Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron

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Between Two Ferns

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Comedy Deathray

Actor

Charlize Theron

Actor

Zach Galifianakis

Producer

Scott Aukerman

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The video opens with a title that read BETWEEN TWO FERNS with ZACH GALIFIANAKIS. The titles fade to reveal Zach Galifianakis and Charlize Theron sitting between two ferns.

Zach Galifianakis: Hello, welcome to another episode of Between Two Ferns. I’m the host, Zach Galifianakis. And my guest today is Charlize Theron. (He mispronounces her name.)

Charlize Theron: Charlize Theron. (She corrects his pronunciation.) It’s ok, everybody does that.

Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron.

Charlize Theron: Theron, like heron, Theron.

Zach Galifianakis: Like heroin.

Charlize Theron: Yeah, no, just Theron. Just, start away.

Zach Galifianakis: So you were in Monsters, Inc.?

Charlize Theron: Ha ha, no. That’s humorous.

Zach Galifianakis: Oh, you were in the movie, Monster.

Charlize Theron: Monster. Yeah, just Monster.

Zach Galifianakis: Did you win an Oscar for that?

Charlize Theron: I did.

Zach Galifianakis: Where’s your Oscar statue.

Charlize Theron: It’s in my house.

Zach Galifianakis: It’d be cool if you hung from the rear view mirror in your car, with a high school tassel.

Charlize Theron: (giggles) Where did that come from? That stuff just hangs out in your head. That’s funny. Did you write it down? You’re really funny. Just remember it.

Zach Galifianakis: So it says here, you’re a dog lover?

Charlize Theron: Yeah, very much.

Zach Galifianakis: Do you have a dog?

Charlize Theron: I have a few, yeah. I adopt them and I actually just recently adopted one from the pound. He actually has this really horrible disease called leishmaniasis and it’s like a cancer. He’s on medication right now and we hope he pulls through. It’s a pretty bad disease. They don’t know that much about it here in America.

Zach Galifianakis holds up a case for the video game Need for Speed Shift in front of Charlize Theron’s face.

Zach Galifianakis: We have a new sponsor for the show. Is this on camera? (To Charlize Theron) Sorry about this. We have a new sponsor of the show: Need for Speed Shift. (To someone off camera) Which camera? This one? (holds the game in front of Charlize Theron’s face) Video game. What’s his name?

Charlize Theron: Oh boy.

Zach Galifianakis: Like, oh boy I wish my dog wasn’t sick.

Charlize Theron laughs uncomfortably and looks upset.

Zach Galifianakis: You ok? Cause of the dog?

Charlize Theron: Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re sweet for asking though.

Zach Galifianakis: How often to do you go back to South Africa?

Charlize Theron: I go quite a bit you know. You been?

Zach Galifianakis: Yes.

Charlize Theron: Did you go alone or did you go with a girlfriend or…alone.

Zach Galifianakis: I have a girlfriend.

Charlize Theron: That’s great

Zach Galifianakis: She looks a little bit like you.

Charlize Theron: Really? Oh wow. That’s such a nice compliment. Thank you.

Zach Galifianakis: And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Charlize Theron: (laughing) That’s funny. You must make her laugh all the time.

Zach Galifianakis: (wipes sweat of his brow) It’s warm in here.

Charlize Theron: (to camerapeople) Don’t put this on camera. (to Zach Galifianakis) My thighs are so sweaty right now, it’s dripping all the way to the back of my knees. Look at this. I think the only thing that could cool me off right now is if I jump naked into a pool. It’s so fucking hot.

Zach Galifianakis: Are you asking me to go with you?

Charlize Theron: To where?

Zach Galifianakis: To the naked pool.

Charlize Theron: (laughing hysterically) Oh my god, you are hilarious.

Zach Galifianakis: I wasn’t joking.

Charlize Theron: You know how you made it really funny, is the image of me and you, like me naked in a pool with a fat, garden gnome. That’s really good. You are really good. You are really good.

Zach Galifianakis: I hope your dog dies.

Charlize Theron: (laughs) I just pissed myself.