Tiffani Thiessen is Busy

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The video opens with shot of a cat sitting on couch. The cat vomits onto the couch.

Cat: I ain’t eating this. Hey Mittens, let’s order a pizza.

The cat jumps off of the couch to the sound of a laugh track. The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen behind a camera.

Tiffani Thiessen: And, cut. Alright, cats, wranglers, take five. (Tiffani Thiessen turns toward the camera recording her) Oh, hi there. I’m actress Tiffani Thiessen.

The words – Tiffani Thiessen actress – appear.

Tiffani Thiessen: I’m on the set of my new, live action cat comedy, but I wanted to take a few moments to talk with you. Now, I keep getting asked why I’m not doing the Saved By The Bell cast reunion on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The truth, as much as I would like to do it, I’m just really busy.

Tiffani Thiessen gets up and moves over to sit on a couch.

Tiffani Thiessen: So, not only am I directing, producing and doing all the voices for the live action cat comedy, I’m also working with NASA on a new fuel cell for the next space shuttle.

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen standing in front of chalkboard with mathematical equations written on it.

Tiffani Thiessen: …the gravitational waves to push the shuttle.

The shot cuts to two guys in NASA uniforms. Both men look confused and one raises his hand. The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen.

Tiffani Thiessen: Ok, I’ll go over this again.

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen playing guitar outside with her band mate.

Tiffani Thiessen (voiceover): I’m a co-lead singer in an Indigo Girls tribute band.

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen in a jungle setting with several ethnic looking men and puffing on what appears to be a joint.

Tiffani Thiessen (voiceover): I spent two months in Costa Rica developing a sativa strand of marijuana. (non-voiceover) This stuff is chronic.

Ethnic man: Kapowski Kush.

The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen on the couch.

Tiffani Thiessen: And, several times a week, I sit by my pool and look hot.

The shot cuts to a montage of Tiffani Thiessen by a pool in a bikini, looking hot. The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen on the couch, typing on a laptop.

Tiffani Thiessen: Like I said, a shit ton of stuff going on, but that’s who I am. You know, it’s go, go, go for me. 24/7. Never stop. I have a kite surfboard that’s been sitting in the corner that I haven’t even touched yet. I entered a grilled cheese contest at the end of the month and I’m training for the UFC Tai Chi competition.

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen in martial arts uniform training for her tai chi competition. The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen on the couch.

Tiffani Thiessen: Every idea I have takes up time. The Saved By The Bell reunion is a good idea, but I probably have 100 to 150 great ideas in front of that one.

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen painting a still life of fruit.

Tiffani Thiessen: Did someone move my fruit because the lighting’s different. Hello?

The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen sitting on the couch knitting.

Tiffani Thiessen: What idea am I busy with now? I’m busy making a documentary about how busy I am with all my idea.

The shot cuts to black and white image of Tiffani Thiessen with the following subtitle: La femme est très occupée, elle ne peut pas rester. The shot cuts back to color.

Tiffani Thiessen: Would you ask Angelina Jolie to slow everything down just to have a reunion with the Girl Interrupted cast?

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen working as a crossing guard. The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen on the couch.

Tiffani Thiessen: Can Sandy Bullock just pause everything just to hang out with the cast of Speed for a day? I mean, would you ask Madeleine Albright to stop everything just to have dinner with the old Clinton administration?

The shot cuts to Tiffani Thiessen trying to assemble an out of the box shelving unit and talking on the phone with customer service. The shot cuts back to Tiffani Thiessen on the couch. She types on the laptop quickly and looks at the camera.

Tiffani Thiessen: No.

A brief montage of Tiffani Thiessen’s various activities is shown before cutting back to her on the couch.

Tiffani Thiessen: So, Jimmy, thanks for trying to organize a reunion, but can we connect in a couple months because, like Oprah and Madonna and Queen Elizabeth, I got a shit ton of stuff going on.

A bell is heard going off in the background.

Tiffani Thiessen: Ah, the turducken is done. Saved by the bell.