Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron

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Between Two Ferns

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Comedy Deathray

Actor

Charlize Theron

Actor

Zach Galifianakis

Producer

Scott Aukerman

Producer

BJPorter

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The video opens with a title that read BETWEEN TWO FERNS with ZACH
GALIFIANAKIS. The titles fade to reveal Zach Galifianakis and Charlize
Theron sitting between two ferns.



Zach Galifianakis: Hello, welcome to another episode of Between Two
Ferns. I’m the host, Zach Galifianakis. And my guest today is Charlize
Theron. (He mispronounces her name.)



Charlize Theron: Charlize Theron. (She corrects his pronunciation.) It’s ok, everybody does that.



Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron.



Charlize Theron: Theron, like heron, Theron.



Zach Galifianakis: Like heroin.



Charlize Theron: Yeah, no, just Theron. Just, start away.



Zach Galifianakis: So you were in Monsters, Inc.?



Charlize Theron: Ha ha, no. That’s humorous.



Zach Galifianakis: Oh, you were in the movie, Monster.



Charlize Theron: Monster. Yeah, just Monster.



Zach Galifianakis: Did you win an Oscar for that?



Charlize Theron: I did.



Zach Galifianakis: Where’s your Oscar statue.



Charlize Theron: It’s in my house.



Zach Galifianakis: It’d be cool if you hung from the rear view mirror in your car, with a high school tassel.



Charlize Theron: (giggles) Where did that come from? That stuff just
hangs out in your head. That’s funny. Did you write it down? You’re
really funny. Just remember it.



Zach Galifianakis: So it says here, you’re a dog lover?



Charlize Theron: Yeah, very much.



Zach Galifianakis: Do you have a dog?



Charlize Theron: I have a few, yeah. I adopt them and I actually just
recently adopted one from the pound. He actually has this really
horrible disease called leishmaniasis and it’s like a cancer. He’s on
medication right now and we hope he pulls through. It’s a pretty bad
disease. They don’t know that much about it here in America.



Zach Galifianakis holds up a case for the video game Need for Speed Shift in front of Charlize Theron’s face.



Zach Galifianakis: We have a new sponsor for the show. Is this on
camera? (To Charlize Theron) Sorry about this. We have a new sponsor of
the show: Need for Speed Shift. (To someone off camera) Which camera?
This one? (holds the game in front of Charlize Theron’s face) Video
game. What’s his name?



Charlize Theron: Oh boy.



Zach Galifianakis: Like, oh boy I wish my dog wasn’t sick.



Charlize Theron laughs uncomfortably and looks upset.



Zach Galifianakis: You ok? Cause of the dog?



Charlize Theron: Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re sweet for asking though.



Zach Galifianakis: How often to do you go back to South Africa?



Charlize Theron: I go quite a bit you know. You been?



Zach Galifianakis: Yes.



Charlize Theron: Did you go alone or did you go with a girlfriend or…alone.



Zach Galifianakis: I have a girlfriend.



Charlize Theron: That’s great



Zach Galifianakis: She looks a little bit like you.



Charlize Theron: Really? Oh wow. That’s such a nice compliment. Thank you.



Zach Galifianakis: And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.



Charlize Theron: (laughing) That’s funny. You must make her laugh all the time.



Zach Galifianakis: (wipes sweat of his brow) It’s warm in here.



Charlize Theron: (to camerapeople) Don’t put this on camera. (to Zach
Galifianakis) My thighs are so sweaty right now, it’s dripping all the
way to the back of my knees. Look at this. I think the only thing that
could cool me off right now is if I jump naked into a pool. It’s so
fucking hot.



Zach Galifianakis: Are you asking me to go with you?



Charlize Theron: To where?



Zach Galifianakis: To the naked pool.



Charlize Theron: (laughing hysterically) Oh my god, you are hilarious.



Zach Galifianakis: I wasn’t joking.



Charlize Theron: You know how you made it really funny, is the image of
me and you, like me naked in a pool with a fat, garden gnome. That’s
really good. You are really good. You are really good.



Zach Galifianakis: I hope your dog dies.



Charlize Theron: (laughs) I just pissed myself.