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What happens in your bed when you're on vacation?
Published June 20, 2012 2.9m views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring - Rob Riggle, Kathryn Hahn, Jake Johnson, Lizzy Caplan
Writer/Director - Lauryn Kahn
Producer - Alex Richanbach
DP - Jonathan Nicholas
Editors - Josh Salzberg & Collin Pittier
Production Design - Martin Vallejo
Hair and Makeup - Emily Rae
Gaffer - Nathan Carballo
Assistant Camera - Erin Olesen
Electric - Steven Albovias
Sound - BoTown Sound
PA - Ross Buran

[Music Playing]

Jake Johnson: Happy anniversary.

Lizzy Caplan: Happy anniversary, handsome.

[Kissing Sound]

Jake Johnson: This vacation was so overdue.

Lizzy Caplan: Oh! Tell me about it. I mean, we've earned this.

Jake Johnson: You know, I really love you.

Lizzy Caplan: [Whispers] Hey. Hey. I love you, too.

[Door Creaks Open]

Kathryn Hahn: [Gasping]

Jake Johnson: Go, go, go go!

Lizzy Caplan: Okay! Okay!

Kathryn Hahn: Honey! Hey! Honey!

Rob Riggle: What? What?

Jake Johnson: N-no no, no no, no.

Rob Riggle: Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Lizzy Caplan: W-w-wait!

Rob Riggle: Who the hell are you guys?!

Lizzy Caplan: Shh! Shh!

Rob Riggle: What the hell are you doing in here?!

Lizzy Caplan: Shh!

Kathryn Hahn: Okay, okay! So, what are you trying to...

Jake Johnson: Shh! Rory. Sally. We just had sex in your bed.

Kathryn Hahn: Why? Why did you?

Rob Riggle: What the hell is going? You know what? Don't move!

Lizzy Caplan: v Jake Johnson: No! Wait! Wait!

Rob Riggle: I'm calling the cops!

Jake Johnson: [Screaming] SHUT UP!

Kathryn Hahn: [Screams] Ahh!

Jake Johnson: [Screaming] You wanna get crazy?! Let's get crazy! [Normally] Why are you on your knees?

Rob Riggle: Oh my God. Oh my God.

Jake Johnson: This isn't...

Rob Riggle: Don't shoot. Do not shoot.

Lizzy Caplan: Why do these girls always get on their knees?

Jake Johnson: I don't know!

Lizzy Caplan: Every time!

Jake Johnson: It's so stupid.

Lizzy Caplan: It's wild.

Jake Johnson: If you're on your knees I can still shoot you in the face.

Lizzy Caplan: And why is she in front of him? It's like he's not even protecting his wife.

Rob Riggle: I am totally protecting her.

Lizzy Caplan: How? From behind?

Rob Riggle: [Screaming] GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, OKAY?!

[Everyone yelling inaudibly]

Jake Johnson: [Yelling] RELAX! We sleep on our little IKEA bed and a little futon, okay?!

Lizzy Caplan: Yeah.

Jake Johnson: So, when you guys go out of town, we like to sneak in and have sex on your bed. And you're gonna treat us like criminals?!

Rob Riggle: Oh, come on!

Jake Johnson: Why are you guys back on Tuesday? Your itinerary said you were supposed to be back on Sunday night.

Rob Riggle: How do you know that?!

Jake Johnson: 'Cause I hacked into your e-mail, you dumb s*it.

Lizzy Caplan: We didn't want to run into you.

Jake Johnson: Change your password.

Lizzy Caplan: This was not the plan.

Jake Johnson: One through nine is the dumbest password.

Kathryn Hahn: [Yelling] THAT'S YOUR PASSWORD?!

Rob Riggle: [Yelling] YES!

Kathryn Hahn: Wow.

Rob Riggle: It's called hiding in plain sight. No one would ever...

Jake Johnson: Or the dumbest.

Rob Riggle: It's. It's hard to remember all the passwords, so I keep it simple. Okay?!

Jake Johnson: Can I just. Can I say this? Your bed is awesome to have sex on.

Lizzy Caplan: Yeah.

Jake Johnson: And thank you.

Kathryn Hahn: At least somebody is. Heh.

Lizzy Caplan: What was that?

Kathryn Hahn: I said at least somebody's having sex on this bed.

Rob Riggle: Would you please shut up?

Lizzy Caplan: [Gasps]

Jake Johnson: Honey. When was the last time you guys?

Rob Riggle: It's none of your business what we do or don't do. Thank you very much!

Kathryn Hahn: Guess how many times in the last year.

Rob Riggle: They don't need to guess, honey.

Lizzy Caplan: How many times? Well...

Kathryn Hahn: Okay, last year. Let me tell you.

Lizzy Caplan: Okay. Total?! Five in a year?!

Jake Johnson: Five in a year...

Kathryn Hahn: In a year.

Rob Riggle: That's not. That's not!

Lizzy Caplan: A calendar year?

Rob Riggle: God! This has nothing to do with them. Would you please shut up?!

Jake Johnson: Question.

Lizzy Caplan: Did you guys have sex on vacation? I mean, you went to a romantic spot.

Jake Johnson: For sure. You guys, you guys had sex.

Rob Riggle: There's a lot of times we do things that aren't necessarily intercourse, but...

Jake Johnson: What does that. What does that mean?

Lizzy Caplan: Yeah?

Rob Riggle: Mutual masturbation. A lot of times, she's as tired as I am and, and, and I wake up, and, you know, our schedules are like... [Yelling] GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, OKAY?!

Jake Johnson: Kiss each other on the mouth.

Kathryn Hahn: Never!

Rob Riggle: Never.

Jake Johnson: Touch each other sexually.

Kathryn Hahn: v Rob Riggle: NO!

Jake Johnson: Turn around and kiss.

Kathryn Hahn: That's disgusting!

Jake Johnson: I can put a gun on you and make you guys watch us have sex!

Kathryn Hahn: Yes.

Rob Riggle: No.

Jake Johnson: She's saying yeah, you're saying no.

Kathryn Hahn: I would love to.

Lizzy Caplan: This got dark. You guys are dark.

Rob Riggle: What do you mean you want to, what are you saying?

Kathryn Hahn: I would love to see someone else having sex!

Rob Riggle: Ugh!

Jake Johnson: Everybody calm down.

Lizzy Caplan: Can we wash your sheets? We feel bad, we would have washed them, you never would have known.

Jake Johnson: For what we did on those sheets, we should wash them.

Lizzy Caplan: Exactly. Usually...

Rob Riggle: Oh, God! Just go, all right?! We'll burn the sheets for all I care!

Lizzy Caplan: All right, fine. It's your robe, but I, listen, I was wondering if I could keep it.

Kathryn Hahn: I don't care. Just take it and go.

Lizzy Caplan: Well, you don't seem too happy about giving it...

Jake Johnson: She said keep it.

Lizzy Caplan: I know, but I feel like, guilty about taking it.

Rob Riggle: What is your problem? Just take the thing!

Jake Johnson: You have a thing with gifts like this.

Lizzy Caplan: I know!

Jake Johnson: You have to learn to accept them.

Lizzy Caplan: You're right. You're right. You're right. Thank you.

Jake Johnson: With that in mind big guy, can I keep your shirt and the boxers?

Rob Riggle: Fine! Just get out!

Jake Johnson: I have two pairs on, 'cause the first one was just to stop drippage. The second one, 'cause I like these.

Rob Riggle: I don't care! Just go! Please, go!

Jake Johnson: Question, and this is on the real.

Rob Riggle: [Screams]

Jake Johnson: Is it a keeper for us, or do you guys want the second half?

Rob Riggle: That's a seventy-six Rothchild you animal!

Jake Johnson: Do you guys want it?

Lizzy Caplan: We just opened it...

Rob Riggle: Get out! Take the Rothchild and go!

Lizzy Caplan: Don't take it. I don't like...we shouldn't drink and drive.

Kathryn Hahn: Take it! Just take it and go! Please! Please! Leave us alone!

Jake Johnson: We're gonna change this tone, and I want you guys to ask us to stay.

Rob Riggle: Okay. Uh, uh, uh, would you, would you please consider staying?

Jake Johnson: No, thank you.

Lizzy Caplan: Better things to do.

Jake Johnson: You guys don't seem like the kind of friends we wanna be friends with.

Lizzy Caplan: Yeah. Not interested.

Kathryn Hahn: Bye.

Jake Johnson: I'm gonna take off with this lady, and we're gonna go f**k in other peoples' beds.

Lizzy Caplan: There it is.

Kathryn Hahn: [Whispering] Just go. Please.

Rob Riggle: Get out. Please.

Kathryn Hahn: You're welcome.

Lizzy Caplan: All right. Bye, guys!

Jake Johnson: Dance! [Laughs] I'm not gonna shoot you. Idiots.

Rob Riggle: A**hole.

Kathryn Hahn: [Crying] Hold me.

Rob Riggle: No, I'm not gonna hold you. What did you tell them all...

Kathryn Hahn: Please, hold me.

Rob Riggle: I've gotta call the cops.

Kathryn Hahn: You are not getting out of here until you stick it in me!

Rob Riggle: What are you doing?! Stop! I don't wanna have sex!

[Music Playing]

Kathryn Hahn: Ugh! They stained the sheets!

Rob Riggle: Don't touch the semen. Don't touch anything.

Kathryn Hahn: I don't wanna contaminate the evidence!

[Music Playing]

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