Vacation Sex

Actor

Rob Riggle

Actor

Lizzy Caplan

Actor

Jake Johnson

Actor

Kathryn Hahn

Writer/Director

Lauryn Kahn

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Producer

Alex Richanbach

Sound

BoTown Sound

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

WEBVTT 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:08.000 [Music Playing] 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:09.000 <v Jake Johnson> Happy anniversary. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:12.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Happy anniversary, handsome. 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:13.000 [Kissing Sound] 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:18.000 <v Jake Johnson> This vacation was so overdue. 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:22.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Oh! Tell me about it. I mean, we've earned this. 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.000 <v Jake Johnson> You know, I really love you. 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:28.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> [Whispers] Hey. Hey. I love you, too. 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:29.000 [Door Creaks Open] 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> [Gasping] 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.000 <v Jake Johnson> Go, go, go go! 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:33.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Okay! Okay! 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:34.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Honey! Hey! Honey! 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.000 <v Rob Riggle> What? What? 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:36.000 <v Jake Johnson> N-no no, no no, no. 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:37.000 <v Rob Riggle> Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:38.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> W-w-wait! 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.000 <v Rob Riggle> Who the hell are you guys?! 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:40.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Shh! Shh! 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.000 <v Rob Riggle> What the hell are you doing in here?! 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:42.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Shh! 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:43.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Okay, okay! So, what are you trying to... 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:45.000 <v Jake Johnson> Shh! Rory. Sally. We just had sex in your bed. 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Why? Why did you? 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:49.000 <v Rob Riggle> What the hell is going? You know what? Don't move! 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:51.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> v Jake Johnson> No! Wait! Wait! 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:52.000 <v Rob Riggle> I'm calling the cops! 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:53.000 <v Jake Johnson> [Screaming] SHUT UP! 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> [Screams] Ahh! 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:56.000 <v Jake Johnson> [Screaming] You wanna get crazy?! Let's get crazy! [Normally] Why are you on your knees? 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:57.000 <v Rob Riggle> Oh my God. Oh my God. 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:58.000 <v Jake Johnson> This isn't... 00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.000 <v Rob Riggle> Don't shoot. Do not shoot. 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:00.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Why do these girls always get on their knees? 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:01.000 <v Jake Johnson> I don't know! 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:02.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Every time! 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:03.000 <v Jake Johnson> It's so stupid. 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> It's wild. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.000 <v Jake Johnson> If you're on your knees I can still shoot you in the face. 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:07.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> And why is she in front of him? It's like he's not even protecting his wife. 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.000 <v Rob Riggle> I am totally protecting her. 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> How? From behind? 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:10.000 <v Rob Riggle> [Screaming] GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, OKAY?! 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:11.000 [Everyone yelling inaudibly] 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:14.000 <v Jake Johnson> [Yelling] RELAX! We sleep on our little IKEA bed and a little futon, okay?! 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:15.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Yeah. 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:19.000 <v Jake Johnson> So, when you guys go out of town, we like to sneak in and have sex on your bed. And you're gonna treat us like criminals?! 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:20.000 <v Rob Riggle> Oh, come on! 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:24.000 <v Jake Johnson> Why are you guys back on Tuesday? Your itinerary said you were supposed to be back on Sunday night. 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.000 <v Rob Riggle> How do you know that?! 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:26.000 <v Jake Johnson> 'Cause I hacked into your e-mail, you dumb s*it. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> We didn't want to run into you. 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000 <v Jake Johnson> Change your password. 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:29.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> This was not the plan. 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:31.000 <v Jake Johnson> One through nine is the dumbest password. 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:32.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> [Yelling] THAT'S YOUR PASSWORD?! 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:33.000 <v Rob Riggle> [Yelling] YES! 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:34.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Wow. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000 <v Rob Riggle> It's called hiding in plain sight. No one would ever... 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:36.000 <v Jake Johnson> Or the dumbest. 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:39.000 <v Rob Riggle> It's. It's hard to remember all the passwords, so I keep it simple. Okay?! 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:43.000 <v Jake Johnson> Can I just. Can I say this? Your bed is awesome to have sex on. 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:44.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Yeah. 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:45.000 <v Jake Johnson> And thank you. 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:46.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> At least somebody is. Heh. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:47.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> What was that? 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:48.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> I said at least somebody's having sex on this bed. 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:49.000 <v Rob Riggle> Would you please shut up? 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:50.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> [Gasps] 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.000 <v Jake Johnson> Honey. When was the last time you guys? 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:53.000 <v Rob Riggle> It's none of your business what we do or don't do. Thank you very much! 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Guess how many times in the last year. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.000 <v Rob Riggle> They don't need to guess, honey. 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> How many times? Well... 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:57.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Okay, last year. Let me tell you. 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Okay. Total?! Five in a year?! 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.000 <v Jake Johnson> Five in a year... 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:00.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> In a year. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.000 <v Rob Riggle> That's not. That's not! 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> A calendar year? 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:04.000 <v Rob Riggle> God! This has nothing to do with them. Would you please shut up?! 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.000 <v Jake Johnson> Question. 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:09.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Did you guys have sex on vacation? I mean, you went to a romantic spot. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:10.000 <v Jake Johnson> For sure. You guys, you guys had sex. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.000 <v Rob Riggle> There's a lot of times we do things that aren't necessarily intercourse, but... 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:14.000 <v Jake Johnson> What does that. What does that mean? 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Yeah? 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:24.000 <v Rob Riggle> Mutual masturbation. A lot of times, she's as tired as I am and, and, and I wake up, and, you know, our schedules are like... [Yelling] GET THE F**K OUT OF MY HOUSE, OKAY?! 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.000 <v Jake Johnson> Kiss each other on the mouth. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Never! 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:28.000 <v Rob Riggle> Never. 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:29.000 <v Jake Johnson> Touch each other sexually. 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:30.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> v Rob Riggle> NO! 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.000 <v Jake Johnson> Turn around and kiss. 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:32.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> That's disgusting! 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:33.000 <v Jake Johnson> I can put a gun on you and make you guys watch us have sex! 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:34.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Yes. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.000 <v Rob Riggle> No. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 <v Jake Johnson> She's saying yeah, you're saying no. 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> I would love to. 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:38.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> This got dark. You guys are dark. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:39.000 <v Rob Riggle> What do you mean you want to, what are you saying? 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> I would love to see someone else having sex! 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:41.000 <v Rob Riggle> Ugh! 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:42.000 <v Jake Johnson> Everybody calm down. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:46.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Can we wash your sheets? We feel bad, we would have washed them, you never would have known. 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.000 <v Jake Johnson> For what we did on those sheets, we should wash them. 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Exactly. Usually... 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:50.000 <v Rob Riggle> Oh, God! Just go, all right?! We'll burn the sheets for all I care! 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:55.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> All right, fine. It's your robe, but I, listen, I was wondering if I could keep it. 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:56.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> I don't care. Just take it and go. 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:58.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Well, you don't seem too happy about giving it... 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.000 <v Jake Johnson> She said keep it. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> I know, but I feel like, guilty about taking it. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:02.000 <v Rob Riggle> What is your problem? Just take the thing! 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.000 <v Jake Johnson> You have a thing with gifts like this. 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:04.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> I know! 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:05.000 <v Jake Johnson> You have to learn to accept them. 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> You're right. You're right. You're right. Thank you. 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:09.000 <v Jake Johnson> With that in mind big guy, can I keep your shirt and the boxers? 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:10.000 <v Rob Riggle> Fine! Just get out! 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:14.000 <v Jake Johnson> I have two pairs on, 'cause the first one was just to stop drippage. The second one, 'cause I like these. 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:16.000 <v Rob Riggle> I don't care! Just go! Please, go! 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.000 <v Jake Johnson> Question, and this is on the real. 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:19.000 <v Rob Riggle> [Screams] 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.000 <v Jake Johnson> Is it a keeper for us, or do you guys want the second half? 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:23.000 <v Rob Riggle> That's a seventy-six Rothchild you animal! 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:24.000 <v Jake Johnson> Do you guys want it? 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:25.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> We just opened it... 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:26.000 <v Rob Riggle> Get out! Take the Rothchild and go! 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Don't take it. I don't like...we shouldn't drink and drive. 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:30.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Take it! Just take it and go! Please! Please! Leave us alone! 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:34.000 <v Jake Johnson> We're gonna change this tone, and I want you guys to ask us to stay. 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:41.000 <v Rob Riggle> Okay. Uh, uh, uh, would you, would you please consider staying? 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:42.000 <v Jake Johnson> No, thank you. 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Better things to do. 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:44.000 <v Jake Johnson> You guys don't seem like the kind of friends we wanna be friends with. 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> Yeah. Not interested. 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:46.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Bye. 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.000 <v Jake Johnson> I'm gonna take off with this lady, and we're gonna go f**k in other peoples' beds. 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:50.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> There it is. 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> [Whispering] Just go. Please. 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:53.000 <v Rob Riggle> Get out. Please. 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:54.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> You're welcome. 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:56.000 <v Lizzy Caplan> All right. Bye, guys! 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:02.000 <v Jake Johnson> Dance! [Laughs] I'm not gonna shoot you. Idiots. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.000 <v Rob Riggle> A**hole. 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:06.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> [Crying] Hold me. 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000 <v Rob Riggle> No, I'm not gonna hold you. What did you tell them all... 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Please, hold me. 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:10.000 <v Rob Riggle> I've gotta call the cops. 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> You are not getting out of here until you stick it in me! 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:15.000 <v Rob Riggle> What are you doing?! Stop! I don't wanna have sex! 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.000 [Music Playing] 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> Ugh! They stained the sheets! 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.000 <v Rob Riggle> Don't touch the semen. Don't touch anything. 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:22.000 <v Kathryn Hahn> I don't wanna contaminate the evidence! 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:28.000 [Music Playing]