm in here.

Charlize Theron: (to camerapeople) Don’t put this on camera. (to Zach Galifianakis) My thighs are so sweaty right now, it’s dripping all the way to the back of my knees. Look at this. I think the only thing that could cool me off right now is if I jump naked into a pool. It’s so fucking hot.

Zach Galifianakis: Are you asking me to go with you?

Charlize Theron: To where?

Zach Galifianakis: To the naked pool.

Charlize Theron: (laughing hysterically) Oh my god, you are hilarious.

Zach Galifianakis: I wasn’t joking.

Charlize Theron: You know how you made it really funny, is the image of me and you, like me naked in a pool with a fat, garden gnome. That’s really good. You are really good. You are really good.

Zach Galifianakis: I hope your dog dies.

Charlize Theron: (laughs) I just pissed myself.