Halal In The Family: A Very Spooq'y Halloween Special
- April 08, 2015
- 98k Views
Aasif Mandvi as Aasif Qu’osby
Sakina Jaffrey as Fatima Qu’osby
Shoba Narayanan as Whitney Qu’osby
Nicky Maindiratta as Bobby Qu’osby
Aasif Mandvi & Miles Kahn
Chan D. Booth
Aasif Mandvi & Miles Kahn
Chris G. Eleftheriades
Mik Moore & Miriam Fogelson
Chris & Amanda Wade
Camera Assistant/Media Mgr
First Assistant Director
Second Assistant Director
Boom Operator/Sound Utility
Best Boy Electric
Production Designer’s Assistant
Joanna “JoJo” Rodriguez
Theme Song Co Produced and Mixed by
Post Audio and Film Mix by
Greg Arnold for nofat::creative
BWR Public Relations
Stuart Gelwarg & Nicholas Famularo
Altman, Greenfield and Selvaggi
Joshua Sandler & Bianca Grimshaw
Gray Krauss Stratford Sandler Des Rochers LLP
“Just an Ordinary Family”
Ken Gold & Lillian LaSalle
Miles Kahn & David Javerbaum
Matthew Loren Cohen, Miles Kahn & David Hill
Mohammad Ali Shan Javid
Special Thanks to:
Mohammad Ali Shan Javid
We Also Wish to Thank:
Bend the Arc: A Jewish Partnership for Justice
The Brennan Center
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Institute for Social Policy and Understanding
Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (JFREJ)
MTV’s Look Different Campaign
Shoulder to Shoulder
Halal in the Family was made possible with the incredibly
generous support of these phenomenal organizations:
Center for New Community
ACCESS / National Network for Arab American Communities
Southern Asian Americans Leading Together (SAALT)
Ford Foundation, Civil and Human Rights Unit
Doris Duke Foundation for Islamic Art’s Building Bridges Program
And the Nearly 500 Awesome People Who Donated on Indiegogo
April 08, 2015
We're just an ordinary family,
living in your town (but don't worry)
We like monster trucks and football, even though we're brown (we hate curry)
So welcome to our clan
We promise there's no plan
To change the way you live or how you pray
Because we're just here to obey
(Male Voice): Your various laws, and local ordinances
(Another Male Voice): What are you doing? We're not that kind of Muslims.
(studio audience applause is heard)
Aasif Mandvi: Fatima, you got to meet Bobby's new math teach Wally.
Sakina Jaffrey: Hi Wally.
> Nice to meet you.
> Watch this. Who's your favorite Nascar driver?
> Dale Earnhardt Jr.
> Who's your favorite country star?
> Blake Shelton.
> Now watch this.
> Bud Light.
The Housewives of New Jersey.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
A '68 Mustang hatchback with a 3022 barrel V8.
> It is nice to have a real American in the neighborhood to hang out with.
> Why don't you just stay for dinner Wally? We're having Aasif's favorite, deep
fried pork chop with bacon sauce.
> That is not exactly on my diet. Besides I can't stay anyway, I'm
volunteering at my Mosque's food bank tonight.
> Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said Mosque.
> I did, you know the Dara Islam Mosque over on Main Street.
> Yeah well, enjoy your Mosque Wally. If that's your real name.
> Actually that's my nickname. Boys called Walli was a little bit too formal.
(speaks a foreign language)
> It was nice meeting you.
> Isn't he nice?
> Mr. Thompson is the best.
> I can't wait to have him in math next year.
> Ok, I can't believe that guy lied to me.
> What are you talking about?
> Well he never said he was a Muslim.
> Did he say that he wasn't a Muslim?
> No, but he's white.
> Aasif, what does that have to do with it?
> Out of all of the religions out there, why would he choose Islam, huh?
I mean Mormons are very popular with white people right now.
What do you think he's hiding? Maybe he's spying on us.
> Daddy, should we be worried?
> He's really good with numbers,
and bombs have number counters.
> Aasif, look what you've done. Kids, your father is being ridiculous.
There are prominent respected Muslims of all types.
Dr. Oz, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, even Ghostface Killah.
> Ok, don't drag the Wu Tang Clan into this.
> You are being paranoid.
> Am I, or maybe he's a mole for the FBI.
> Just because he's white?
> Ok, when you say it like that
it sounds bad.
> Muslims can look
like anyone even white people.
> Be quiet.
He may have this place bugged.
> Why don't you have him over for dinner so you can find out what he's really like?
> Hey, that's a pretty good idea. That way I can counter spy on him from
the safety of our own home.
> Oh, Aasif.
(studio audience applauds)
> Well that meal really filled my soul.
> Did you say mole?
> Would you like some pie Mr. Thompson?
> No, I can't.
> Don't want to have any
good old fashion American pie, huh?
> Just, trying to watch my weight.
> Really, what else are you trying to watch?
And please, talk into this plant.
> If you'll excuse me for a minute, I need to make a call.
> I got him exactly where I want him.
> Stop it and eat your pie.
> No, it's just that I have this strange feeling the situation here is critical.
> I got ya!
You are working for the FBI.
> I'm not a mole. You're the mole.
> You were talking to the Feds right now.
> That was my wife.
She says I'm crazy.
> You're both crazy. Neither one of you is a mole.
> Oh, boy.
> I feel so dumb.
> So you're saying this is just a crazy mix-up due to the fact that...
(Together): Muslims live under constant surveillance that few other groups
are subjected to. While the FBI is busy recruiting people in our own community
to spy on us.
(they all laugh)
> (Male voice): Hello, FBI? Yes, they're at it again.
They seem to be bowing to Allah in preparation for some sort of attack, or...
No, no. I'm pretty sure they're not just laughing. Yes, I'll hold.
(studio audience laughs)
(ending theme song)
> Oh, Fatima you got to meet Wally's...Let's start again.
> You sure you don't want some more pie? Did you notice her?
> You don't even have the knife and you already cut it.
You sure you don't want some more pie or a stab?
Pie or stab? Pie or stab?
Did you say mole?
> A-are you sure you don't want... (Shoba laughs)
> It's ok, you've been good all day. You didn't laugh - just one moment.
> You mean to say that this has just been a crazy mix up due to the fact that...
(Together): Muslims are...
> Fuck, Fuck.