Tired of the constant pressure to 'Hook Up'? This diverse group of teens has a message for you. F*ck the hookup culture!

Full Credits

Cast:
Natalie Palamides
Lou Wilson
Writer / Director / Editor - Jon Millstein
DP - Matt Sweeney
Gaffer - Jenn Cohen

Stats & Data

Transcript

♪ ♪
Fuck the hookup culture!
Fuck the hookup culture!
We're a diverse group of teens that says "no" to hooking up.
We are looking for
something more meaningful,
such as hugging, kissing,
hand-holding, dating, and yes,
ultimately marriage.
People our age have sex before
they know each other's name.
They will wipe off their partner's come
before they wipe away tears of joy.
It's gotta stop.
Hooking up will dry out
your privates.
Fuck the hookup culture!
Fuck the hookup culture!
We ain't religious!
The only god we pray to is
the god of true love,
but he's nowhere to be found
in our mess-up culture.
My parents met at
a school dance.
In today's world,
they'd be more likely to meet
at a school sponsored orgy.
Fact! 90 percent of teens are
hooking up 90 times a day.
Fact! Most every hookup is
as shallow as a kiddie pool.
Fact! Just cuz ya ain't hookin,
doesn't mean ya couldn't if you wanted to.
[ cat meows ]
If those of you in the hookup culture
can spend an entire day with
your parents without feeling
the deepest shame,
I'll have what you're having.
Then I'll send it right
back to the kitchen cuz baby
that ain't my kinda meal.
Fuck the hookup culture!
Fuck the hookup culture!
[ soft ♪ ♪ ]
[ALISON] Dear Hook Up Gang:
My girlfriend's always
pressuring me to hook up.
I go to pick up my pencil and
find her elbow deep in my ass.
What do I do?
Signed, Tired
in San Diego.
We get this question
all the time, and trust us,
there's only one place to
escape the hookup culture.
[both]
The science museum.
[MIKEY] At the science museum,
the pressures of hooking up
fall away like H20 off an
Anas platyrhynchos back.
[ALISON] The wonders of the
animal kingdom are twice as awesome
as your screw
buddy's dong-hole.
[ indistinct talking ]
[MIKEY] You'll never think of hooking
up when you see the elephant's trunk,
the gorilla's taught,
muscular chest,
and the dinosaur's dick.
[ moaning, explosions ]
[ALISON] Mommy.
Goddangit! I can't stop
thinking about hooking up!
Fuck the hookup culture!

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