BEFORE AFTER w/ Zachary Quinto

Uploader

Zachary Quinto

Actor

philipquinaz

Director

quinaz

Co-Creator

annamartemucci

Additional Credits >

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The video opens with Philip Quinaz standing outside a bullfighting arena, dressed as a bullfighter. Zachary Quinto walks up, also dressed as bullfighter.

Philip Quinaz: I am a bullfighter. I am a bullfighter.

The shot cuts the word – BEFORE – and then cuts back to Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz.

Philip Quinaz: You still subletting from Miguel?

Zachary Quinto: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Philip Quinaz: How's he doing?

Zachary Quinto: He's doing okay. You know Shauna left me, right?

Philip Quinaz: Really? Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Zachary Quinto: In the middle of the night.

Philip Quinaz: I've never been good at bullfighting when I'm in a relationship.

Zachary Quinto: Yeah, well, I guess I don't have to worry about that now. I should probably start with my right.

Philip Quinaz: It is your dominant leg. I hope it's a quick one. I have to work after this. How about you?

The shot cuts to the word – AFTER – then cuts back to the exterior of the bullfighting ring.

Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz come stumbling into view, screaming and bloodied.

Zachary Quinto: Oh my god!

Philip Quinaz: Was that a bull?

Zachary Quinto: It was a demon.

Philip Quinaz begins to weep and steps out of view. The shot cuts to dimly lit stairwell. The shot cuts to the word – BEFORE – and then back to the stairwell. Philip Quinaz is adjusting the collar on his priest outfit. Zachary Quinto arrives, also dressed as a priest.

Zachary Quinto: Hey Jerry.

Philip Quinaz: Father Jeff

Zachary Quinto: How are you, man?

Philip Quinaz: I'm doing great.

Zachary Quinto: You still at St. Basil?

Philip Quinaz: Not at St. Basil anymore. St. Martha's now.

Zachary Quinto: Love St. Martha's.

Philip Quinaz: Big church. Love it. Really comfy there.

Zachary Quinto: Sister Cassandra.

Philip Quinaz: Sister Cassandra's not there. She left. She fell in love. Everybody's doing it. Anyways, this is the situation up top. 14 year old female upstairs. She's been shacking up with Beelzebub. Her parents are worried sick. Seems that she's seen a few things. I'm thinking that we go up there, I'll hit the power of Christ button. You handle the begone, poof, farewell demons.

Zachary Quinto: You want me to take that part?

Philip Quinaz: Yeah, that's you.

Zachary Quinto: Okay.

Philip Quinaz: In and out.

Zachary Quinto: She puke yet?

Philip Quinaz: Not from what I hear. To be perfectly honest, I think this is a bluffer.

Zachary Quinto: Really?

Philip Quinaz: Oh yeah.

Zachary Quinto: Why?

Philip Quinaz: I think she's just been in bed for three days and she's bitchy. Let's do a run through.

Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz press crosses into each others foreheads and act as though a demon is being expelled.

Philip Quinaz: Ah, God is with you. One, two, thumb on the face.

Zachary Quinto: Thumb on the face is where it's at.

Philip Quinaz: A little of this, little of that, poof begone. In and out, go grab something to eat later.

Zachary Quinto: Wings?

Philip Quinaz: Wings!

Zachary Quinto: That's what I'm talking about.

Philip Quinaz: Flannigans?

Zachary Quinto: I'm in.

Philip Quinaz: Let's do it.

Zachary Quinto: After you buddy.

Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz head up the stairs.

Philip Quinaz: Sin City here we come. Did you and Sister Cassandra every fool around a little bit? Don't answer that. Don't answer that.

The shot cuts to the word – AFTER – and then back to stairwell, where Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz are coming back down the stairs.

Zachary Quinto: That's went pretty well.

Philip Quinaz: Yep. In and out, just like I said. I'm starved, where are we going?

Zachary Quinto: Garrity's!

The shot cuts to Philip Quinaz dressed as a clown.

Philip Quinaz: Is it somebody's birthday? How's that?

Zachary Quinto comes into the shot.

Zachary Quinto: You warming up?

Philip Quinaz: What's the kid's name again?

Zachary Quinto: Josh.

Philip Quinaz: Josh.

The shot cuts to the word – BEFORE – and then back to Zachary Quinto and Philip Quinaz.

Philip Quinaz: Hey, check this out, did you see this mole?

Philip Quinaz shows Zachary Quinto a mole on his shoulder.

Zachary Quinto: What? When did you notice it?

Philip Quinaz: Recently. My doctor says it's misshaped.

Zachary Quinto: Your doctor? You saw a doctor already?

Philip Quinaz: My doctor.

Zachary Quinto: What did he say?

Philip Quinaz: He said it's changing colors...

Zachary Quinto: It is changing colors. It's purple.

Philip Quinaz: ...and I probably have cancer. My clown coverage is horrible. Did you get the compass rings from the car?

Zachary Quinto: Yeah, I brought them up.

Philip Quinaz: Alright, so we've go the compass rings. Balloons are a go. I'm going to start off with some animals, work our way into swords.

Zachary Quinto: I think we're good.

Philip Quinaz: Look at it one more time actually.

Philip Quinaz shows Zachary Quinto the mole again.

Zachary Quinto: I'm sure it'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

Philip Quinaz: It's always looked like a coffee bean, but not it's starting to look like an almond.

Zachary Quinto: I'm sure it's fine.

Philip Quinaz: Forget it. I don't want to think about it.

Zachary Quinto: You're gonna be fine man.

Philip Quinaz: Let's go make this kid's birthday the best ever. Alright, I got your back.

The shot cuts to the word – AFTER – and then back Philip Quinaz and Zachary Quinto, who are coming back in from the party room, covered in blood.

Philip Quinaz: What the heck was that?

Zachary Quinto: Um, he exploded.

Philip Quinaz: He exploded.

Zachary Quinto: You've got some Josh on your shirt.

Philip Quinaz: He totally ruined my big finish. My God. That's only happened like one other time.

Zachary Quinto: I know. I was with you then too.

Philip Quinaz: But other than that we pretty much nailed.

Zachary Quinto: We nailed it. We were on.

Philip Quinaz: Yeah, we're in the happy business.

The shot cuts to the words – BEFORE AFTER – and the credits roll.