Drunk History Christmas with Ryan Gosling, Jim Carrey, and Eva Mendes

[music playing]
Allan McLeod: Hello. Today we're gonna talk
about 'Twas the Night Before
Allan McLeod: Christmas. 'Twas the night
before Christmas, and all
Allan McLeod: through the house, not a
creature was stirring, not
Allan McLeod: even a mouse. All the
stockings were hung by the
Allan McLeod: chimney with care, in hopes
that Saint Nicholas soon
Allan McLeod: would be there. The children
were hung, oh, fuck!
Allan McLeod: I sound like a goddamn...
Director: You sound great.
Allan McLeod: Okay. I'm sorry, guys.
Director: Next quote.
Allan McLeod: Guys, I'm sorry.
[music playing]
Allan McLeod: And mamma in her ker-
mm, mm, mm. And mamma in her
Allan McLeod: kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains
Allan McLeod: for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose
Allan McLeod: such a clatter, I sprang from
my bed to see what was the
Allan McLeod: matter. I sprang from
my bed.
Allan McLeod: Fuck. Now, this is bad.
This is real bad.
Director: Stop saying that.
You're doing great.
[music playing]
Allan McLeod: Okay. Away to the
window I flew like a flash,
Allan McLeod: tore open the shutters and
threw open
Allan McLeod: sash.
Allan McLeod:
Allan McLeod: And what to my wondering eyes should
appear? A sleigh full of deer
Allan McLeod: and a, uh, a sleigh full
of reindeer.
Allan McLeod: Fuck. I f-, I'm sorry, man, like...
Director: No, you're doing great.
Allan McLeod: Can I like, go back
or wherever?
Director: No, you got it.
Allan McLeod: Okay.
Allan McLeod: With a little old driver
so lively and quick, I
Allan McLeod: knew in a moment it must be
Saint Nick. More rapid than
Allan McLeod: eagles his coursers they
came, and he whistled and
Allan McLeod: shouted and called them by
name. "On Dancer, on Prancer,
Allan McLeod: on uh, Shower and Blintzen. On, uh...
Allan McLeod: Maybe, uh, I, they
Allan McLeod: may have, I may have already
named all the guys. I'm
Allan McLeod: sorry, man. I'm not trying to
fuck it up, man.
Director: You're doing very good.
Allan McLeod: I'm trying to like, do the...
Directors: You're doing good,
you are doing it.
Allan McLeod: God!
[music playing]
Allan McLeod: To the top of the
portal, to the top of the
Allan McLeod: wall, on Dashaway, dash away,
dash away all. And then with
Allan McLeod: a twinkling I heard with a
hoof, the prancing and
Allan McLeod: prowling of each little hoof.
Allan McLeod: His eyes, how they twinkled.
Allan McLeod: His cheeks were like jelly.
His bowl full of, uh, jelly.
Allan McLeod: I'm so goddamn drunk.
Director: Yeah.
Allan McLeod: Derek, I drank since
two thirty today. [laughs]
Director: I know, let's just
try reading it.
Allan McLeod: He spoke not a word,
but went straight to his
Allan McLeod: work. And filled all the
stockings then turned with a jerk.
Allan McLeod: And laying his finger
aside his nose, and giving a
Allan McLeod: nod, up the chimney he rose.
[crunching noises]
[music playing]
Allan McLeod: And I heard him
exclaim as he drove out of
Allan McLeod: sight, "Happy Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!"
Director: That was close.
Allan McLeod: I fucked it all up!
Director: No, you didn't!
Allan McLeod: Guys! Goddamn it!
Director: You didn't fuck anything up,
Director: what are you talking about?
You did the whole thing.
Allan McLeod: Guys, goddamn it,
I fucked it all
Director: Do you realize
that you're drunk?
(sound of liquid hitting the floor)
[music playing]