or
Jonathan loves three things - Oribe Texture Spray, anti-cellulite body wraps and Game of Thrones.
Published April 22, 2014 160k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Jonathan Van Ness
Featuring: Kate Hess
Directed by Erin Gibson
Written by Erin Gibson and Alex Berg Matt Mazany
Producer Matt Mazany and Ross Buran
DP - Sevdije Kastrati
Editor - John Ford
Assistant Editor - Leann Bowen
Camera Operator - Matt Sweeney
Sound Mixer - Ryan Kaiser
Production Designer - Flower Cole

1

DID YOU WATCH THIS WEEKS EPISODE
OF GAME OF THRONES?

2

(LAUGHS) I DID, BUT I JUST
ATE A POT COOKIE.

3

GIRL, I GOT YOU.
I'LL TALK YOU OFF THE LEDGE.

4

(LAUGHS)

5

IT'S OKAY, IT WAS BANGING GIRL.

6

(GAME OF THRONE THEME / DANCE MIX PLAYS)

7

8

SO IN THIS WEEKS EPISODE WE FIND
OUT THAT MAGGIE SMITH

9

IS PROBABLY BEHIND THE MURDER
OF POWER BOTTOM KING JOFFREY.

10

YOU DID WONDERFUL WORK ON JOFFREY.
NEXT ONE SHOULD BE EASIER.

11

AND THEN I'M LIKE MARGAERY AND
MAGGIE SMITH ARE GIVING ME

12

FULL BLOWN HEARTBREAKERS RIGHT
NOW STARING SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND

13

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT, AND FYI
THERE IS A NEW BABY POWER BOTTOM

14

IN TOWN, AND HER NAME IS TOMMEN.

15

AND I'M LIKE, WHERE THE HELL HAS
THAT LITTLE GIRL BEEN?

16

SO THEN PAPPA LANNISTER IS
SERVING HIM ALL TEA, NO SHADE

17

ON WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GOOD KING.

18

WISDOM, HMM?

19

AND THEN WE GET A GOOD LOOK AT
DEAD BABY POWER BOTTOM THE FIRST.

20

HE'S GOT HIS TANNING GLASSES ON,
ON HIS KING LINEN TANNING BED, AND

21

HE IS READY TO GO TO HEAVEN.

22

SO OBERYN AND CHERYL ASKED
WHY DIDN'T HE KILL MUNCHKIN.

23

AND YOUR SON, I KILLED HIM.

24

AND THEN THEY START TO MAKE OUT, BUT
THEN THEY STOP MAKING OUT

25

AND THEN BROTHER D GIVE SHARON THE
JODIE FOSTER IN THE

26

ACCUSED TREATMENT.

27

STOP... STOP...

28

AND THEN THERE WAS THAT SHOT WHEN
BLOND CHER STARTED TO PULL BACK

29

FABRIC, AND I WAS LIKE POOR
POWER BABY JOFFREY IS ABOUT TO

30

ROLL OVER ON THEM LIKE WEEKEND
AT BERNIES STYLE.

31

(LAUGHS) THAT MOVIE WAS SO FUNNY.

32

SO THEN MR. SOPHIA BERGARA
IS GETTING THE BI-SEXUAL VIBE

33

SOMETHING HE'S TOTALLY BEEN LOOKING FOR, BUT I'M THINKING IF I'M

34

GOING TO MESS AROUND WITH MR. SOPHIA BERGARA, I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD,

35

AND NEED ALL THE BADGE TO EXIT,
BECAUSE I WOULD TOTALLY TURTLE

36

IF I WAS MAKING OUT WITH A GUY,
AND THERE WAS LIKE GIRLS AROUND.

37

THREESOMES ARE JUST
LIKE A LOT OF WORK.

38

SO THEN PUSSY POP AND PADRE GO
TO VISIT MUNCHKIN, AND TELLS

39

HIM OF ALL THE ROOMERS THAT ARE
GOING ABOUT HIM, AND THEN

40

MUNCHKIN TURNS IN TO KINGS LANDING'S
MURDER SHE WROTE, AND

41

TRIES TO FIGURE OUT WHO MURDERED
POWER BOTTOM.

42

NO ONE HAD MORE CAUSE TO KILL
JOFFREY THAN MY FATHER.

43

MAYBE JOFFREY WAS
TOO MUCH WORK FOR HIM.

44

SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY SOPHIE.
SHE IS THE ONLY ONE

45

I'M CERTAIN HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH THIS MURDER.

46

THAT PART WAS LIKE WATCHING
SOMEONE'S DRUGS TO FIGURE OUT

47

WHO KILLED JFK. LIKE WHO DID
TAKE OUT JFK ANYWAY?

48

WE ARE JUST NOT BEING
TOLD THE WHOLE STORY.

49

MARILYN, LIKE THAT RASTAFARIAN,
EVERYONE WAS GETTING KILLED THEN.

50

-WHAT RASTAFARIAN?
-BOB FUCKING MARLEY GIRL. GET IT TOGETHER.

51

WAIT, BOB MARLEY WAS KILLED?

52

HE WAS MURDERED BY THE SAME PEOPLE
THAT TOOK OUT ALL OF THOSE

53

PEOPLE. PROBABLY AALIYAH TOO.

54

SO THEN, YOU HAD THE WILDLINGS
GO CRAZY ON LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE,

55

AND THEN YOU HAD ALABASTER STEAL
TALL BABY TOM HANKS THAT

56

HE'S GOING TO GO FULL ON DONNER
PARTY ON HIS FAN MAIL.

57

I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR DEAD
MOMMA, AND I'M GOING TO EAT

58

YOUR DEAD POPPA.

59

SO IN THE LAST SCENE CHRISTINA AGUILERA
ROLES UP ON MARINE,

60

WHICH IS SERVING UP A PLATE FULL
OF PIPING HOT VEGAS REALNESS.

61

AND THEN REPLACEMENT MS. JARED
PROVES HIS LOVE FOR CHRISTINA AGUILERA

62

BY SHANKING SEA BISCUIT IN THE
MOTHER FUCKING EYE.

63

AND THEN SHE PUMMELED THEM
WITH OLD SLAVE ACCESSORIES.

64

DID YOU WATCH GAME
OF THRONES THIS WEEK?

65

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

66

(RAPID SALON SOUNDS)

67

DARLING THIS IS GIVNG ME FULL
MELISANDRA REALNESS.

68

I...

69

70

LOVE IT.

71

72

WHERE ARE...

73

MY DRAGONS.

74

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